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2.     Do not choke yourself with
        the name of a murderer
        around your neck.

        Instead, let it in.
        Give it the chance to testify,
        because more than likely:
        it will understand.

        It will tell you we all must
        kill something which we love.
        But do not let it give you its name:
        you, white rabbit girl, grow
        too attached (too fast),
        and you do not yet know
        the angle at which to break
        snowcapped knuckles into
        letting go.

3.     Open your chest like
        dislocated jaws swallowing
        down the ends of
        an autumn-yawn -

        bring the opera to life
        as you howl to the spirits
        webbed down into
        each depressive chair like
        a full and heavy moon -

        fish out the dead parts of
        yourself like a triple-scoop special
        and serve it to the first
        open-chested beggar
        who asks for compassion -

        and it's okay to lose your mind
        between your fingers;
        but form your single bed into
        graveyard shovels, so you will not
        look back again.
(in chronological order? but perhaps not)

I'm not sure what to do with this, so into the gallery it goes! I'll just forget I wrote it if I leave it be.
I'm more than open to suggestions: this piece, as is, is a little sad. But as stated: I'll try and fix it when I have the time/inspiration!
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2015-07-29
In Which I Tell Myself To (1) Survive by Nullibicity uses clever structure and incredible imagery to deliver a potent reminder that sometimes we have to embrace our ugly sides. ( Featured by LiliWrites )
:iconlilfixit:
lilfixit Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
I like this.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
I'm glad you do! I do, a little bit, too! :dummy:
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:icondreamamongstars:
DreamAmongStars Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Aww congrats on the DD! I'm glad you're doing better, and I'm so proud of how far you've come (both with poetry, and with mental health)! Keep rockin!

(Also I'm slowly getting through your and Sam's poems so bear with me as I gush)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, dearheart. I adore you, and your congratulations means more than most. Just thanks so much for always supporting us both, and for always making me smile! I am always here for you, love. Don't be afraid to call me if you need me. :heart:
I hope you've been well!
(and please, take your time. There is no rush or obligation.)

Much love and best wishes to you! You're wonderful! :love::hug:
Reply
:iconcristinewakesuphappy:
cristinewakesuphappy Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:iconluvluvplz:
:iconcongratsdd1plz::iconcongratsdd2plz::iconcongratsdd3plz:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so, so much! :love::heart:
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm quite surprised to find that people don't like poems that are hard to understand or use so much imagery that they cant put the poem together, that's the best kind in my opinion xD it's like surreal art, you'll hardly find the original meaning unless the artist explain themselves. that's the whole point, to be obscure and make viewers think :D that aside, i love the poem and i love how it made me think about what you were trying to say :D i've just noticed recently that a lot of people dont like that and im not sure why lol
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I left this in my inbox for a bit, but it's because I was so appreciative. Literally, you are one of the few who have actually expressed what I think my style is: surrealism through an onslaught of imagery. I don't want to hand someone a direct meaning, because if they can morph it to fit with their life? I feel instantly better. Words can be salves and bandages and silent friends, etc. I am not expressing myself well at all, and I am so sorry, but I just think you are so lovely, and I'm so grateful for you for leaving this comment.
I'm not a very good artist, I suppose, because I'm quite sensitive to critique. However, I am happy to keep improving where I can. I suppose I'm just so happy and relieved someone could see I'm not trying to be a professional... I'm just trying to record my life and spark some imagination while I do it.

Thank you so much. I'm sorry I can't explain how much I appreciated this comment, and you. I hope you have a lovely day! :sun:
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I also left this here so i could come up with a good reply haha! But yes i totally agree! the whole point of poetry is to create an image with words, to expand into creative depths that have yet to be explored. it's not a research paper or essay where you say exactly what you mean :P if you give a cryptic line, it can be turned into individual interpretations. if there is only one meaning for all, if it's just a line of facts or plain thoughts, you take out the subjectivity of art. art is meant for various interpretations, so how can you interpret something objective such as "the earth is round?" there is no other way of getting around that, it's a fact lol. but lines like
 
