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:bulletblack:  I have scars that you will reference to art and mathematics, because the perfectionist in me placed them just so. But they will make your stomach roll when your taut grip on my hip reveals the spider webs underneath.


:bulletblack:  I don’t shower as often as I should. Mainly: I don’t have time. I’ll probably repulse you.


:bulletblack:  I have acne. Please let that repulse you.


:bulletblack:  My legs look like gooseflesh, and that repulses everyone.


:bulletblack:  "I will make love to my own sadness more than I make love to you" – preferably with a glass of wine and one hell of a soundtrack.


:bulletblack:  After that moment, your arms won’t be home, or refuge. They will be nets and teeth.


:bulletblack:  I have a "history," and this makes me a "man-hater," so I'll probably downgrade you and blame you for everything, anyway. In fact, after everything, I'm probably a lesbian, anyway.


:bulletblack:  I might start crying. No one likes naked, crying people. That just ruins everything.


:bulletblack:  I will always worry over your fingers… what if yours steal me, too? That would ruin me.

… what if my fingers ruin you?


:bulletblack:  I am a “two passes of a razor is probably good enough because I’m too lazy” kind of gal. I might spear you.


:bulletblack:  Sometimes, when I don’t have paper, I write on myself in sharpie. You might find verse, or that hot barista's number, but you also might find SpongeBob in a swimsuit. That’s a mood killer.


:bulletblack:  Reasons to not see me naked: I have reasons for not seeing me naked. This makes me a complicated sort of girl, and that's too complicated.

By now it's just not easy enough. Please, god, let me not be easy enough.

Listen here: soundcloud.com/nullibicity/rea…

what category does a list go in? also, quality? what quality? I'm just flabbergasted, and laughing, and done. Oh, I know big words. That's a turn off, right? Can that be added to the list? And I talk simply because if I let myself use my big words, that leads to big emotions, and I'll give myself away ; )

If old men could stop hitting on me, that would be great. Because I'm being paid to work, not hyperventilate. Unless someone wants to pay me for that. I'm good at it! I could be the next Bill Gates, yo. I'm just trying to do my job. Leave me alone. You're old enough to be my grandpa, and why the hell has this become common for older men? Why do people excuse it? I'm probably just biased, but I don't remember my grandpa ever making a pass at me or other girls because, oh I don't know, he was a decent and respectable man? Hell.

As another side note, when I texted my friend that, he basically said: "wait, is this that same old creepy man that tries to get you out to his car to see his 'dog,' gives you candy like a freaking kidnapper, and watches you clean the floor while complimenting you for it?" and I died. I died laughing. Like, what is my life?? This stuff is pretty much normal now, I guess. Yes. This is my life now, guys. SO! I've made this list, and I'm thinking about printing it out on a pamphlet and handing it out, while highlighting things with a laser pointer.
So... anyone want to pay me for it? I am going to college soon, and I could use the greenbacks. Unless being a stripper is the only possibility for my future?
can I be some inanimate object that no one can sexually objectify? that'd be awesome.
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:iconkdpxva:
kdpxva Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2017
I love this so much. The way you used your words are perfect and awesome. I'm impressed. :D
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad you liked it :thanks:
I'm only ever accidentally impressive, but I am grateful for your words.
Thank you!
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:iconkdpxva:
kdpxva Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2017
Haha. :D you are very welcome!
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:iconviviannaarts:
ViviannaArts Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Student Traditional Artist
I bet you handsome!💋💋
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:iconsoundlesswhispers:
SoundlessWhispers Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
This. This is glorious. :mwahaha: A wonderful example of satire, which I enjoyed immensely.
Unfortunately, it would seem that a few did not pick up on the sarcasm...
Wonderful work, and a wonderful reading!
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Fist Bump we are satirical cult sisters for life. Maybe you brainwashed me into loving you? Either way, consider me whipped. :giggle:
Thanks so much for always supporting my writing, and letting me awkwardly give them the first read (: I am grateful!
Let us mount our soapboxes and ride into the sunset with the majesty that only we possess (which is probably just the definition of a klutz).
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:iconsoundlesswhispers:
SoundlessWhispers Featured By Owner May 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle: I quite enjoyed that. I'm an evil indoctrinator (all nuances included) v_v

