To slow down.
I've... been working on a lot this year. I wasn't able to show all of it here, and won't share all of it for a while, but any day or week or... even month I've gone radio silent here it's cause I've been busting my butt getting other stuff done. And looking back at this year... man, I went too hard. It became a rhythm, just constantly working on new projects, trying to be productive and get my name out there while overlooking the people I have in my life already. And I can't keep carrying on that way, setting so many deadlines and pressuring myself. It ain't healthy, and if I live every year going forward the way I lived 2019... I'll be one of those people on their deathbed who looks back through their life and sees a whoooole lotta nothin. Just missed opportunities, glued to a screen by choice, a creature of habit always toiling away at the next thing like a worker ant, the gift of life wasted on me.
My nightmares aren't about things like monsters or cars chasing me. It's depressing crap like that. THAT scares me.
So yeah, going to try to do things differently in 2019. Going to try scaling back to a balance, and not waste what relatively little youth I have left.