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Title: Nearly There Nicely
Author: Elle Doki
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Once upon a time, in a tiny kingdom, there was a prince who had a best friend. In time, the prince became king, and when he did, he made his best friend the grand duke. This story is not about either of them. It's about the grand duke's son who was forgotten.


The city is actually the royal city, of a pretty tiny country. No one pays it any mind though. It's not in any strategic points of interest on the landscape. On one side it has a small bay, perfect for trading, and on the other, are tall steep mountains. The kingdom only ranges a few hundred miles in size between the bay and the mountains. The royal city is located inland of the bay, so it has no harbor itself. However the city slums run-on and connect it to the next town at the harbor, making it seem like one large city.


The King does good in making sure all the neighboring countries are welcomed with open arms and diplomacy flows well. The Grand Duke helps with this, accommodating any guests into fine mansions and manors while they visit. In the center of the city is the palace, up long flat stairs, where the entrance has a fountain where people can sit on the edges while waiting to meet up with friends and family. The southwest leads to the slums, and then the harbor, where lots of trade happens. The northern areas of the city are left to the richer folk, and those who actually live within the city. One of the best places for a quiet stroll is in the northwestern park, where a large maple is surrounded by cherry trees and small fir.


Shrouded in mystery there is a world we fail to see- to acknowledge. Where life and death exist together. Though I know little of it. It's just a rumor I heard.


On a bright clear afternoon, a young man was walking down a busy line of shops. It was slightly cold, but not enough that he needed a jacket. He was dressed in slacks with a button up shirt and a vest over it. The collar around his neck was mostly decoration, but it served to keep his neck warm, while his pink hair had nothing on it. It was simply curled into a few locks, sticking to his cheeks and between his eyes. In his arms he carried a small white box; a package of pastries he'd bought from a previous shop.


Everyone knew about it. And because everyone knew, if I ever said anything about it, they responded appropriately. Telling me it was a dream I'd had.


Since he'd finished buying what he came into town for, Will was on his way back to the manor. A large fancy manor owned by the Grand Duke. Passing a few shops, Will glanced down a dim alley way. His eye had been caught by a silver glowing light down it. Interested, he went down the alley. As he came closer to the light, the sounds of the street behind him became quieter and he could make out the front of the small eerie shop.


Hanging from an iron pole on the wall was a strange flat triangular design that lit up the entrance. Hanging from the pole was a simple plaque for the store's name. The storefront had a large gothic window with three smaller windows framed within, each with diamond bars running through them. The door was large and wooden, with iron swirling details that mimicked vines.


Will tilted his head to the side, sure he'd never seen this store before. Curious as to what they sell, and since he still needed a gift for his father's birthday tomorrow, he opened the door and peeked in.


It doesn't look like anyone's here... Will thought as he looked over the shelves of books and mysterious bottles from the doorway.


Suddenly, a blond popped up from next to the front desk, smiling to him. “Oh! What a cute human!”


As her hand reached for him, all Will could think was, Did she say...human?


“Come on in, cutie pie!” She exclaimed excitedly, dragging Will into the shop without so much as a second thought. She smiled, her long blond hair framed her white skin and yellow eyes. She gestured to the wares saying, “We don't get very many humans wandering in here... Let alone cute little boys like you!” She smiled sweetly, matching her rosy perfume that came wafting to Will. Her voice was clear and seductive, yet very businesslike. She was flirting with him just for business. “Welcome to the Threshold store, Nocturne.”


Will raised a brow, holding his box of pastries close to his gut. “Threshold?” His blue eyes studied her as he thought. What's this crazy sexy chick babbling about-- and why does she have elf ears on?!


Standing so close to her, the smell of roses was strong. Growing. Stronger, and stronger. Will couldn't even smell the pastries in his arms now.


I think I fell into a rabbit hole. Crap!!


And then, Will fainted.

:orange: Welcome to any new readers! I hope you enjoyed what you read and are curious to continue reading perhaps. Please note that this story is the first of which I had written in a while. The pace is long, and is not meant to be a short-story. The pace improves around ch8-ch10, and picks up momentum as the story progresses.
Ch1 is honestly, pretty choppy and poorly written and I am aware of that.

The story right now is currently over 45 chapters long of varying lengths.

:boing: The other chapters are on :devart: and here's the link to their gallery folder: [link]
I also have a dA journal with the chapters organized, if you're interested: [link]
:boing: Tumblr!! and Official Main site!
You can see art I've drawn of my boys here [link].

This is a boy’s love story, though it’s currently meant to be just a story of the circumstances around them. I can’t explain it well, but it’s not about them having sex or getting together to have sex.