Of course I'm going to support your writing. It's glorious, and a wonderful expression of who you are. Screw The Greats; you're probably my favorite writer. Totally biased, but nonetheless genuine ;)
Oh, you know I have a closet full of soapboxes for just such occasions. Onwards and Upwards!
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:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016
Holy fucking shit. So, when I read this the first time, I wasnt impressed. Namely, because I didnt understand what you were trying to do here. I read bitterness, self-pity..and I was disgusted. When I heard the reading of it.. I was blown away. That's probably the best reading you've ever done. Just the right amount of sarcasm blended with an underlying tone of self-preservation and finished with something so real I could taste it.  I'm sorry I doubted you, I'm sorry I wasn't understanding enough to pick up on what you were trying to do, and christ am I sorry that you feel this way.  You're a diamond in a world full of glitter.  I'm simply blown away by how talented you are.
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Every single time I get a comment from you, my heart does this flip-flop, because your words always bulldoze me onto the floor, where I gasp and roll around and contemplate why such awesomeness is visiting my jaded, shady soul :rofl:. But welcome! I have nightlights, so never fear v_v. I am running on about three hours of sleep, so excuse me, but my adoration NEEDS to fly through the computer and smack you in the face... gently, of course. :hug:

No need to apologize! There were a few misunderstandings... and mostly I didn't have the energy to correct them all so I just said "yep," in a sense. It doesn't bother me! Art is subjective, and every person interprets them differently. But I have to admit... I was absolutely delighted that some people did get it... and even more, I was ecstatic it could be enjoyed. There's that term "in moderation" and sometimes I cross that line in my writing. So I'm never sure if I'm just beating a dead body with an angry mob behind me. I'm really relieved you didn't seem to think that was the case, here. Thank you so, so much! The fact you actually spent the effort and time to give it another look means the most. That blows me away. Thank you, again.

ALSO, please let my face cool down a bit. Too. many. super. nice. things. Goodness. You are so kind, and I am just a turtle rolling around on the floor trying to right myself. But, of course: turtle limbs are agonizingly short.
OKAY. I need more coffee.

In all seriousness... I appreciate your compliments so much. It pains me I can't fully accept all of them, but I respect and appreciate you, and I fiercely value what you say and think. So despite my incapability at times, it makes it that much more precious and special. Thank you. :rose:
You are a delight. I hope you're well! (: :rose::hug: Best wishes, as always, to you!
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:iconmozartsnemesis:
MozartsNemesis Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2016
well, it's certainly nice to know I can have that effect on you. *winks* All kidding aside, I kinda like being smacked. Lol. Okay, okay. Im serious now. I think you're one of the most beautiful souls I've ever met. I know it's hard for you to take compliments, not because you think I'm lying(or at least I hope you dont think that) but because it's so very hard for you to believe good things about yourself. Which makes the amount of love in your heart all the more surprising. I do have to say though, I feel like poetry bares the soul, and so by reading the poems you've created, we kind of do get a chance to see you naked...to see your soul bare, and for me, that is the sexiest kind of nakedness, because it has value..it is special. If I wanted to see naked girls, I'd go to a strip club. To see someones soul naked, that's a gift thats becoming more and more rare these days. K, so now that im done rambling, this was great and I hope to see more from you soon. ^.^ :hug: 
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Oh believe it, and bask. Also:A smack in  the face all you had to do was ask! Haha.

