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well now what's the matter with you
One of the hard parts about recovering from any kind of toxic or abusive relationship is grieving the person you THOUGHT they were. That person never was, but they were real to you at first and it's natural to miss THAT. Poor babies. I hope that Sootpaw gets to kind of step in as a father figure (well maybe more like an uncle) for the kits. He loves kids and Nettle's gonna need strong support through whatever comes next.