**************
Nearly There Nicely~
Text version to go with the comic I'm... slowly working on. nearlythere.thecomicseries.com… *not right now though*


Not planning to use it to get out of a writing block. But that's what I'm in right now @.@; That's why it's... insanely rough.
EDIT:7/3/15- Updated with typos removed.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconorcha3000:
Orcha3000 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
when it says "runon" its actually "run on".
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014   Writer
Actually I think it's a hyphenated phrase.. Since it's not "run on", it's "run-on".
Reply
:iconspeedyalchemist:
SpeedyAlchemist Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

This is looking good, I love your premise!! :la:

 

I would suggest setting the atmosphere more, like, you have everything laid out very exact so I would just give it a better flow and expand it more.  Show the audience more details, what does the castle look like for example.  And more description for the characters, a characteristic about their face or something that makes them unique in appearance. =)

 

Dawww Will is already my favorite, I can tell he's gonna be in a lot of situations cause of this girl.  Love it. :giggle:

Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013   Writer
:rofl: Yeah it's a pretty weird first chapter. I have to do something about it but I'm still not sure what... I think I'll finish the story first and see if I want to change it. Cause details come later, and the first chapter is more of a hook than a 'take all this info and eat it up RIGHT now' :rofl:
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

This is a little choppy like yous said, but no where as bad as I thought it would be. 


I like how you are setting things up. It kinda reminds me of the Diskwrold Books. 


You do plan to fix this up right? It would be a shame if you don't. 



Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013   Writer
I do hope to fix it up sooner or later. My plan right now is to finish writing the story before going back to fix things.
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ok. 
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013   Writer
If you didn't notice, there are more chapters up. If you care to read them, of course.
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow.. 38. You had these writen before you posted on mass didn't you?

No... I went back to check the dates. This is an old story. For some reason I thought it was new.

Ok...but why aren't they linked?
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013   Writer
lol Noooooo. They weren't written on mass. I actually post them as I write them. I'm just now slowly submitting them to groups and stuff.

I am in the habit of organizing my stuff in my journals- it was much easier to read when the [link] was still there. This story does have it's own Folder in the dA gallery system :3

Do you think I should link them, or mention in the comments that it's a long story- or at least link to the folder?
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I think you should say something.

I read the summery and replied to you based on what I read and it came off as newly posted story that hadn't moved beyond chapter 1 yet.

And even though the [link] doesn't look like this anymore, it's still there. :)

I saw that they were in a folder after I sent the comment since you used a list way of showing it that I didn't see right away.
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2013   Writer
Yeah I see what you mean. I just edited some and adjusted where things were in the discription for this chapter, so hopefully it looks more obvious now that there's more than just 1 chapter ^^

I didn't really like what they looked like as full gallery folders, since they're all just writing pieces. But the list view is extremely tiny thanks to dA changing their layouts around lately e.e;
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconanimemanic1615:
Animemanic1615 Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
It's as wolf says. Though, I'm really curious as to what Will has just walked into. it doesn't seem like danger now... But it's definitely an option! Thank god there's a part two.
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012   Writer
:excited: excited for you~
Reply
:icondemonwolfhuntress:
DemonWolfHuntress Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012
Interesting intro. I don't think that it needs anything before the "shrouded in mystery" italics part. That's the part that really caught my eye.
Your descriptions aren't bad, but I do have a question: what kind of world is this? Is it medieval, more modern, futuristic? Keep in mind what kind of world you are building and make sure your dialogue matches appropriately.
Really interesting though. I really like the quick "catcher" at the beginning. I feel as though this is going to be a fast paced story. I can't wait to continue reading.
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012   Writer
Yeah I'm not sure about it being fast-paced.
I have a bad tendancy to give too much information or too little about things x_x
Reply
:icondemonwolfhuntress:
DemonWolfHuntress Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012
Well like I said, there is too much info at the beginning that you really don't need. If you start where I suggested, you have an opening tag line that makes the readers sort of gasp in surprise and go in to eat it up. You can only ever give too much information if you simply tell the reader what's going on. If you lead the reader into it, then you shouldn't have a problem. I look forward to reading your other chapters~
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012   Writer
Yea, that's very true. Some of the starting chapters end up just having background or world info that isn't usually needed for the story to progress but helps give a feel or set-up?
I used to just drop that information in it's own deviations, so I dunno how that insanity happened @.@
Reply
:icondemonwolfhuntress:
DemonWolfHuntress Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012
XD well sometimes you get so excited about a story that you just want to let people have it all in one bite. I've done it. There's nothing to be ashamed of there~
Just remember to pull back when you can and use the "show, don't tell" method. You'll drive your readers up the wall but you'll keep them reading XD.
Reply
:iconnostalgicroxas:
NostalgicRoxas Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2012   Writer
I do so much of the "show, don't tell" as is, if you haven't noticed yet XD
Reply
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