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About Design & Interfaces / Hobbyist LoriFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 16 Years
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Statistics 234 Deviations 911 Comments 26,665 Pageviews

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blackstar by zeruch blackstar :iconzeruch:zeruch 79 13 disquiet three by zeruch disquiet three :iconzeruch:zeruch 9 0 no closure by zeruch no closure :iconzeruch:zeruch 16 5 $$$ FIVE STA R  2 by truant $$$ FIVE STA R 2 :icontruant:truant 19 1 rays of reflection by ssilence rays of reflection :iconssilence:ssilence 43,237 4,401 POW POW POW TWO by truant POW POW POW TWO :icontruant:truant 3 3 SELF PRINT TEST by truant SELF PRINT TEST :icontruant:truant 33 6 Bittersweet2 by andaria Bittersweet2 :iconandaria:andaria 720 599


It never happened
No possible way to breathe
Your massive hands I loved
When they were inside me
Caressing me
Your massive hands
Pinched my nose shut
Pushed over my mouth
Black dots swirling in my vision
This is how I will die
I will die looking at you
Looking at the face I love
The face I stared into
When my hands gripped your hair
When you were inside me
Making me scream
My screams cut off my breath cut off
I love you mom I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you
It never happened
The sound of bone snapping
Arm limp and twisted as it fell out of
Your grasp
The grasp I craved around my hips
On my breasts
My screams
The flowers
you were sorry
So sorry
It will never happen again
It never happened
The pillow over my face
The kick down the stairs
The knife to my throat
The Russian roulette
I am okay
It never happened
COPYRIGHT L. Stevenson 2018

TRIGGER WARNING: deals with domestic abuse
look outside
"Look outside, the wilderness
The wilderness is calling our names
The blackest skies, the daunting stars
The desert sun, melting our cold hearts
If you feel like the spark has gone
We just need a place where we can belong."

Near Shore Acres in Bandon, Oregon 11/01/14
Near Shore Acres in Bandon, Oregon. 11/01/14


Artist | Hobbyist | Design & Interfaces
United States

Please discount the deviant i.d. above, as it was made in 2005. I haven't uploaded anything to deviantart since 2009. I am starting again on 10/04/14. Patience is needed because i might be a little rusty.

Current Residence: winston, oregon
Favourite genre of music: wave.70/80's punk&
Favourite photographer: Tony Ward.Natacha Merritt.Helmut Newton.Guy Bourdin.David LaChapelle.Irving Penn.
Favourite style of art: photography
Operating System: Windows7
Wallpaper of choice: chris corner (iamx)
Skin of choice: my own.
  • Listening to: VNV Nation
  • Reading: Silver Ravenwolf,"Hedgewitch",Moore,"A Dirty Job".
  • Watching: halloween decorations lighting up the living room.
  • Playing: Skyrim.
  • Eating: nada
  • Drinking: Super strong (!)dark coffee,with a splash of milk.
Wow. Finally. I'm back. 

I had lost all drive, inspiration, and creativity because of my battle with drug addiction and alcoholism. I have not submitted anything since 2009. The addiction was my whole life, and I forgot about my passions. I lost my drive, inspiration, and dignity. 

I have had two 90-120 day stints in rehab at Transformations Wellness Center, in Klamath Falls, Oregon. I graduated the first time, was kicked out 10 days away from graduation for non-compliance. This was in May of 2013. Since then there have been a lot of slip ups&full on relapses; but, I kept trying. Every time I tried again to be sober, I learned a little more. On 09/20/14 I committed myself fully to sobriety. I now have 46 days. That is the longest I have been sober (outside of a rehab center, it's easy to stay clean in there) since I was 19 years old. A decade. 

My inspiration, my love of art, my love of writing down anything and everything that might make for a good's all coming back. 

I am awestruck. To have my creative drive back is an incredible thing.

Point is - I will be submitting more, even if i'm a little rusty at it. I will work on my art, design, or writing every day. 

"There's a storm on the streets
but you still don't run
watching and waiting
For the rain to come

&these words wouldn't keep you dry
or wipe tears from an open sky
but I know but I know
but I know I'm right

&I won't let you drown
when the water's pulling you in
i'll keep fighting, I'll keep fighting
Hurts: "Silver Lining" (from the album, "Happiness")


:icontheartofrain: :iconjamesworkman: :iconcrackedmoon: :iconhiddensoull: :iconfrogheart: :iconkrabumple: :icontoolesqueone: :iconohfever: :icontoolesque: :iconazaezel: :iconkamikazequeer: :icontangledseaweed: :iconnepasavaler: :iconherbrokentoy: :icontruant: :iconhexentanz: :iconmoonskulling: :iconmenagerie: :iconfragilemuse-org: :iconhypnos:


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thespook Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2016

How you doing these days? 
antimekii Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the brushes :) I'll go use the blood brush
fragilemuse-org Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2009
nitrate Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2009  Hobbyist Interface Designer
i love you! :heart:
SaisonRouge Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2009
Thank you for the brushes :)
Distorted-Retina Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
Many Thanks for the :+fav: and :+devwatch:
kamikazequeer Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You have so many boobs in your favs. So do I. Haha. :D
nitrate Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2009  Hobbyist Interface Designer
i love boobs.
neosynthetic Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2009  Professional Traditional Artist
danke ;)
nitrate Featured By Owner May 7, 2009  Hobbyist Interface Designer
no problem, in the least.

we actually used to chat a bit. i'm not sure if you remember.

Add a Comment: