NonbinaryPixel

Xǐquè - Identity Dark lilies sprout from my spirit, outwards onto my body. Transformed, I no longer have wings for flight, But I have no need for flying when time is ephemeral. To some I am but a story of a bridge that unites lovers. To my sole companion, I am the same as I always have been; A clever creature that knows the truth of myself. What is myself? I am not a being made of feathers, I am a mind beneath an intimidating countenance. What lingers in my mind, is mine alone to know. To walk or to fly accomplishes the same goal. I know my path, and it is forward. Yet my roots tangle those steps. I seek to cleave myself from parts of the past, so the present is all I see. Yet my initial rejection of change trespasses into the notes that create me. I know who my self is, the core of my being is certain. I am not more than what I was. Nor am I less. Yet I am different. There is an ache to the difference, But it has shifted where it holds to, A burn, yes, but one that ignites my

Last time the two spoke, X had received interesting insight about its own biome from its creation, Panteleimon. From the beginning, X had existed, far before there was such a thing as developed biomes.  It had often felt left behind, the odd one out. Yet, that little fungus morph they had made, Telei, had given an interesting perspective. Not necessarily an entirely new perspective, for X had considered such a notion before, yet X had dismissed the thought when met with no similar opinions. Now, X was considering the idea with greater consideration, which brought another thought to mind. Though it hated how it seemingly relied on others to exist, X found others’ ideas more compelling than its own.  But Telei had echoed a long dismissed thought, and now it wandered through X’s mind. For all intents and purposes, X seemed to rely on humans to exist. But did X truly? X had been there from the beginning, so developed biomes had always been meant to exist. But did that mean humans were

One moment, they were a living, breathing human. The next, they were something else. They didn’t know their name, the first realization of many. They didn’t know their loved ones’ names either, yet they remembered every moment with them, though not where those moments had been.  It was like something had taken a pen and crossed out every detail of their memories that made things personal. Could they miss what they didn’t know? The philosophical part of them had always thought that memories made a person who they were. If their memories held none of the right details, then they were hardly the same person. They were new, then.  And to let go, it felt like a relief. They did not remember names, but they remembered the overarching feeling of depression.  But they didn’t feel it themself now. They had been born from the human they remembered, but they weren’t the same, and it felt like finding peace and victory all at the same time. “Have you gathered yourself then?” a voice asked

“Your biome, as well as the bit of biome you gave to me… I hear it’s sometimes called developed, colloquially. What does it mean for a biome to be ‘developed’, to your understanding?” Telei asked their much taller creator. X had quickly learned this little fungi morph they had created enjoyed talking. More than that, the little esk known as Panteleimon enjoyed talking to X. They sought it out to converse with, even. “Developed biomes are built upon humanity’s creations,” X began, then paused. In truth, that was where the explanation generally both started and ended, for most esk. But, somehow it doubted Telei would be satisfied with that.  Telei tilted their head, the dandelion leaves poking out atop that feature of theirs tilting as well. “But you were here before the humans were, weren’t you,” and it was not a question. X had not told them that. But Telei sought out other conversation partners too, part of why X remained so surprised they returned to it like this to speak. “If

Before Panteleimon was an esk, there was a human that became them. This is not the story of that human, but that human matters nonetheless for the explanation of Panteleimon’s purpose.  The human that would become Panteleimon, they often felt adrift and without purpose. They didn’t believe in any such thing as inherent purposes. Telei doesn’t even now. Our purpose is whatever we decide it is, in Telei’s opinion. But that meant deciding on a purpose was key, and the human prior to Telei could not decide. When they tried to settle on one, their mind told them they couldn’t. After all, how could they be able to have a purpose when they could barely do anything? They felt useless. Seven years had passed since the emergence of their depression at that point. It had as strong symptoms as ever and no amount of prescribed medication given to that human was enough to make them feel anything approaching okay. Oftentimes, they weren’t even certain how they should define ‘feeling okay’ by that

She remembered wishing to be with her family, as her lungs filled with water and she thrashed and flailed, searching for the way back to them, entirely unsure which way was up or down with the storm blocking light from reaching the deep ocean. The world became darker and darker. And then… Suddenly, she was not drowning, but she was not breathing either. Suddenly she could see, but the world was different. And though she knew she was human, with a human family, she could not remember much at all about them. Not their names or their look.  Then she realized she only half remembered her own name. She would say it was on the tip of her tongue, but she was fairly sure she lacked a mouth, for all that she had a face. Her name was… Was it the sound of a ‘c’ or a ‘k’? Perhaps it was a ‘k’, but she spent too long on this, because when she tried to find the rest of it, she knew it wasn’t right, not entirely. But half-right was better than not right at all. Kore. That’s who she was, at least

“Ran, I have a question.” It was Orion, again. He looked perhaps a touch anxious, but a different kind of anxiety than his usual.  Usually, when Orion felt anxiety, everything about him seemed quickened. He existed in a heightened state of awareness, and everything was all too much for him. Right now, as opposed to a quickened way of existence, he seemed slowed. As if he felt hesitant, perhaps. Instead of responding, Ran simply waited patiently. He already knew he could ask her questions, and if she was to offer him an easy out by speaking up now, then she might be setting him back.  Though he had been doing mostly well lately, she knew healing was not linear. She had agreed to help him with his healing and to do that meant not giving the easy way out, at times. After a pause, he finally spoke up again. “You don’t like talking.” Ran waited for the question part for a bit longer, then she realized that he seemed to be expecting a reply this time. “That was a statement, not a

The winds whispered his name, coaxing him towards some unknown, away from his forest. The trespasser’s flexible tail gave an annoyed swish. In truth, he had a guess with what the direction was, and it was a place far less unknown than he would have preferred.  His name passed through the wind once more, and he wanted to follow the source simply to destroy whatever it was that called for him. And that was a thought, wasn’t it?  At last, he allowed his gaze to swing in the direction of the call, the wind whispered a note that sounded akin to sigh of relief. Like an unburdening. And Kazik hated it, and he would be glad to burden whatever it was that called him further, but he would not give away the game yet. He prowled from the forest that hosted his bower towards the town where he had once been happily in love, another lifetime ago. Until he had been betrayed, an even sorer subject lately than ever before, after he had met the esk empty of any memory of being his beloved. Who had

At Crossroads … A vision glimmered before their eyes, A demon, some might hypothesize. The human who saw this asked instead, “Do you know what happens when I’m dead?” The Wanderer was not used to coherency, From one so lost as this one must be, After all, to be able to see, Required a certain quality. X was used to setting the scene, When a human entered the between. So, caught off guard, it shook its head. It did not know about the true dead. Saccharine voice did cloy the mind, “If afraid of death, you may find Interesting our offered deal, No longer time you’d have to steal-” The human laughed much to their bemusement. Usually immortality was not met with amusement. “If you’re offering me a chance to live… It’s ironic timing, so forgive My laughter, it was not meant in spite, But I intend to give up that fight.” X was quiet as X did think, About how to sign the deal with ink, Though not looking to stay alive, Perhaps something else may strive To interest this challenge, in this