Wow so much cleaning is going on right now.
Last years, There was always stimulations, events and it was difficult for me to find direction and meaning in what i was doing. I can say that life was taking control on me. But I recently decided that I could do whatever I pleased and I really needed a life plan, things i want to be known for and the values i want to share.
I think that a big thing to overcome is the fear. But I know that the only reason i fear is because I usually don't prepare enough before doing things and I always end up in trouble for that, and bigger realisation require more preparation. So it's a matter of training.
I'm also going in mars or april see my doctor. A close friend of mine and a counselor both told me to go check if I had ADHD because they think I have one. I thought of it before and when i was younger in middle and high school my result weren't affected (to alarming point, let's say). I managed great grades and i even went in a International Baccalaureate high school program so it was a bit more work than a regular program (but still quebec's education program is a joke on difficulty level).
On the other hand There where sign: I was handing my work late and It was always long to finish exam and writing papers. plus always loosing everything in the bus or elsewhere. When I was in primary school ADHD was just beginning to be known and the diagnosed child where the one with lots of hyperactivity. I thought that i was clumsy.
Anyway, I'm eager to see the result. I wonder if they will suggest medication and the effect it can do on the brain
Post scriptum: I did my research on the medications offers and it is very interesting. There is psychostimulant and non-stimulant who work not in the same way but both help to control the flow of neurotransmitters between neurons.
I was also thinking : My friend told me that i probably found a way to cope with my attention defficit in school and this is why i kept good grade.(if I have one) It is probable that i started doodleling in class to keep the focus on what the teacher was saying and THIS is why i'm in art today.