Thank you everyone for your kind words. I wasn't looking for them. I just needed to vent.
Right now, I'm trying to dig through the fury to get to the place I can mourn my brother.
I'm in the middle of Boutwell anger. Usually, I have Hartshorn anger -- blow in, blow up, blow out, feel like an idiot. Boutwell anger is a quiet, tight-lipped murderous vengeful thing. Like I said, it's a good thing I live 1,200 miles away, or my oldest nephew would have a broken face.
Dad was married twice. He had two daughters and a son by the first wife. I was the only by the second. That's the problem. To the two girls, I'm the son of the other woman. Gene was the only one who called me brother. He tried to be a son to Dad. When Mom died, he broke down and told me "Your mama was my second mother. She practically raised me."
He's the one who died.
He was the only Boutwell in that bunch. The others are ... Mom taught me if I can't say anything nice, don't say anything. Right now, I shouldn't say anything.
But I know where I stand with them now. It's done. Over. I don't care if I never hear from them again now.
I believe you choose your family. You don't have much choice over relatives. You hep cats are my family. The others are just relatives, and they can kiss my Floridian-North Georgian-Texan ass!
I just found out my half-brother died.
In April 2021.
Fucking nice of everyone to tell me! I had to find out by a random name search on Google, just to see where he was living now. They could have contacted me, if they wanted. I'm not that difficult to find online.
It's a good thing I live 1,200 miles away from all them because I'm fit to chew an anvil!
I'm going to bury myself in a few games for a few days because right now ... what I'm thinking isn't peaceful and it sure ain't nice and family-like. I need to bust some skulls. Better pixelated ones than my goddam nephews'.
Mick Fleetwood. An underrated, great drummer who belongs in the same list as Ringo Starr Keith Moon Phil Collins John Bonham Charlie Watts Don't debate me. You lose.