Inspiration is fleeting, spontaneous, and you get very few chances to use it before it passes.
I've found myself in quite a cycle since I've stopped working on Growing Around. I write up a bunch of things I "want to do". Try them once, and give them up since I lacked the "motivation".
Today I had a recollection of what inspired me to start making works throughout the year:
"Garfield": Back in grade school got me to do 70 entries of a comic series following me and my school peers, started drawing.
"Dragon Rider" & "Percy Jackson": Both of these books got me into loving adventure stories and I began writing. Wrote like 20 different worlds and a decent amount of characters. Even a dozen short stories! Aiming to create an adventurous story.
"Avatar: TLAB" & "Naruto": Shifted my focus completely from writing, to learning how to draw out those stories I wanted to tell. (beginning of this DA account)
"My Little Pony": Interacted with a bunch of people who have inspired me to continue pursuing art, and collaborate with people and seek help from them. I kept improving my art, worked on collaborations:
- Mr. Enter and Dr. Wolf collab (completed)
- Clean up on Smile Five (half completed)
- Growing Around (halted)
- a few other projects with Growing Around crew at the time. (abandoned).
- OCT comic entries: (Finished but not accepted)
Getting nowhere on Growing Around, I decided to go do more studies to improve more on my art. At the same time I decided to give a go at making games with my best friend Joe. Which didn't get far past the concept stage.
Flash-forward to early 2017. I've like reached the quality of art I've strived for so long. But I lost like the entire reason i wanted to get good at art in the first place, storytelling.
I returned to go at Growing Around again to rely on MrEnter as the storyteller. And I got my best character designs I've ever done to date:
...But I couldn't enjoy how John writes characters, despite liking his story content (I think he's best at writing other peoples characters, since he isn't too socially active to make genuine inspiration for characters)
. After trying and failing to explain that simple thing, I left the project again and looked to pursue my own projects.But I have none. All the inspiration I got from entertainment years ago has already dissipated.
I tried a few things:
- Working one of my game concepts into a adventure story:
- Trying to work on other adventure story (actually wrote writing a decent amount for this):
- Doing a fan comic of One Piece (nearly completed it):
- Doing my own robot apocalypse comic (concepted heavily and completed introduction):
I've hit a point since Growing Around, where I never fully realize an idea. And I've never gotten a kick of inspiration from other entertainment mediums. Instead I've tried to rely on myself and others to get something out there. Which of course doesn't work out. Which brings me to the question:
"Why do I create?"
I don't know. I always say I want to entertain in response to this, but all I've really done for the past couple years is draw somewhat cool looking shit with cute characters. And not even finished them to boot, I get as much satisfaction leaving everything a sketch as I do putting in 3 times the work to finalize it. I don't even have an audience in mind when I say I want to entertain.
The most entertaining thing I've done was make 2 videos recently. Which I made for my friends.
- Message to my friends- The Great Arby's Heist
Which I can definitely say was inspired by Sam Hyde, SleepyCast, E;R, and Anthony Fantano (meme review), VideogameDunkey. Just the general internet crowd I like.
So I guess I can say inspiration isn't dead for me, but it's become so rare since "My Little Pony" and in such a small time window, I rarely capitalize on the effect to get something started, and much less finish it. And I can say I know the audience to entertain now. Screw random nobodies online. If they like something I make so be it; but I only should be making things for the people I know, and the people I love.
Anyways I'm kinda just muddling around doing nothing right now, but hey, maybe one day I'll get that fire burning for long enough to get me away from being a unsuccessful unhappy artist like Squidward. To a successful unhappy artist like Bojack I hope one day I might be able to make some more people smile, and inspire them, even if only briefly. But for now, I'll roll around in my self-substantiated monotony.
Well what's your thoughts on the subject of fleeting inspiration?
I didn't even touch on music inspiration and work. But that's always been a weird subject.
Here's a few good tunes from favorite to least:
Closer to the Grave
(Progressive Rock song intro, best rock work imo)Botpa Theme
(song for Tammy & Botpa story)Switch
(Song that I wrote about the desire to change. Closest thing to finished version of it *i have lyrics but not in it*)This Home's not for me (sad song about abuse that's not been finished but sounds good)