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Bionicle- Nova Orbis- Mystery- Chapter 4

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By NickOnPlanetRipple   |   
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© 2014 - 2020 NickOnPlanetRipple
So... I think these chapters are getting just a taaad too long. I'll try not to make the next chapter any longer.

As you can see, Ahkmou's sandmobile is exactly what it sounds like. A snowmobile that goes on sand, like the Cendox. I was originally going to put Chirox's super-long claws on the front, since, well, I've never been able to look at them without imagining them on snowmobile MOC... but sand is a bit different than snow, and those sorts of things would just make the whole contraption sink and stop. So I used those... whatever they are that appeared in some racers sets a while back. Also felt like making a seat for Ahkmou out of them.

And yes, this is the same place you see in my sig below. As you can imagine, it's a really important place in terms of the story, since this is where things really get going.

I had fun hinting at Ahkmou's dark ways throughout this chapter before he spilled his guts at the end. His reasoning for setting out like this is... almost beyond even me, to be honest. I guess after all of the horrible things he's done in the past because a certain someone lied to him in Metru Nui, being lied to like this is enough to give him a panic attack. He needs to clear things up, but not necessarily for the good of everyone at large. Rather, he just needs to find out the truth for himself, to make himself feel better so he can get through the day. He wants the truth so badly, apparently, that he'll charge into one of the most dangerous parts of the island to get it.

Sorry I didn't draw any illustrations for Calor's scenes, but we'll get to see what he's up to in the next chapter. This one mainly focused on Ahkmou, and then Mieli taking on a secondary role, and Calor last. The next chapter will focus on Calor in Onu-Wahi.

The "music" he hears when entering Onu-Wahi is another thing that should make the good ol' days come to mind. It sounds a lot like music from the MNOG, huh?

I had so much fun writing about Ga-Koro and the Ga-Matoran, and just showing how much their existence has changed. Inside Mata Nui's body, they had to spend most of their time working to keep him going. When they started slacking off, he became ill. This culminated with the Matoran Civil War, which nearly killed the great spirit.

Now, though, they are not confined to his body. They don't need to "work" to keep the world around them from crumbling away or shutting down. No longer are they the simple nanobots that the Great Beings describe them as. They still have JOBS, of course, but in the same manner we do, more of a livelihood, to keep their way of life going. They still have room for... play.

I especially enjoyed drawing the Ga-Matoran Mieli meets. I just have fun drawing big, strong girls as opposed to frail, weak ones or "moeblobs." For those who are wondering, her name is Imber. And no, she still isn't quite as tall as Trux. Also, the Bo-Matoran's name is Silva. We'll see more of these two as this story goes on.

Anyhow, lots of crazy things are going down! Some things we may not know the truth behind for a long while. The implications are unsettling, to say the least.

Anyway, that's it for now! I hope you guys have enjoyed this installment. Please continue to spread the word and let people know about this if you think they may enjoy it. I'll upload the next chapter in two weeks, as usual.

In the meantime, feedback is appreciated.


Beginning >> nickinamerica.deviantart.com/a…

Previous chapter >> nickinamerica.deviantart.com/a…

Full series >> nickinamerica.deviantart.com/g…
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Comments35
anonymous's avatar
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Battledroidunit047's avatar
Something ain't right here...
Mechx11's avatar
Brilliant story.....I got up to chapter 13 about two years ago before finally returning to it.

I'm so happy I did!

I love the how the story feels like it is the real Bionicle story with sets and all. Well done!!
Resonat1018's avatar
I thought you just named this matoran AFTER Ahkmou, it IS Ahkmou!!!
random1289's avatar
what exactly are the "elder spirits"? or is that revealed in a later chapter?
NickOnPlanetRipple's avatar
They're made up.
Sl33pdeprived's avatar
Sl33pdeprivedHobbyist Artisan Crafter
So is this part recent? 
NickOnPlanetRipple's avatar
What do you mean?
Sl33pdeprived's avatar
Sl33pdeprivedHobbyist Artisan Crafter
Well after reading the four chapters needless to say u have hooked me on your story all I was wondering was that if that last chapter was put up recenty I just started to read this last night and finished this morning.
NickOnPlanetRipple's avatar
Twnety-four chapters have been uploaded so far.
Sl33pdeprived's avatar
Sl33pdeprivedHobbyist Artisan Crafter
Ok thx when I didnt see a link to any "new" chapters when I read chapter 4 I figured that there wasnt any more so thank you for clearing that up
burkeonthesly's avatar
That was a nice way of defusing some of the tension in the climactic conversation, Ahkmou accidentally whistling out his nose.

Again, I think this could do with a reread and a bit of line editing. Phrases like, "The Bo-matoran gave him a bad look," are unhelpfully vague, but the heart of this story is solid, and you're building some strong intrigue now. The plot's gathering steam, and I want to see where it goes.
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGA's avatar
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGAHobbyist Artist
I could imagine a hippie going to one of Uira's concerts and shouts "PEACE!... Where's the fire?"
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGA's avatar
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGAHobbyist Artist
I want to live on Miro-Nui so bad! I mean Mata-Nui and Metru-Nui and all the other islands are cool and everything but they all had so much mystery and danger to them. This island has such welcoming people and an inviting atmosphere 
random1289's avatar
I have a creeping feeling that this seeming paradise will eventually show its darker shades, but maybe i'm just rampantly theorizing about nothing
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGA's avatar
SILENTPHANTOMOMEGAHobbyist Artist
I don't want to go far into spoiler territory but those islands were dangerous because of the nature of the islands themselves, Mata-Nui was filled treacherous terrain and rahi.
Metru-Nui was politically unstable due to constantly being a highly sought commodity.
The dangers that present themselves on Miro-Nui are because of the situations caused by specific characters.
Aside from a few minor environmental hazards there is no direct threat to a human living on Miro-Nui except for the irradiated north, and the Su-Wahi wasteland.
FlameWhirlwind176's avatar
FlameWhirlwind176Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I really like how you delve into each of these characters, aswell as the world around them. I really like how this has been handled so far :D
BenjaminDJ99's avatar
I never read stories on DeviantArt, but I have fallen in LOVE with this one! Love Ahkmou's speech!
BTW, I've read the whole story so far today. Chapter 5 incoming!
ToaAerrow's avatar
ToaAerrowHobbyist Writer
That Bo-Matoran at the end almost looks like Yoda in armour!
Great Story! KUTGW!
(Keep Up The Good Work)
Orionide5's avatar
Wow... this story just keeps getting better. Aside from the awesome peek at the outside of the Living Fortress, I think the best part was Akhmou proving his "bad" side and pushing past the Bo-Matoran.
jakest123's avatar
jakest123Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ahkmou is probably the best guy for this 'detective' job. He's done his fair share of lying, so he knows how these things work.
Toaofnight's avatar
ToaofnightHobbyist Writer
Okay, how did you do this?
NickOnPlanetRipple's avatar
What do you mean? The story or the art?
Toaofnight's avatar
ToaofnightHobbyist Writer
The art.
NickOnPlanetRipple's avatar
I drew it with pencils on paper, scanned it, then colored it with Photoshop.
anonymous's avatar
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