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Someone asked me on ask.fm recently: "How do you deal with negative emotions?"

I figured I may as well share it here since it's actually a question that I get asked more frequently than others.

The better stuff I do to deal with bleh

  • I try to figure out the source of the problem and tackle it head-on so it doesn't fester and become worse.  Always break problems down into smaller steps and solve them step by step in order to prevent getting overwhelmed. If it's not something I can address or fix, or if it's something I have to wait to fix, then...
  • I microwave cookie dough and eat that with some milk. Sugars and fats stimulate an area of the brain that produces reward chemicals.
  • Same with hugs. I go beg for hugs from my husband because hugs help release oxytocin, and that's a healthier alternative to eating cookies.
  • I go work out. 30 to 60 minutes of cardio will make me tired enough to not feel so horrible, or rather, I'm too busy feeling physically horrible to feel emotionally horrible. And it helps regulate neurochemicals by stimulating circulation and changing the active regions of the brain.
  • I play difficult puzzle games. If I'm thinking about a hard puzzle, I'm not feeling anything negative.
  • I work on game design projects in google spreadsheets to occupy my brain
  • I compose music
  • I do really boring but useful studies in order to improve my skillsets -- basically if you're feeling emotionally gross anyway and it's not getting better, you may as well do other things that feel kinda gross too and get them over with at the same time
  • I watch this video on repeat: 
  • I help other people with their problems so I don't have to think about my own (lol)
  • I stress-cook/stress-bake, then stress-feed my husband my stress-food
  • I talk to someone about the feelings (but don't impose on them, if I can)
  • I mend clothes.
  • I shop around on amazon and send a random item to someone that I know (yes, I stress-shop and buy stuff I don't need for other people; my friends are getting used to this)
  • I open freebies (not anymore but I used to; I can't afford to overwork my arm now)
  • I clean. CLEAN EVERYTHING. New atmosphere. More negative space. Minimalism can often give you a sense of mental freedom.
  • I start a new arts and crafts project
  • I find strangers and try to convince them that their existence is objectively beneficial to others, then thank them for existing, cause it's funny to watch their reactions
  • I tell my friends that I appreciate them and give them three facts which support my claims
  • I make rice porridge, top it with bonito flakes and pork floss and kewpie mayo and eat it while crying cause it tastes so unhealthily good
  • I throw all my cat plushies on the ground and flop on them to feel the goodness of 40+ cat plushies
  • I take a walk in an unfamiliar place and explore it
  • I tell Kanekiru puns
  • I bother sae-midori if it gets really really bad and we engage in sensible, faith-in-humanity-restored discourse.
  • I ask for help from people with lots of life experience
  • I find a bakery and go in to smell the goods.
  • I ask people on my social media to share something interesting or nice that happened to them that day.
  • If everything fails, I go out and jog until I'm so exhausted that I can't run anymore, then drag myself home, shower, and pass out. Usually sleep will help reset mood a little.

The not so great stuff I do/did to deal with bleh (I advise against these)

  • Cut myself out of existence/cut away 95% of my friends -- yeah, I tend to do this, because when I become stressed to the point of being irrational, I lose the remainder of my self-esteem. Dealing with irrationality is one of the things I dislike the most in life, so when I become someone that I consider irrational, I ghost as many people as I can bring myself to and desperately hope they can forget I existed. I wouldn't want to deal with someone as irrational as me, so why should I subject other people to that? Not a great habit though, cause I end up getting really lonely after I calm down. ^^;
  • Sleep for days -- When my depression and anxiety gets really bad, I develop hypersomnia. I have slept 18 hours a day regularly before in the most stressed period of time in my life. I don't know how I got my schoolwork done sometimes but I did.
  • Eat too much - JUNK FOOOOOD
  • Don't eat at all - at least drink water, please?
  • Pretend I'm a robot -- This one's a bit weird. When I was little, in order to meet my parents' expectations, I tried to become the most perfect thing I could envision -- a programmed AI. That way if I did something incorrectly, it wouldn't be because I was wrong. It's just how I was programmed. But living in that way, I couldn't afford to make the same mistake twice (a perfect AI would learn after making only one mistake). I couldn't truly comprehend non-objective information (emotions, opinions). If I made a mistake more than the margin of error I allowed myself, I fell into deep anxiety and borderline insanity... but it was really relieving to me, to trick myself into believing that I could 'format' my data, even my personality, and refresh from the beginning. In reality it was just me putting up a set of memory blocks that make me forget whenever I try to access certain information. It was probably the only way I knew how to forgive myself for making mistakes. So that was what I did. I'm still sometimes tempted to do this but my current living situation is very supportive and I haven't had the need to do a 'hard reset' in a long time. I'm still recovering from the effects of doing this repeatedly in my childhood.
  • Call my mother -- in my case, calling my mom (or my dad) when I'm feeling emotionally bleh is almost always a horrible idea. Her solution to all problems is "don't fight back" and "be passive" and "don't let anyone know you feel mentally ill or you'll never get a job in the future." She can't help it since her culture is so deeply engrained in her, so I don't fault her... but I would say, figure out who those sorts of people are in your life and don't talk to them when you don't feel good, especially if they're the only person left you can talk to. Sometimes instead of pulling you back from the edge, they'll just accidentally knock you off of it.
  • Rant on public twitter -- I highly suggest using a private twitter to do that on. XD; Some people will consider you admirable for sharing. Other people might just think it's unprofessional and inconsiderate. Best to err on the side of safety. You never need unsay what hasn't been said, or so they say.

