Noire-Ighaan's avatar

Mirage Noir: Story Synopsis

By Noire-Ighaan
116 Favourites
200 Comments
8K Views
Since some people wanted to know something about the story here is a short synopsis :)
Man that was hard to write it without revealing all the important events that are occurring in the novel O_o
..and yes, all the other characters are met by Vesper on his journey

EDIT: Any grammar nazis around here? :) I'm 100% sure that I made some mistakes, but I'm unable to spot them. Please help me :)
IMAGE DETAILS
Image size
1000x1636px 2.16 MB
Published:
© 2012 - 2020 Noire-Ighaan
Comments200
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
LotusBlossomArts's avatar
Line 3: "... searching for her familar [,] finds a strange...."
Um, I'm fairly certain on line 5, who should be whom.
"... worn out man, [whom] needed immediate medical support."
Line 6 and 7: "Ignoring her common sense [,] she takes him to her place, and does her best healing his wounds...."
Line 8: "Back then [,] little did she know..."
Line 10: "Vienna, the wheat-haired white witch [,] saved the life..."
Line 12: "As it occurred later [I think ,] the white haired man [,] named Vesper [,]
Line 14 and 15: "... regain his memories [,] but he strongly refused [,] fearing..."
Line 16: [Remove Especially and from] "Since the beginning of their meeting [,]..."
Line 17 and 18: "Days were slowly passing by [,] turning into months [,] and eventually years."
Line 22: ".... between Vesper and Vienna tightens [,] ...."
Line 24: *Unfortunately ".... past finally gets in the way [,] ...."
Line 26: ".... world falls apart [,] and Vesper will...."
Line 27: *Decisions
Line 32: ".... pretty as it seems [,] ...."

T-That was everything I found! I might've messed up a few things here and there, but I tried my b-best! The story's really good so far!!!
Noire-Ighaan's avatar
Thank you so much! You're awesome!
LotusBlossomArts's avatar
I'm a writer and I go crazy when I see mistakes ^^" Sorry... :,D
Noire-Ighaan's avatar
Yeah, I would be like that too, but I'm not anative english speaker ;_;
Would you like to do some beta reading for my story? :D
LotusBlossomArts's avatar
S-Sure! I'm not perfect with grammar, but I'll try my best! TTvTT)9
Noire-Ighaan's avatar
You are certainly better than me ^^
sisi4321's avatar
That sounds interesting! I bet your very talented at flash games
Noire-Ighaan's avatar
AruuYuda's avatar
Io-Ren's avatar
Sorry, the other comment was unclear because of the symbols, Now it's fixed.
Well, i could fix some sentence structures: some sentences look a bit confusing-here's what i spotted unless i'm wrong:
Go throw rocks at me. UvU

Key:[Remove_]->To remove something
       (Add_)->To add something
       .....->Continues
       {_}->Just a notif

Mirage Noir
Story Synopsis
Temere Mundi, Winter evening

A young local....{Line 1}
Line 3:While searching for her familiar(Add comma)(Add She finds) a strange glade....
Line 7:And does her best[remove comma](Add ; ) healing his wounds and frostbites....
Line 8: Back then(Add comma)....
Line 14:Vienna offered to help him regain his memories(add comma) but...

That's all I could find ;) (Wink)
Hope it helped!
There are no spelling errors i could find! :) (Smile)

Really great story!
Io-Ren's avatar
Well, i could fix some sentence structures: some sentences look a bit confusing-here's what i spotted unless i'm wrong:
Go throw rocks at me. UvU

Key:[Remove_]->To remove something
       (Add_)->To add something
       .....->Continues
       {_}->Just a notif

Mirage Noir
Story Synopsis
Temere Mundi, Winter evening

A young local....{Line 1}
Line 3:While searching for her familiar(Add comma)(Add She finds) a strange glade....
Line 7:And does her best[remove comma](Add ;) healing his wounds and frostbites....
Line 8:Back then(Add comma)....
Line 14:Vienna offered to help him regain his memories(add comma) but...

That's all I could find ;)
Hope it helped!
There are no spelling errors i could find! :)

Really great story!
Neglea's avatar
Sorry, I'm not on good terms with the English grammar so I can't help with that, but the story itself sounds promising.
selinariel's avatar
This sounds really cool :) Thank you for the invitation! 
14carred's avatar
I'm really interested in seeing what happens, thanks for inviting me!
Noire-Ighaan's avatar
Thanks for joining ^___________^
April-Bouvier's avatar
Thanks for sending me and invitation and I've liked what you wrote but for the time being I don't have time for it, sorry I'm kind of new ot these group things just though I should let you know :dummy: 
NashasArt's avatar
:O I'm glad I joined the group! This is really interesting, can't wait to see what happens. 
677mara's avatar
I'm sorry, I do not understand English :c
RYKA triste
 
AkaiRoseNe's avatar
Wow, I look forward to see your novel someday :D
Work hard and go for it! ^_^
Noire-Ighaan's avatar
It should be released in September, I already have 95% of graphics done and I'm waiting for my editor to finish fixing my spelling mistakes :D
AkaiRoseNe's avatar
Oh my, good job! :D
I'm gonna follow informations about rest on yours or group page :3
Hope it can be seen by many of fans .w. Me too, of course! xD
anonymous's avatar
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In