Shop Forum More Submit  Join Login
d: Fighting for Love :b by nenuiel d: Fighting for Love :b by nenuiel
Please CRITIQUE!!

Oh my gosh this is ssssssooooooo old!! XDDD The coloring and lettering is fairly new (which some of the letter is very bad now), but I did the line art almost a year ago! Sheesh...

Actually, this is a single page out of a what...24 page comic? Can't quite remember - the rest of it is pretty bad so I won't be showing it in my gallery. Maybe I'll put it up in scraps, I dunno. But I do have colored versions of certain panels also posted in my gallery! Check it out! =D

Anywho, I distracted myself a bit there. This is actually a comic translating Chretien de Troyes' "Lancelot of Cart". I hate Lancelot, usually, but this is the originating story of said character! XDD Yes, I'm a dork - I love finding useless information like this. And I drew a fight scene...that somewhat works! Yay! :w00t:

It was also my first experiment with a style that tries to imitate staing lass. The coloring is getting closer to what I want but the line work and style needs some major overhaul. ^^;

Please tell me what you think! If you say a comic in a similar style, would be interested? Your feed backs and critiques are greatly appreciated!

Please do not use, borrow, distribute or reproduce without my distinct permission. Thank you!! =D
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlaurasmuse:
LaurasMuse Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
I like this, especially the colorful sword swoops. I think it's brilliant to make a comic of Knight of the Cart. I love Chretien--his writing is so funny, and that's the first story ever that introduces both Lancelot and Camelot!
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2011
Thank you! =D I really appreciate your comments! And yeah, I totally nerded out when I found out that this is the origin story of Lancelot.
Reply
:iconlaurasmuse:
LaurasMuse Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
I wish I could see all of your comic. I mean, there is a lot of fun imagery in "Knight of the Cart". The Sword Bridge is one, for starts. Did you find the story as hilarious as I did? I found Sir Lancelot's debut erratic behavior to be very amusing. :)
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2011
I certainly did! The sword bridge is an interesting phenomenon, I tried to depict it but it failed dismally. >.< Even though I had a lot of fun designing the 'lions' that guarded it.

But sadly I don't think I'll be continuing this comic, at least not for a long time. =( But I am so glad to hear that you are interested in it! Honestly, I believe you're the first one!
Reply
:iconjunebughardee:
JunebugHardee Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2009
nice, I love the colors and the stained glass feel to it
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2009
Thank you so much! =D
Reply
:iconjunebughardee:
JunebugHardee Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2009
your welcome:)
Reply
:iconheartofhikage:
HeartOfHikage Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009  Student
First off, the color rocks. When I was glancing at your icon I thought to myself "it almost looks like stained glass..." even if that wasn't what you were going for that is what it seems like to me, and I really like it!

I can tell this is your old work though XD.... everyone has pretty much summed up what I had to say in the anatomy and tangent category.
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
XDDD Yeah, it's blatantly obvious that this is very old. I like the geometric style, it's just that I'm going to have to use a LOT more color holds!

And my icon is supposed to look like stained glass! =D If that's what it looked like then I achieved my goal!
Reply
:iconperfectfourth:
PerfectFourth Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2009
Alright, if it's a critique you want... *Clears throat and puts on her best Professor Joseph voice* You've really got to remember your anatomy, stained glass window or otherwise. Panel four is looking particularly questionable (his arm is much too skinny).

Panel 2 has a bunch of tangents going on with the outside panel and the green guy's hair on the speech bubble, and the gold guy is looking quite unbalanced.

For some reason, in the second-to-last panel, he looks like he's being decapitated.

I really like the colors and your relentless attention to detail, especially in the backgrounds. For some reason I found myself drawn to that crowd, maybe it's the pastel against the bold earth tones. And I would totally love to see you draw in this style more, once you perfect it. Just remember your anatomy--even though it's flat you can still make it look natural, and I have been seeing Joseph's bike parked around Savannah...
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
XDDDD I totally deserve that! My anatomy was HORRIBLE for this comic! Looking back on it now a year later makes me wince! >.< My abstraction process did not work properly...

Yeah, I need to work out the tangent issue. To me I always thought that black lines need to be interlocked to imply the iron that keeps all the pieces together. But now I realize I don't need to have as many black lines - now I can use color holds!! =D

But thanks so much for the critique, I'll keep it in mine when I work on this style again. My main issue is thinking of a good story to do in this style. I have an Arthurian Legend story ironed out, but I also think just some type of fantasy story would work too...any thoughts for what I should play around with?
Reply
:iconperfectfourth:
PerfectFourth Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
Haha, I know how you love getting your artwork nitpicked. And I also know you'd totally do the same for me.

Maybe you could do something with dual storylines, one set in Arthurian times and one set in contemporary times...only the contemporary line's drawn in the stained glass style and the old-school one's drawn with a more contemporary look to it. Like a Twelve Kingdoms kind of thing. Maybe with slapstick comedy, which is from what I've seen, something you don't really explore much of.

I like the thought of contrasting the style with the concept though. What if you had a sci-fi story in that style? A mobster story? A western? Without the use of any text, like a real stained-glass window display. After all, the real ones are supposed to tell stories. If you've seen the Saint-Chappelle in Paris, it's a perfect example. I think they have the entire bible stain-glassed in that thing.
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
I actually thought about doing a scifi story in the stain glass style, ironically enough. I have a story where the architecture and the clothing of the people would be Elizabethan/Gothic inspired - so maybe that would suit the stain glass, in a way. Plus it has politics and spies and assassins all in it - might be kinda fun. Now I'm tempted to try! ^_^

The dual storyline is also an idea I thought of. It might be kinda fun to show how different writers influenced and altered the Arthurian Legends, and how it changed over time adding more and more complications to the actual story. Plus I'd add my own thoughts. It'd be a lot of research but it might be worth it. Do you think that would interest people? o.O

And you are so right about Saint-Chappelle! =D There were so many stories it all turned into a pattern! I couldn't tell which from what? But sadly I couldn't do a long comic without much text...for short segments yes but eventually we would need some type of dialogue... ^^;
Reply
:iconperfectfourth:
PerfectFourth Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2009
The thing about dialogue in this style, though, would be finding a way to actually make it fit in the stained glass look. If you can do a straight tableau it'd look a ton more authentic.

Oh gosh, stained glass 4-panel gag comics would be amazingly amazing.
Reply
:iconnenuiel:
nenuiel Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2009
XDD I just cannot see gags in stain glass. In other styles, yes, but not stained glass. ^^; And you are quite right about the straight tableau - it's always either horizontal or vertical. Hmm. An interesting dilemma. I shall solve it! :shakefist:
Reply
:iconana-marya:
ana-marya Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
whoah! really like a professor :D
I think the critics were already said... so I'll have to say what I really like; I'm not an expert (like most of the comic fans) so I won't use clever comments like I sometimes do on sketchfu:
the princess is beautiful, the details are great, the coloring is outstanding and I like that it's an action scene...
so after you'll fix the skinny arm and the decapitated guy I think it's gonna be great ;)
Reply
:iconperfectfourth:
PerfectFourth Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2009
Oh god, if I were a professor Ris would be the only one taking my class, I bet. I'm too hard-assed and high-strung for that job. XD
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×



Details

Submitted on
July 4, 2009
Image Size
1.6 MB
Resolution
1000×1503
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
539
Favourites
4 (who?)
Comments
17
×