The former Spartiate chewed on an olive - not as good as the ones in Lacedaimon, or really the entire Peloponnesus - and spat the pit at the feet of his trainees, who jumped back like Sophists confronted by Socrates, or really anyone approached by Diogenes. "You motherlovers couldn't fight your way out of a brothel! You...Orpheuses! Go home to Iphigenia!"
The trainees, who were making noises as varied as their professions - when they weren't being called to the service of Athens, anyway - stopped moving. One of them, a man with a blacksmith's arms and the personality of an incontinent kitten, whimpered. And then said, of all things, "I think you mean Oedipus."
"Oedipus, sir," one of the farmers, a man who must surely have been used to exercises in futility.
The Lacedaimonian had seen how trashy the soil in Attica was, and wanted nothing to do with it. He wondered why the Athenians didn't find their own Messenians - probably too busy hitting on teenage
So You Want to Get Published: Navigating Magazines
I'm going to talk about my experiences with the publishing process (yes, that's plural! I have a sample set larger than N=1). For me, this has been predominantly SF/F, but this should generalize to most prose and even some poetry.
For starters, I think that most of us should go through this process at least once. Whether you're looking to self-publish, get into novels, indie or Big 5, start your own zine...you have to have some understanding of the current industry and terminology. Between writing Twitter and the random blogs that come up on Google, if you don't have an existing starting point, you're going to end up with like 50 different ideas on how the process works. Why not try a more hands-on approach instead?
Anyway, getting from a story on your computer to in a print (or online!) magazine is a process. There's a lot of magazines out there, and there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach, but here's how I do it. It's worked so far.
1. Write something.
Duh? Well, not exactly. I