I haven't been here for a while, and actually I am kinda showing up just to tell you I am not dead in real life or something.
I am sorry for having vanished from your life like this, some of us used to be friends, as far as I remember, and I don't even know if these people even do use dA anymore (you can write me again if you like, I guess I'll be checking my account here for a while).
One of the reasons is that there has been a horrible lot of different things happening in my life, I guess I've been through so much during these last two years that I am vaguely surprised I am still alive and sane. My university and especially my graduation year have really cost me more than such things should, I was so burned out and broken and went to two different therapists in turn none of whom helped and such.
My family still is not a really safe and peacefull haven, either. And my health has been causing me a lot of pain lately. Chronic pain, in fact, so some of my days are totally spoilt from the very morning.
But I want to believe that there are better days to come, for my studies are finished and I am going to look for a job and I don't have to live with my parents, so it's so much easier to love them. Me and my sister who I love greatly are going to live together for now, and for the first time in my life I've met a guy, who, um, I really like.
I also write quite a lot. Writing is the thing that kept me going through it all, I've taken part in some contests, which was very educational and also lots of fun, but what is more, I've finished my first real novel, and though it's very hard to be happy with myself as an author, I am really proud of it.
I'm already working on another great project now and find a lot of joy and hope in it.
I am not really okay yet, I still feel rather shattered at moments (there are wonderdul people around whose support helps me out, though), but I am not going to let this life make me so miserable anymore. I am still afraid of many things, but I am going to try and change the way I live and make it, well, more like I want it.
Don't know if I succeed, but I always found it easy to be optimistic in the summer.
I hope you all are doing well and feeling all right, if not always happy (because life is not simple nor easy) and I hug every one of you who is reading this.
Please take care.
P. S. I remember that when I still used to write journal entries here a couple of years ago, some of you wrote me supportive and inspiring comments I never answered to. I guess I didn't have any energy for that back then, but I want you to know that you helped, and that I am very grateful for that.