I hope this is useful for some of you out there dealing with incredible stress. And if you have intentions to commit self-harm or violence, please reach out to a professional. Good luck out there!

Add a Comment:
 
:iconpastrypuffs:
PastryPuffs Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, this was helpful, it made me realize that I did/do all the unhealthy things, but lately I am trying to do the more healthy things 
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:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2017   Digital Artist
That's encouraging to hear :D
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:iconeollynart:
eollynart Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the cat video. I saved it to my personal collection Dango-cat-face 
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:icondadha:
dadha Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2017  Student Filmographer
Ahh so similar to the things I'd like to do when I'm feeling bleh.

Except for this one: I find a bakery and go in to smell the goods. Does the baker recognize you as that person who comes in to smell all the goods? 8D
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:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2017   Digital Artist
I don't think they do XD;
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:iconkanekiru:
Kanekiru Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
This gives me life 

puns give me life 
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:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2017   Digital Artist
Oh Kane you're alive to begin with~ <3
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:iconrinapon:
Rinapon Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017
"I go work out. 30 to 60 minutes of cardio will make me tired enough to not feel so horrible, or rather, I'm too busy feeling physically horrible to feel emotionally horrible."
I like those advices though, I guess this one is my favorite one among them-- It's also a good excuse to work out anyways > 3 <
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:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017   Digital Artist
Yes! Even if everything else sucks, "at least I worked out."
Reply
:iconmonochromera:
monochromera Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2017
This is such a lovely guide! Only thing here I can see that I don't already do is stress-bake/buy or the robot/AI portion (which though harmful, is incredibly unique) but even though I may not benefit from it, I'm certain a LOT of people will/have and I'd really like to share it with some friends that often struggle c: 


you have a personality as beautiful as your artwork <3 
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2017   Digital Artist
Please don't use autosuggestion to become a robot. O AO;;;

Thank you for reading XD
Good luck with your things
Reply
:iconamiyaen:
AmiyaEn Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017
Oh dear... I read the lower part and realized that the reason I keep tumbling back down to depression hell is because I keep ghosting out of existence and depends solely on one person who only gives me passive solution.... You were right, it is indeed a lonely world, but I feel as tough as I will only bother other people if I tell them my feelings, like... they have their own problems too. How do I know if Im not imposing too much on them?

The rest of your advice is great though, I need to try them out, thank you for the cat videos<3
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017   Digital Artist
You can always ask them first. "Is it alright if I vent to you about my feelings? It's okay to say no! I want to respect your comfort zone and space and this might be heavy."
I also make a habit to rotate through the people I vent to so no one gets more than one vent from me every month.
I also make sure to have at least 2 to 3 positive interactions with anyone I vent to for each vent I give, to make sure that the relationship is equivalent in terms of social needs.
Reply
:icondev-kyuu:
Dev-Kyuu Featured By Owner Edited Sep 7, 2017  Student General Artist
i'm still trying really hard to stop ghosting on everybody i know ahaaa...i haven't really talked to any of my friends in weeks, and it's just making the guilt build up so much worse ;;n;; i really can't help it though? plus with everything happening irl it makes it so hard to keep up with them...thanks for providing those other alternatives! (esp that video...omg...) i'll try to use some of them when things get hard. the sleeping and ghosting thing really hit home lmao, i've been sleeping 12+ hours everyday for weeks now and i'm so soreee
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017   Digital Artist
Instead of ghosting them, provide them with one place that they can go to to check on you if they need to.
For example, Deviant Art. Whenever you feel like you're going to withdraw, write a status that says "it's that time again! I'm going to vanish for a few weeks but hopefully will be back soon. TTYL"
And they'll be informed.
Reply
:icondev-kyuu:
Dev-Kyuu Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2017  Student General Artist
wahh thank you for this alternative ;;v;; that's a lot better actually, i don't know why i never thought of that...
really, thank you a lot - i'm going to try doing that from now on.
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2017   Digital Artist
Sometimes the simplest solutions are actually on our butts. We sit on them so we can't see them XD; Good luck!
Reply
:iconnekkohime:
Nekkohime Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
This really helps! Thank you so much! c:
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017   Digital Artist
No problem
Reply
:iconnaraeeee:
naraeeee Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017
Perfect timing for me to read this. Thank you.
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017   Digital Artist
Glad to be of service
Reply
:iconbezzalair:
bezzalair Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017
"I go beg for hugs from my husband"
I didn't know you got MARRIED! Last I hear you were still bf/gf! You are so quiet with your personal life! Congratz Riyo~ :heart: :glomp:

