Hej guys! If I could say that? If anyone at all is reading or flowing me, with my submissions of art here.
Never mind ^^ At least I found the courage and the will to write a journal here. Pewww I remember the time,
when I wrote every next day a journal. Now. Rarely, a day, week, month, year? Hard to say, but I did. Oh I for
sure told in the old journal that I am drawing, it was a BIG FAT LIE. I didn't touch a pen in ages, I didn't made
a sweep of the brush with oil paints in ages, but I am and proud. I did paint and finish a old painting for my brother.
It sat for 3 years, and I came in contact with my old dear funny friend Ana <3 She is my sensei / mentor. She has
gone to Art academy. And its done now, it waits its frame and I don't have to look at that reminder of my bad days.
I feel shame i do. Its hard, to be in that stage in life that I believe every single one off us here on DAart site asked
them self's ( with lack of confidence and self esteem ) " What now? " I believe you did. Every one. And yes it includes
my self esteem, and confidence, and lack of thrust in my self, the worst of all is that I spit on my self as a person, and
on my own skills. I do and I did that, why? the question " what now ? " . Specially when I broke up with my ex. The hardest
blow in my whole life. It was until now, It wasn't my fault it was hes. And Hes BITCH girlfriend that BITCH, burn in hell you both!
UGH... -.- , I have a good reason for that, a really good one. And now, I am again on a good track to find my path to find
my self, AGAIN! I actually today did sketch a Wells catfish in dragon form, I loved it. I did! Okay I lost the feeling of anatomy
and every thing off drawing can throw at me. But I am wiling to learn now. I love it. ANd now when I am back again in touch
with Ana, she can lead me thru the things I have watch and learn. I cant thank her enough, she thinks its permanent, but its not
I owe her and she knows it so hope some art shines here on NBD
For the job finding, its stressful as well. I am not the only one I know i am not. But I know that there are lucky bitches that get that
lucky me lottery ticket. Good for you, but don't than smire that in my face. Don't! It is and I am tired off it! I really am, in this crappy
country, with more crappy politicians that USA is leading * pukes on Croatian new politicians *, I didn't gave my Vote for you BITCHES!
Ugh, don't come to Croatia, you think its cool but its not. I am coming out to you! To the world, AND I FUCKING WILL! Know English and
German, I am good to go . But not here, every single of us has to have in start 10 years of experience in our job, WHERE?!
WEll, I have nothing to lose but to continue my education, yes you heard my i will go to education, continue my education. For now ill go
this year again on a season job on our wonderful Jadransko More ( Adriatic Sea ), somewhere in Istra. have nothing to lose, at least ill work
and not sit at home and wank my imaginary dick.
Yeah, that should do it for now. Feel free if you want to question me or something .
See ya around