        Open your chest like
        dislocated jaws swallowing
        down the ends of
        an autumn-yawn -


i have to think about what that means lol it could be personal, it could be about autumn or you could just be using autumn in reference to something else. That, Nullibicity, is the epitome of poetry :) that is what poetry is. that's what art is! you are a true artist, as you've been able to see that words are also art and ought to be subjective just as a painting. art isn't about being a pro or even having good artistic skills, if you can say what you want to say and say it the way you want to say it through some creative means such as painting or writing, you're one of the best artists there is ^^ im glad that there are others out there who see the beauty in cryptic imagery and surrealism !

i hope you have a lovely day! :heart:
Reply
:icondarkheartlace:
DarkHeartLace Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful. This poem is telling me to let go of self hate, confide in others, and be the best someone that be (even if I can never be the best).
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
First of all, your profile picture is so gosh darn cute it makes me smile every time I look at it :giggle:.

As for your comment, thank you so much for leaving me one! You are lovely, and I am super appreciative for the feedback! To hear, also, the message you got from it... it just makes me so happy! "Be the best you that you can be" is something I tell myself often, and to hear that was translated to someone... it makes me ecstatic!

Thanks so much for sharing your opinion, dearheart, and for your time! I'm sure you're busy! And I also wanted to say that every person deserves love and decency and happiness. So while I don't know you, you do deserve good things. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a gift to someone, and I hope you are (or if not now, then someday very soon) treasured for the wonderful soul you are. :heart: :heart: 

Best wishes, love! I hope you have a magnificent day~ Love The Sunshine 
Reply
:icondarkheartlace:
DarkHeartLace Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww thank you so much for such a nice reply :) Keep on writing, you've got real talent.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You are such a sweetheart :stare:.
Thank you so very much! :tighthug::heart: I really appreciate all your kind words (: they mean so much! If you ever want to talk to someone, know my inbox is always open! However, if our paths never cross again then please just let me say that you are so lovely, and that you deserve good things. I hope you have a fantastic day, love! :rose:
Reply
:iconvampricfaerygirl:
VampricFaeryGirl Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This absolutely deserves a daily deviation. This deserves publication. Stunning.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're too darn nice, girl! :tighthug: But really: thank you. I'm so grateful for your time and for your comment. I'm really happy this could sit well with you and that you could find some enjoyment in it. That means a lot to me! :heart:
Have a lovely day, dearheart! I hope the sun shines happy and bright for you! :sun::rose:
Reply
:iconsublucidasidera:
SubLucidaSidera Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Student Writer
CONGRATULATIONS SUNFLOWER!! :heart: :heart:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so much, Thomas. It really means a lot! :hug::heart:
Reply
:iconpoeticwar:
PoeticWar Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015   Writer
Hi.

There are a couple nice things here. 'Snowcapped knuckles' for one. In general, though, the tone & phrasing methodology veer too close to oddly didactic/advice-giving tropes reminiscent of pop lyrics. The metaphorical palette, while full of imaginative twists and turns, is too diverse and diffuse, and some of the choices too outlandish and cartoonish (chest/dislocated jaws which is still further confused by the 'ends' of 'autumn-yawn' - I mean, whut?). In general attend to unsubstantiated abstractions and instances of statement (the old tell v show hoo-ha). Currently they're leading you into vague & generalised phrases and a myriad of clichés (see final tercet for instance). 

Still, there's a pleasing sort of voice undergirding much of the poem. Would definitely make for some pleasing lyrics. Best of luck with it.
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Edited Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Hello! Thank you so very much, firstly, for putting so much thought and care into this critique you so eloquently fashioned! It means so much to me to have a critique that outlines specific areas or flaws, so I may try my best to grow from them, since I often times am not very gifted in pinpointing my weak areas. This was just marvelous to have received, and I do really hope my gratitude can be felt!

This piece savors of advice because it was a letter I wrote to myself in a time that required me to move forward, but where I was feeling mentally incapable of doing that. One of my coping mechanisms is to plan out every detail of a solution (or to make to-do lists) for the things that are bothering me, so this piece was a to-do list meant to shove my excuses off a cliff and to hopefully spark something that would aid me in picking myself up by the bootstraps and moving on. The line about chest/dislocated jaws "swallowing down the ends of an autumn-yawn" is because my mouth opens widest when my soft palate lifts, which also happens in the act of swallowing. Autumn is a symbol sometimes for death, and so it was supposed to be a reminder no matter how much death or blows you feel or face, to keep your heart open to generosity and to love. But I will agree it was vague, and that was my mistake.

