I can relate, and I know I'm not alone on this one. I don't THINK I'm infertile, but I HAVE tried to be celibate (willingly, and for life, mind you; not this "till marriage" "nonsense"
). Lawd knows how much I've been pestered by folks who want(ed) to see me with a girlfriend and look forward to a life where I could provide children for them to gossip and make small talk about. (rudeness aimed at the pester-ers, not you, author
you've my sincerest sympathy
) ...Er, I meant, so that I could enjoy sexuality a wife and the joy of any ensuing kids.
I chose celibacy, but you couldn't choose infertility, and recent events in my life have caused me to doubt I'll enjoy a life of singleness, like my desire has been stripped away from me. So I know it's incredibly difficult to WANT something, something so GOOD and BEAUTIFUL, only to have it taken away by destiny and to be ridiculed for something beyond your control. From the deepest reaches of my heart, I'm terribly sorry.
In that regard, I almost wish we had switched biological places. If I knew that attempting kids was a lost cause, I'd be all like, "
CERIBACYYYYYYY!!!" (*run off to do something amazing with my additional time*), and you could, hopefully, have your kids. For that, too, I'm terribly sorry.
I don't hug often. Even online. But this piece genuinely touched me (somewhere....
). You absolutely deserve one, and so much more.
As an unknown friend who struggles between destiny and desire too, I hope and pray you are ridiculed no more.