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About Deviant necronomiconjonesMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Months
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Necronomicon Jones - Chefs
The best thing about cooking vampires is you don’t need a BBQ. All you need is some thick iron chains and a sunny day. Get some marshmallows on sticks, grab some potatoes and wrap them in foil, make a day of it, bring the kids.
Dearest reader, let me assure you that no goat was harmed during the making of this page. The juicy dutch farmhand was not so lucky ….. but as we like to say in Wales, “dance with the devil and you will end up a squishy mess.”
One of the problems of  visiting a vast underground hive of flesh eating mutant ghouls is the smell (mainly due to the high protein diets, a distinct lack of flushing toilets, no deodorant and a ghouls natural aversion to mouthwash). Obviously no one bothers to wipe down the tableware, none of them have ever heard of a hoover and their idea of small talk involves them poking you with a stick whilst licking their lips.


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