Commission: The Story of Eleysa

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By Nocturnaliss
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Literature Text

Chapter 1: Introducing Eleysa

 My name is Eleysa.

[we see Eleysa working at her computer, engrossed, glasses flickering.]

I'm twenty-four years old, and I'm studying Web Design. I've just started my first year.

I know. Aren't I a little old to start university?


[we see a close-up of Eleysa's right hand. It's a prothesis.]

Life doesn't always go as you planned.


[scenes fitting the coming narrative]

I was nineteen when I lost my hand. Just another teen, you know? Don't get me wrong: I was the responsible sort of teen, the kind you could trust with your car keys. That's exactly what my friend did. She wanted to stay late at a party and let me borrow her car. I don't remember what time it was. All I remember is bright lights blinding me on the road, and that was it.

Game over.

Well, that's what I hoped for after waking up and lifting my hand to greet my grief-stricken parents. I didn't lift a hand: I lifted a stub. They said I was in a brutal accident. I spent days in a coma.

… I don't like to think back on those days.

[shift back to present-day Eleysa. She props her glasses up with her prothesis, one index finger held out, just like anyone would do, and then resumes working. Narrative returns to the past]


It was hard. It was hard to accept that the fingers I felt moving weren't really there anymore. I could still see them. I could still feel my skin prickle. I got stubborn, and tried to make that ghost hand work. After all, I didn't lose a hand: I lost my main hand. How was I supposed to go through life with only an untrained, unskilled left hand?

[present-day Eleysa looks down at her normal left palm, then holds her bionic right palm next to it]

I never knew how much I took for granted; not until I tried to tie my shoelaces with one hand. From one day to the next, I was a child again.

Worse: I was handicapped.

All I had known, changed. I couldn't drive a car anymore; I couldn't carry grocery bags; I couldn't even wash myself as I used to. In the first weeks – or were they months? – my mother had to help me with every basic task. Needless to say, my self-confidence sunk. Trapped anyway in a life I'd never asked for, I pulled further away from my surroundings. All I had planned for the future during secondary school was gone. My life was over.

I had very dark thoughts, then. But I refused to give up.

My first prothesis was this huge chunk of plastic meant only for looks – to make me feel 'normal' again. Or, I thought back then, meant to cover up the horrible truth that two-handed people couldn't handle. Before I got this prothesis, it happened once that I was called out for my rudeness because I refused to shake someone's hand. They made me feel horrible – they made me feel like I wasn't me anymore. Out of frustration, and against better judgement, I offered my stub. They grew pale. Everybody stared at me then, like I was some kind of monster.

That prothesis reminded me, every day, of everything I'd lost. Not only a hand, but my place in society. And why?

[present-day Eleysa clicks away from her work. She Googles her name – Eleysa Bennett – plus accident, plus amputation. A list of articles pops up. She clicks on an already purple link, and scrolls quickly down the gruesome picture of the accident.]

I've read these articles over and over during these last years, and I still don't understand. Sometimes, I even feel angry.

The reckless driver was never brought to justice.

Worse: they were never found.

The first time my parents told me the story heard from the police, I needed a while to let the truth sink in. The driver had committed a hit-and-run offence. They had left their totalled car at the scene of the accident.

They had left me.

Maybe, just maybe, had they come and helped me…

[present-day Eleysa looks down at her prothesis. Her gaze is a telling story. After a moment, she looks back at her screen]


… But that's all in the past.


What matters is the now.

Early January, I was pointed towards this journal

Now, at the time, I was having health issues. So I decided against responding, as I felt I wasn't gonna be able to deliver in time (deadline was January 31st). 
... and then I changed my mind and decided, what the hell.

I liked the premise from the start and figured it wouldn't hurt to offer my services and let my writings speak for me. After all, I've learned and grown a lot since NaNoWriMo 2017 (novel still in progress!) and I feel I've reached a point where I'm capable of delivering worthwhile works. I love my own Catastrophic night and thought it well represented what I do. So I took a shot.

And, somehow, I got picked. Which, it must be said, is something HUGE for me for several reasons:
- I was always the kid picked last for sports in school
- I never get picked for jobs
- I got selected for this based on my writing skills - hugest of all when you're trying to build a career on said skills!

Inspiration came seriously fast on this, and luckily I started it real early because my health took an epic nosedive at the end of January XD thankfully, by then, I only had to polish the text. Only thing is that inspiration went too well on this, as I expanded a 3-4 pages request into about twelve XD but, Shadako26 was satisfied, so I am satisfied, and oh did I mention this is actually work for a videogame-related project? Because DREAM FULFILLED. I worked on a video game. Always wanted to. Now I have. :D

Writing style was inspired by Shadako26's needs, as well as this video she shared with me. I went for a reminiscent soft writing style, and no tragedies (beyond the one that claimed Eleysa's hand). 

This is but one chapter of three + outline for the global story. Hopefully the rest will one day be worked out into a full-fledged game and we'll all get to play it :D

This story written for Shadako26/Jessica S.'s project. Once again, it was pleasant working with you, Shadako :D thanks for the trust!


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© 2019 - 2021 Nocturnaliss
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dailydragonlair's avatar
This is fantastic! Congratulations for getting picked for the commission! It's wonderful because it's for part of a game, but also because it works as a written script, so you must be very happy! It's so powerful! It's important to talk about these things because life can be a very dehumanising experience for people who are seen as 'differen't or 'defective', and there's a lot of power in their stories. You've definitely created something universal and beautiful! I hope I can see it as part of the game one day!

(I'm sorry to hear about your health, though. I hope you're feeling a bit better at this stage, and that your novel is going well. I've been having some trouble getting the PDFs to open, even on computers, so I think perhaps there are some internet hiccups at the moment, but it's always a pleasure to catch up on your work.)
Nocturnaliss's avatar

Thank you :D I was indeed very happy! And still am. Still makes me feel like I accomplished something with this. And I really loved the premise, so I was honored to be a part of the process :D

My health... is unstable. Nerves are shot, but mentally I'm doing excellent. The latter being most important though. As for the pdfs, they seem not to work anymore on Eclipse, so I'll be working on replacing every pdf story by normal text. Cuz I hate having these stories be unreadable :/