As for being reminiscent of hip-hop lyrics, I re-read this piece a few times with your critique in mind, and I ultimately had to agree that it was a bit cliché in the fact there are a lot of art pieces nowadays with the content of "self lessens" or "self instruction." I will try and craft more originality in the future. The ending I will admit to be cliché, too, and I didn't put much thought into it at the time. Perhaps I will remove the final stanza, and then from there I may either rectify other parts of this piece, or simply carry your lovely input to future pieces. Either way, I was so very appreciative. You brought up valid points and emphasized them with pieces from the poem, and I think overall it was a lovely critique. Thank you so much for your time!  
Reply
:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
This is a very good critique. :) 
Reply
:iconrhyn-art:
Rhyn-Art Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015   General Artist
Congratulations on your amazing DD :heart:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so very much for your amazing words! :love:
I really appreciate the time you took to leave them here (:
Please have a lovely day, and I hope it brings much happiness!
Reply
:iconrhyn-art:
Rhyn-Art Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015   General Artist
You're most welcome! x
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:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Student Writer
Utterly love the (anti-)structure in this. And the piece in general; feels like a great fusion between performance ethos and lyrical language :clap:

(I know the terseness of this comment is nothing compared to the masterpieces you leave on my own work, but I felt I had to congratulate you on your DD. So great to see you get one :tighthug:)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, please do not apologize at all! You have this talent with words that you can say so, so very much in so little because you meticulously select each word for meaning. That, I think, is something admirable, and it also gives your comments a pretty big punch! I'm afraid I don't say too much in these novels I tend to write, which is something I'm trying to work on!
Firstly, thank you so much! I just appreciate your time so much, as I know you fly around the community like a literary superman :love:. Secondly, I'm sorry I have been absent from your gallery for a while. I've lost some of my words, and so even commenting feels like a half-done job if I cannot put my entire mind into what I'm saying. Because of this loss, I was very surprised to see this DD in my inbox. I'm so grateful, but I also hope that flickering spark did not grow a feeling of injustice in readers. Anyway, I know you were not bringing up your work to prod me, I just was stating that because it has been my intention to keep returning and leaving comments! I just want to make sure my words are selected well and thoughtfully! So when that happens, you can be sure I'll be leaving some comments.

I'm just going to hug you, because I enjoy you, but also because you are the most thoughtful commenter I've seen. Thanks for all that you do, and have a remarkable day! :hug::rose:
Reply
:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Student Writer
"fly around the community like a literary superman" THAT is going on my quote wall :XD:

:tighthug:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:rofl: hey, I'm just glad to help where I can!
Just know that by coming out as superman like Tony Stark came out as Iron Man... you may need some backup, so call me if you ever need help in kicking evil bad guys to the curb! superblankle 
But really, I'm glad you could enjoy it :hug:
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:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Student Writer
:XD:  Of course
Reply
:iconcomatose-comet:
comatose-comet Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
CONGRATULATIONS my favourite Kelsi!! This is so beautiful and so deserving of a DD - enjoy every moment :heart: :hug: :rose:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Kelsey, thank you so much! Your words are always so very warm, and you always bring a smile to my face! I'm quite grateful for both ;)
I'm really happy you could enjoy my writing, though I know I have a long, long ways to go. Overall, I just adore you and I was very happy to see your username in my inbox. I do hope you've been well, lovely, and please know I continue to wish the best for you! :heart:
I hope your inner writer has been playing nice lately, and I just hope you've been able to enjoy yourself! Hopefully today will bring more opportunities for smiles and for love to enter your life~ :sun::love:
Reply
:iconcomatose-comet:
comatose-comet Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
you are just too cute this message melted my heart aaaah! :heart::hug: I am well and getting back in the swing of writing again, it's so good to be back on dA and to catch up with such talented people - look at you! You can always improve but you should always remember how far you've already come and honestly I really do adore your writing :rose: Be proud! And I hope you have a wonderful, fantastic day because you so deserve it :la:
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:backhug: I'm super happy you could enjoy these words I write. Seriously, thank you for sharing that. Sometimes I just look at my words and gah, it never ends well. I'm trying to just relax more and go with the flow! (:
I'm so happy your writing is coming back to you, as well as some of the friends that reside here! That's fantastic! Whether you need breaks in the future (sometimes dA can be a bit exhausting and draining), just know I'm always here for the lovely dovely Kelseys of the world! Us Kels people have to stick together! :giggle::heart: :heart: 
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:iconnosedivve:
nosedivve Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015   Writer
Hey, congrats on the DD! :hug:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Shay, thanks so very much. It truly means a lot!
Honestly I am quite grateful for the honor, but I hope I didn't disappoint anyone too bad. Truly. I still have a lot I need to improve upon.
I really appreciate you, and I hope you've been positively wonderful! Since you are so generous and remarkable, you deserve nothing less! :heart:

