literature

Dandelions

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neoHephaestus's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Dandelions

our summer fantasy on the isles;
(with heavy heat from an
Omnipresent sun)

that left snatches of laughter ringing
in our ears, and emboldened our hearts—
now resides in tactile memory;

—held fast by gentle determination
to never forget that sweet lesson
learned ‘neath stars and sun,
amid dandelions that tickled my thighs;

—to stop needing an excuse to run,
and take pleasure of wind in my hair






This piece is based on a deviation by *ThisYearsGirl.

The image can be found here: [link]

Change Log:
[1-26-07] Changed 'echoes' to 'snatches' in line four.
© 2007 - 2026 neoHephaestus
Comments24
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Lisolette-Anwe's avatar
Oh, what lovely imagery. This poem is so beautiful and compelling. It cast such a vivid picture and invokes all of one's senses.

I love these lines,

"—held fast by gentle determination
to never forget that sweet lesson
learned ‘neath stars and sun,"

It touched a chord, and brought me back a few years.

I enjoyed the flow of this piece. I disagree with previous statements about this piece and how the switch from relaxation to motion was disturbing. Personally, I do not feel that any sort of motion was made what-so-ever. I feel, it is a compilation of thoughts and feelings, with the exception of these lines,

"(with heavy heat from an
Omnipresent sun)"

"amid dandelions that tickled my thighs;"

I feel that these lines help the reader enter the same paradise and feel what it is that you are feeling.

I do agree that the piece had and undertone of sexuality that was not unpleasant.

Regardless of the nit-picking details of this piece. It flowed and was absolutely lovely, a pleasure to read.