literature

10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen

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Literature Text

10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.

9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.

3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1. Email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
I love the Twlight Series.

Any other suggestions?

I have done this type of thing for all the main characters... because I love them <3

Bella: [link]
Carlisle: [link]
Charlie: [link]
Edward: [link]
Emmett: [link]
Esme: [link]
Jacob: [link]
Jasper: [link]
Rosalie: [link]
© 2008 - 2022 nikatil
Comments358
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Violet-DawnMLP's avatar
I would totally do 4, but that would be way ruder than what I'm used too
HihiImAlice's avatar
I would do 8, but 7 is so crule.
TheDusty321's avatar
What's funny is that #10 probably wouldn't work too well, considering Alice could very well jump over your head regardless of her height.
Caramelkitty77's avatar
I problably would do number 2
But with no intencion of annoy her, I just really would do it instintively...
meeeee7078's avatar
DlyanBlake1666's avatar
Alice:*thinks for a bit then holds her left arm and gives Me the guilty little girl look*

Me: Aw what!?

Alice: *continues the look*

Me: Mother of the Matriarch! *hangs upside down from a branch looking away from Alice*

Alice: *continues the look*

Me: *Attaches Facehugger to My own face in order to cover eyes*

Alice: *continues the look*

Me* *muffled from the facehugger* FINE! *gives back the purse pulls off the face hugger*

Facehugger: *Chrip, chrip, growl* (Translation is explicit)

Alice: Thank You Dylan! *struts away pleased with Her success*

Me: Guh Whatever.

Sorry if it took too long.
DlyanBlake1666's avatar
Me: *sneaks up behind Alice and grabs Her purse from her and runs*

Alice: Hey! Dylan come back here!

Me: *stops* C'mon Alice! jump for it! *hold purse above head*

Alice: is this a short joke!? UGH! You Tailed... Bald... UGHARGH! *stops foot Glares at Me*

Me:* troll face* You mad?

Awesome work Nikatil!
NatsukiNekoChan's avatar
Hahaha, it sounds fun, but you'd better not mess with a vampire XP
monomeggy's avatar
hahaha number 3 had me laughing
ArtemistheMoonGodess's avatar
Lol these are just too funny
WoIfshead's avatar
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MG02's avatar
Oh my gosh, number three. XD
wolfofthenightmares2's avatar
:iconjeffisnothappyplz::iconsaysplz:hey!That's meaner than I am to BEN about the shortness!Jeff is not happy!
X3 couldn't help myself.
Iamthehero2013's avatar
rockgirl24's avatar
laughing about number 4
rockgirl24's avatar
this is so freaking funny i can´t stop laughing about number 3
Darkflame728's avatar
My favorite is number 3. :D
diamondsrock's avatar
RENESSEME , SAM, SETH
Berries-Fields's avatar
She's 4'10", she's already a midget.
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