My best wishes are always with you, and I hope you have a ton of smiles packed into your day today! :rose:
Reply
:iconnosedivve:
nosedivve Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2015   Writer
You're more than welcome!! :tighthug:

Hey, it's okay! All writers have a lot to improve upon. :hug:

Back at ' cha, lovely. :heart: 

(sorry this reply was so brief!)
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:iconkultasuoni:
kultasuoni Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Student Photographer
Very nice...:-)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I really appreciated this comment! Thanks for the time you took to leave it! :love:
I hope you have a marvelous day! :rose::sun:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Congrats on the DD! :DALove: by Ikue
Have a nice day! :love: by CookiemagiK
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, lovely :rose::heart:
Your comment is deeply appreciated.
Have a positively radiant day, love!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
It was my pleasure reading your poem and i am glad it's on the spotlight! 5 seconds hug by Bad-Blood
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You are like the loveliest person ever :heart::tighthug:
Thanks, again!
Reply
:iconlintu47:
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
You're too kind :huggle:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
5 seconds hug :heart: :heart: 
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:icondima210:
Dima210 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2015
Muddy prose, contrived subject, disappointing
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:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I really appreciate your honesty on this piece! If you do have anything further to say, I'd love to hear it; if not, I'm still grateful to have received this feedback, as I think I'm definitely far from perfect, and I have a lot I need to improve upon.
I don't know if it helps anything, but the artificial feeling you speak of may have just been purposeful when I originally wrote it, as I was telling myself to continue moving forward in something I wanted to remain stagnant in. I'm a firm believer in the phrase "fake it 'till you make it" and that probably translated here. I am sorry to have disappointed you. I will see if I cannot improve more in the future!
Reply
:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Student Writer
I appreciate the audacity and bravery to say your opinion despite its bluntness, but I think I agree with ssensory in asking what the specific downfalls of the piece are in your opinion =P
Reply
:iconnosedivve:
nosedivve Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015   Writer
I understand that's criticism, but why don't you be helpful if you think it's not good enough? 
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:iconlunar-glow:
lunar-glow Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015
Well that's interesting...
It's 1 in the morning, and I'm up thinking my complicated thoughts again... so naturally I fled to the beauty of my favorite authors, and like magic this particular poem put some of my thoughts to words (and then some, of course). The funny thing is that I'm certain I've read this before... but it's different now.
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconnullibicity:
Nullibicity Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I did have a couple different words in this when it was originally posted - maybe even an extra sentence in the (2) section. I actually wanted to edit it, so I indulged my critic and fixed some things. I personally enjoy it more, now, but maybe that's just me :giggle:.
Thank you, lovely, for even coming to read my works. It's such an incredible honor to hear my words hold a special place in your heart! :tighthug:

(or if you ever go on the site oneword, I post some stuff there, because that's where I feel like I can truly write anything and not worry about quality or quantity, which gives way to more artistic freedom - and expression! The (3) section is from there, so perhaps you may have encountered it there? Who knows! Either way, thanks for your time! :heart:)
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:iconlunar-glow:
lunar-glow Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2015
I'd never heard of oneword, so I checked it out. It seems cool, so now I have one. I tried finding you, but I wasn't successful. I don't know if you want to be found, but would it be okay if I asked for your username? I'm relativelytheoretical, or Emily, whichever shows up.
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