First of all let me thank all 328 watchers of mine to stick with me through good and bad, through active and inactive times.
NO, I am NOT LEAVING so stop packing your stuff I'm alive and I'm not planning on giving up on dA, or art etc etc.
Now, I've come quite the way and I'm aware how many fake promises I've made the past few years about getting back on the activity I managed to do back in 2014... well, I'm not gonna complain. Life happened, right now I'm living on my own and I have a full time job (which I will turn into a part time job to let me draw more). I passed the 5th month of taking care of myself and I'm actually proud to say that I stayed out of trouble and that I get by with little struggle.
Mentally however... my friends noticed how I started slipping with each day, but I still kept making fake promises and fooled myself into the thought that I can get out of the unhealthy habits I made (such as spending literally no time socializing, eating less etc.). I am very thankful for them to do what they could for me and that they didn't give up on me in the end.
To be honest, I don't expect anyone to not give up on me, unwatch, unfollow etc. because I have nothing that would justify my past actions that lead to this endless cycle of inactivity and fake promises.
For those of you who were wondering what happened to the last commissioners and their piece of artworks: I stayed in contact with Cakiiebun
and actually finished their request, even if I did not publish it. She was very patient with me and I'm super thankful for that. (I will
post that artwork when I can (cross my heart I will.)) The third and last requester, Wryn from Discord however... I will not lie, I told them to wait until the previous drawing is finished and I'll get back to them. ....I did't. YET. But I'll have a discussion with them privately, to apologize and compensate for what I put them through.
On a less gloomy part, I'm doing better each day.
I just got a PMA rush from a jacksepticeye video and I wanted to make this journal when I realized that I only have one week left of my core membership, so I thought that before the page goes back to a simpler state, I should inform you beforehand that I am not abandoning this page despite it being back to its non-core state.
Now now, I kindly ask you NOT to donate anything, do not get my core membership back, because I don't want to spit any more false promises. I am not telling you this to ask for donations.
So no promises, but I can't not have plans...
Until summer, I am attending a weekly animation course nearby where I study and make traditional, frame-by-frame animation and meanwhile being guided by a teacher that also tutors animation students at the art university. I can't cover the tutoring fees there, so I settled on the idea of trying to get into an intense 2-year course (the same I tried to apply for in August but got rejected). If that doesn't work out, I'll just join another one that starts in October. By that time I plan to only have the burden of a part time job so I can slowly and steadily get back online.
Like I said, no promises, but I want my dA and tumblr alive, while making my way into twitter, probably.
I hope y'all had a nice time closing 2018, and that 2019 holds even better opportunities for you.
I'm not dead. Sorry for being kinda dead tho. I'm making my way to not be so dead. You go not be dead either I love you.