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One word critiques, round two! 

71%
24 deviants said The 'your mom' option
24%
8 deviants said Link to one piece, visual or written and I will give you ONE WORD that is something that NEEDS IMPROVEMENT.
6%
2 deviants said Paying it forward is cool, too

Devious Comments

:icontuesdaynightcompany:
TuesdayNightCompany Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013
tuesdaynightcompany.deviantart…
I've had three people consider this to be flawless, awesome, or perfect.  It's unnerving.  Something had to be wrong with it.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:lol:

hollow
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:icontuesdaynightcompany:
TuesdayNightCompany Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013
Yay
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
pff :P
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:iconk47454k1:
K47454k1 Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Professional Writer
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks!
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:iconk47454k1:
K47454k1 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013  Professional Writer
:lol: appreciate it! :)
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Interest
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:iconmormonbookworm:
mormonbookworm Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
so working on grabbing interest?
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah. You don't really give the reader a chance to appreciate these characters and empathize with them before sliding into the repetition.
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:iconmormonbookworm:
mormonbookworm Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
There was a word limit when I wrote it, so I felt rushed.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think you should keep the limit, but consider how best to use that space more effectively. Word limits aren't time limits, the point is to write a story that works within those constraints - and that usually involves a lot of editing afterwards.
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:iconmormonbookworm:
mormonbookworm Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah, I see. (Nothing ever is really truly complete with me.)
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
fav.me/d6d3677 Does it count if you've already read it once? (Seriously though, I'm redoing this soonish and want advice. :dummy:)
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Eh, whatever :P

Focus
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That should be slightly easy to fix, since the reworking won't have to include all the color words and stuff.... :P Thanks!
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, they're kind of part of it because it does randomly devolve into a conversation about the language sometimes, though :P sure thing!
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol, yeah, I plan to keep most of the language talk - but if I can get rid of the (in my mind) silly phrases about grey school symbols and all that, along with some of the foreign phrases, it will be a little better. :P
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, yeah :P it's a short piece, too, so the tone should stay more consistent (hence focus!)
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:iconladybrookecelebwen:
LadyBrookeCelebwen Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Exactly! But getting rid of the challenge elements (aside from the language thing, because I feel like that's part of their personalities) should make it more consistent.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah :nod:
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(1 Reply)
:icondailybreadcafe:
DailyBreadCafe Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, I wouldn't offer if I couldn't do it ;p

Descriptions
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:icondailybreadcafe:
DailyBreadCafe Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013   Writer
Thanks :)
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:iconpennedinwhite:
PennedinWhite Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Not really meant for "critique", but opinions are ever welcome.

smadams.deviantart.com/art/My-…
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's incomplete! :ohnoes:
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:iconpennedinwhite:
PennedinWhite Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hmmm. Indeed. :heart:
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:love:
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:iconlion-essrampant:
lion-essrampant Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Of course!

Pacing
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:iconlion-essrampant:
lion-essrampant Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Too fast or two slow?

this sounds strangely like last time, haha.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:giggle: yeah, I think it's consistent in your first drafts, you tend to infodump a bit at the beginning and then it suddenly shifts to all action P:
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:iconlion-essrampant:
lion-essrampant Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:giggle: Oops. Haha. How would I fix that?
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Edit for it? ;p If it's a first draft, whatever, that's what beta readers and then editing once you know it's consistently an issue are for!
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:iconlion-essrampant:
lion-essrampant Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
True.
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
glossolalias.deviantart.com/ar…

you're such an angel. maybe i'll fail at one word critiques again.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Gotta build good press somehow :eyes:

hahaha, I'm totally keeping an eye on your poll.

ahem, ahem...consistency.
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
thank you P: the likelihood of me editing that one is pretty low, but i'll keep that in mind if i do.
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Why did you want the crit on it then :eye:

To be honest, the best part about one-word crits for me is not having to mince words at all.
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:iconglossolalias:
glossolalias Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
b/c my friend ~valentunch is aware of a magazine that may or may not want it; i will end up editing it then ahahahahaha
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ahaha nice!
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:iconreallylostmymind:
ReallyLostMyMind Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Student Filmographer
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:dance:

Conclusion
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:iconpiratelotus-stock:
PirateLotus-Stock Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
I missed the first round, so let me make sure I understand what's going on.  You're supposed to post a link to a work you'd like critiqued, and then go and critique other works with only one word?
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, the latter part is up to you (and I think it might confuse the shit out of people if you just drop in on them) but yeah, leave one art here and I will tell you one thing that could be improved about it. P:
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:iconpiratelotus-stock:
PirateLotus-Stock Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
Oooh, I see :D
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:la:
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:iconsourair:
SourAir Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:la: Vocabulary
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