" Mommy and Daddy said that it was time for me to go to bed. But I'm not sleepy. I was watching 'Paw Patrol' while playing with my toys while snuggling next to Mommy on the couch. They put my night diaper on, tucked me under my blankie with my passie in my mouth, turned on my nightlight, gave me a kiss goodnight, gave me my plushy Monsieur Doux, turned off the light and closed the door. I hear Mommy and Daddy clean up all my toys from the other side of the door, turn off my show and started to talk about a movie and snacks. I want to watch and have snacks. I'm now left just sitting here, wondering what Mommy and Daddy are watching talking about while I try to calm myself down enough to sleep. Are they watching my shows without me? Maybe another cartoon? Why can't I watch? I don't want to go to bed now... "
At times, I wonder this whenever I put Olivia to bed. Sometimes she just zonks right out while other times it takes her a while to go to sleep. She doesn't cry at all when she is not sleepy ( thank goodness ), but mostly talk to herself or bounce around a bit before she passes out. She would often get up and race to the edge of her crib as we closed the door. Just the look on her face, not knowing what is going on or the fact that we are leaving her to to try to fall asleep sticks in my mind. Its that small feeling of being left behind or abandonment coming from her whenever I see her like that. But we have to stick to our routine schedule. Between 8pm and 8:30pm is bed time.
8.5 x 11 paper with pen and marker
artwork © 2018 Alex Cockburn