But anyway, if I ever get depressed, or whatever, I'll have to come back to this helpful chart! haha, good stuff :highfive:
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
Oh, yep! I got married~
My personal life is all over my twitter so that's where it went XD;

I hope this will be useful to you <3 and if you need someone to talk to, please prod me :hug:
Reply
:iconcherielou:
Cherielou Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017
Thank you for sharing! I've got more ideas now! ^^
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:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
o uo)b
Reply
:icon12damdo:
12DAMDO Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Hobbyist Filmographer
this journyal is nyan-aprooved
Reply
:iconriversreverie:
RiversReverie Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for sharing this!  You have a lot of good advice.  Hope everything is going well for you & you're keeping those negative emotions at bay.
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
Thanks XD I'm trying at least.
Reply
:iconshizuko-akatsuki:
Shizuko-Akatsuki Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Wow thank you, this is really helpful !  *w*
I can't get over this video btw omg. It's just too cute. Gotta share it <3
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:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
They have a game too, called Mitchirineko dash. It's intuitive to play for the most part.
Reply
:iconotterrang:
Otterrang Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Student General Artist
This comes at a time when it's definitely needed--thank you, Nyan, the top list is a good resource, and the bottom list a good reminder. (Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who watches the cat marching band video when I get down. Something about it is like sunshine in a bottle!) :heart:
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
Mitchirineko also has a game called mitchirineko dash for mobile.
It's all in Japanese but it was really intuitive to play even without understanding the language.
I recommend it.
Reply
:iconedelia-rebeis:
Edelia-Rebeis Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks so much for sharing, it's exactly what I needed at the moment <3 !
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
o7
Reply
:iconfrappe7:
Frappe7 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017
that video .... :heart:
can't help but smile!
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
They also have a game called Mitchirineko Dash, for mobile.
Reply
:iconfrappe7:
Frappe7 Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017
That sounds even cuter :D
You really like cats O_O
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2017   Digital Artist
That's actually a misconception.
I don't like cats as much as people think I do.
I just find cats a bit more relatable than humans so I tend to act like one. Then others project the idea that I love cats onto me when in reality...
I just like cat plushies. = w= heheh
Reply
:iconfrappe7:
Frappe7 Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2017
XD I get ya
My username is frappe, taken from the word, frappucino, and yet, I don't even drink coffee or frappucinos that much <_<
Still, it makes for a fun username for us both in my opinion :D

(i can relate to cats a lot too... particularly when i'm linger more around people who have food that i like.  there's just something relaxing about being with cats, plushies too)
Reply
:iconkitty-irene:
Kitty-Irene Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Student Digital Artist
I love that video! This is some great advice!
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
I also love that video.
Reply
:iconcatytem:
CatyTem Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have done the robot one! XD
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
Please avoid it.
I still can't access many of my personal opinions and feelings because they're all behind mental blocks. It's useful for short-term emergencies but if you get stuck the way I did, it'll get rough in society.
Reply
:iconcatytem:
CatyTem Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't think I've gotten stuck... I normally give up halfway into the day. XD But I haven't done in a long time.
Reply
:iconflauschi-fipsi:
Flauschi-Fipsi Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2017
I tend to eat a lot when im feeling downSweating a little... I have depression and its really hard sometimes to stay positive. This week especially was shit. Thank you for uploading this, Im gonna try some of thoseHug 
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
I used to have depression symptoms so bad that it was a wonder I made it this long XD;
What I find is that staying positive is useless. Staying realistic is a lot easier and more useful -- not only do you find evidence to back things up, making the claim stronger, it's practical and helps solve problems. Staying positive takes energy, and when you need to back it up with facts, it doesn't often work. It just satisfies your feelings in the short-term and each time you use it, it gets a little less effective than the time before and you'll eventually grow numb to it.

Most of the things I've posted here rely strongly on reality rather than positivity or negativity. I try to be practical and it's worked for me. I hope it works for you too.
Reply
:iconvixynyan:
VixyNyan Featured By Owner Edited Sep 5, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
"I watch this video on repeat"

me too~ mitchiri~ mitchiri~ ;u; :heart:
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
:highfive:
Reply
:iconmizuruudeki:
MizuruuDeki Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
very practical indeed~! makes me happy to see this kind of stuff from nyan > 7 <)
Reply
:iconnyanfood:
Nyanfood Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2017   Digital Artist
It pleases me to see you too, Mizuu <3
Reply
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