No, I don't think you're lying when you say those sorts of things; you were pretty spot on with the rest. Love is the only redeeming quality I can see, at the moment (not that I'm denying the rest: the rest is just a bit too shapeless to claim), so I try and fill myself with it, hold tight to it - all that jazz. Mostly because one day, when I can believe in more things and more people, I don't want to be disappointed in myself for abandoning it. Also, there's no point in living a life that doesn't have trust or love, because then aren't you just caged potential and dreams? That's too depressing to think about, I think. It's also no way to live. Temporarily maybe it serves a purpose, but it has no place for permanence. In my life, anyway. At least, I don't want it to. Maybe I don't know anything, and maybe that's just how the world works, but that's a desire I hold and will strive to fulfill.

As for sexy soul baring: I completely agree. Baring skin is the same with everyone... but to embrace and confront vulnerabilities... that is unique to each person, and it allows others to understand. I will never understand where vulnerability became a forbidden fruit. Not that I don't stick to those guidelines, too, mostly, when I can't guise it with the anonymity of the internet, but still. You have to wonder. When I see successful communication and "sharing," I kind of just gape. They're little unicorns. I am trying to become one, but maybe it takes time.

Feel free to ramble anytime! Obviously, I am cut from the rambling cloth ;) so it's not like I mind: you're speaking my language. And sure! Creativity has been a battle, so it may be a while, but hopefully the follow ups to this won't be too disheartening!
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:iconangelserum:
angelserum Featured By Owner Edited Apr 17, 2016
I love this hahaha :heart: It's got a bitter, sarcastic edge to it and it's so cleverly written because you're clever and a beautiful writer and person so I mean, figures, right? :heart:
*pounces on that soundcloud link* 
I'm also done with creepy old men. D.O.N.E. Marin (the county I live in) is full of them too. I guess they're just everywhere. I wish you the best of luck with that craziness :XD:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Edited Apr 18, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I like the name change! :hug: Though it did take me a minute to figure it all out, ha (:
Thanks so much!! I'm so happy you liked it! Because it was made from a bitter place, I wasn't really sure if it could offer enjoyment or not, so it's nice that it could!
Also, you are so, so nice, and I will keep you forever. :heart:
Right???? The funny thing (sarcasm) is that the day after this, another old guy came into my workplace and started checking me out, no shame, no morals, nothing. His eyes were just doing their elevator business, and I was sitting there like "uhm can I HELP you? Or punch you, because that'd be nice, too" when he started talking about my "Gappy clothes" and that I was hiding my body and how cute I would look in a dress and my hair done up with accessories. I wanted to say "I wasn't aware I needed your approval to look like the hobo I am trying to embody. Mainly because when I wear 'cute' clothes, I get a-holes like you who sexualize my body." Like, you're so entitled now that I can't wear "gappy clothes" (I was wearing freaking skinny jeans, for crying out loud. They were just the looser jegging kind) because it's an eyesore for you? Well, mister, your existence is an eyesore for me, but I don't see you doing anything about that.  Instead I just told him I didn't like dresses, and leveled him with the best glare I could. I like my job, don't get me wrong... but in all workplaces you have to be careful what you say.. because some are of the "the customer is ALWAYS right" mentality, and I am not eager to find out which mine is, because the job works so great with my schedule.

Anyway, longwinded ramble later: I'll reply to your other messages in a bit. Until then: I love your face, your creativity, and you are just a doll. Have a good day!
(maybe in our superhero squad we can just transport perverts into their own dimension? Sounds FANTASTIC to me. Let's add that to our skill list. Also, I cannot even imagine how it is for you. You know my town and how small it is T^T so I will pray to the superhero gods for you.)
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:iconangelserum:
angelserum Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2016
Thank you :heart: I just adore the word "cavalier." 
You are totally allowed to keep me forever.
UGHH what? Ew. I'm so sorry that there seem to be so many creeps around your workplace. Sucks that the job is so perfect but the people around the area aren't. :cry:
You handled it very well, though, and I'm proud of you for that :huggle:

Aw I love your face too. Plus, you're the sweetest. I hope you have a good day too! :love:
(yes. we definitely need to incorporate that into our list of powers. what would we call that fantastic move, though? creep-kicker? idk.
i don't socialize or go to many places around my county, and the town i live in is actually rather quiet, which is nice; i don't get as many creeps, i don't think. thanks though :heart:
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:iconbluelioneyes:
BlueLionEyes Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Is that your voice? So pretty :love:

Wonderful writing! :D
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
It is! :dummy: I'm glad you liked it; I normally struggle with readings.
Thank you so much, dearest! You're fabulous!
I hope you're having a great day! :rose::hug:
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:iconbluelioneyes:
BlueLionEyes Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Aww you're welcome! :glomp: My day is going well, and I hope yours is too :heart:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
IT IS A DELIGHT SO FAR! I have my coffee, and rainy skies, and beautiful tunes. And then of course your comment in my inbox~ :kiss:
Thanks so much! By the way, I saw your Instagram request (YOU ARE SUCH A CUTIE, MISS!). And maybe I'm being ridiculous (I've had about three hours of sleep), but I do believe you saying stuff like that was on your laptop?? Does that mean you found yours?? I really hope so! :heart:
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:iconbluelioneyes:
BlueLionEyes Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Ah yes! It magically appeared on my bed one day, in the box, all nice and wrapped up. :/

AND AWW THANK YOU <3 I could confirm it because I was briefly given a cell phone :XD:

Ooooh and I finally complete my super personal playlist, here is a link to my journal so you can read what I said about it first! bluelioneyes.deviantart.com/jo…
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Well, that's.... good? Although a bit perplexing. I'm so happy it was returned to you!
Haha well, I accepted it, so thanks! (:
OOOH GOODY! I'm excited. I'll pop on over in a bit~ :rose::heart: Thanks so much for sharing!!
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:iconbluelioneyes:
BlueLionEyes Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome, and thank you! :love: 
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:iconscribalwriter:
ScribalWriter Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2016   Traditional Artist
Listening to the reading was really quite amazing. I agree with the other comments - it was quite artistic in a real and frank sort of way that made it so enjoyable to read and listen to. Great piece, and I agree with you; I don't recall my grandfathers doing this (thank gods). Having a pamphlet ready to hand out would be infinitely hilarious and I full-heartedly support it. :heart:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my gosh, it made me so happy to see this comment! :glomp: I am so relieved and ecstatic the reading was a good experience for you, and that you liked my pamphlet idea :rofl:. I think it would be hilarious, too! If I ever have to do some experiment or presentation in college in regards to sex or something of that nature, I look forward to crafting something to appease that thought, haha (: with things that don't relate too much to me, of course, because I'd rather not air all my dirty laundry. But I enjoy tackling the more serious issues with some humor, even if some would consider that humor tasteless. Life is better when you can laugh about it, after all (:
Thanks, love! You're always a delight! I hope you are well! :rose:
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:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You may not feel beautiful, but you are- inside and out. :heart:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, love. :heart::huggle:
Have a lovely day!
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:iconladylincoln:
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome, honey. :heart:
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:iconmeubanks:
meubanks Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think this needs a mature content tag. It contains serious subject matter, but doesn't really fit the categories that "must" be tagged mature. When in doubt I normally tag things, because some of my stuff, though not explicit has an erotic tone. It's more out of respect for those who want to avoid that type of content than it is out of adherence t the rules though. It's a compromise that allows me to honor my work and my readers at the same time, if that makes sense.

I'm not going to say too much about this piece, except that I hope that you continue to heal, and that every day is a step on your journey toward wholeness.
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:iconmeubanks:
meubanks Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I wasn't making any assumptions about your piece, but I thought a measured response was preferable to an unintentionally insensitive one. I write a lot of self deprecating humor, but a lot of it goes over people's heads because it is subtle at times. No worries on the delayed response. I've got a bunch of projects due in the next week, so I understand busy. No worries on any tangents you want to wander off on either. It's your thread to begin with, so feel free to say whatever you want. lol.

Weather has definitely improved here. I'm well, except that my workload is a bit intense and my brain a bit mushy. I should get everything done in time though. :)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle: just because I can say anything I wish, doesn't necessarily mean I should. There's a time and place for everything... a mask and a skin for certain situations or people. I don't mean that in a negative way, per se, more in the practical sense: there are certain things better kept to oneself, sometimes. Who knows where I'm going with that thought, because it's not like I was hiding secrets in that particular comment.

I am so sorry to hear that! That sounds awful and stressful. Though, the fact you're feeling comfortable enough with the deadline is a relief, even if you have to pack your schedule in order to achieve that comfort. I definitely think you have the motivation and capabilities to do it! I headed one too many groups in school, which isn't really a good comparison, but when I felt overwhelmed, lining little things up helped. Grabbing my favorite beverage, putting on some motivating tunes, calling a favorite person during the downtime to refill my "I'm not the only one that thinks I can do this" bar... those sorts of things helped me a lot. I wish you luck in your endeavors. Not that you need little, naïve me preaching here, but sometimes it's nice to remember that sometimes even 80% looks like 100% to others. Not to say underachieving is the way to go, just that sometimes, when I did all I could, I still couldn't give my 100% but it ended up okay, anyway.
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:iconsublucidasidera:
SubLucidaSidera Featured By Owner Edited Apr 14, 2016  Student Writer
Everybody has a history, nobody could, or should, judge you for remembering yours. Scars and memory are nothing to be ashamed of, especially if they can be a reminder that you are entirely your own person, first and foremost.

As for your fingers being stolen? Isn't that the point of this whole messy business? Perhaps liberated would be a better word; saved from our own vices and used to save another.

I guess what I'm saying, Sunflower, is to just keep swimming, just keep swimming :heart:

(Oh, and don't bother replying to this, I know you're swamped!)
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Edited Apr 24, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, definitely keep swimming. Dory is my inspiration in all things, especially whale :giggle:.

It was more sarcasm. I mean, I did say some true things about my body, but I don't personally mind them. I'd just love if someone else could use it as a reason to mind them and then never want to get me naked, you know? I'd rather it was consensual and all that "boring" jazz of the "older generation."
Whoops. My bitter cynic is showing XD I'll go stuff her back in a closet.

Thanks, Thomas! I appreciate you, as always! You are the pb to my jam. But you have to be be pb... because I don't really like it. Jam/jelly all the way! But of course I would still like you... even if you became peanut butter. As long as I didn't have to, you know, eat you!
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:iconsublucidasidera:
SubLucidaSidera Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2016  Student Writer
Oh I've learned to love that bitter cynic, as you call her (especially when she turns that wonderful wit on her coworkers), so don't worry if she starts to get a little restless! Plus I'm basically an old man at heart already so any of your 'old fashioned' ideas will probably seem new-fangled and confusing to me anyway!

Basically I'm saying you're the scone to my tea, the goose-pimple to my inappropriate SpongeBob, the firework to my bonfire! Also I LOVE peanut butter so that's fine by me! :dummy:

I felt like replying to finally replying to this 'cos A. it's really cute and I adore it and B. my recording has been delayed by some stuff that I'll explain later.



Oh, and thanks for not eating me, always appreciated :heart:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Edited Apr 13, 2016  Professional Writer
I thought this was going to be something really stupid just from the title, but now I'm glad I read it because it's actually very artistic. :heart: Also I really wish I could help, but I'm dealing with some similar problems, but I hope things get better soon. :huggle:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
:rofl: oh my gosh, that opener made laugh! Ah, thank you haha. Don't worry: it's definitely stupid... and possibly too sarcastic and deflective to be considered art, but. I'm still grateful you read it and that you took the time to comment! Thanks! Your comment and you are appreciated! I hope you have a great day! :heart:::rose:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2016  Professional Writer
Sarcasm is good though. It can be an art, sometimes, maybe... :ninja: Haha, thanks, you too. c:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
If sarcasm could be qualified as art... you could be looking at the next Picasso!
... I will keep you. If you don't mind. :giggle:
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:iconkalinereine:
KalineReine Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2016  Professional Writer
:heart:
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