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Beauty Beyond Bones

By NasikaSakura
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Amaryllis can signify "worth beyond beauty." Yuna takes beauty standards to a grotesque extreme, most notably in the form of her bony appearance, somewhat hidden here by baggy clothes. She is not an image of ideal physical beauty despite being "skinny." Regardless, she is not "ugly." Beauty is more than a physical body, and there is beauty inside everyone. Just not everyone can see it, nor does everyone embrace it. I promise you, you are beautiful, even if you can't see that right now. There is beauty blooming inside you, so nurture yourself and let it grow. And if you do or wish to physically resemble Yuna, care for yourself enough to seek professional help as part of that process of nurturing that beauty within you. You don't need to fight your monsters alone.
Character: Yuna © NasikaSakura (me)
Dimensions: 4.25 x 5.6 in apx (10.8 x 14.22 cm apx) paper
Materials: Inked lines, colored pencils, gel pen.  
Do NOT steal, use, reproduce, edit, change, trace, make a base of, re-post, re-upload, move, etc. ANY of my works without my exclusive permission and credit to me. It may however be re-blogged by direct link to this page (ie using the share buttons to the right of the image, or Thumb code onsite) and with all its original presentation (including watermarks or signatures) intact, for this is considered a credited 'feature' and not a copyright nor intellectual property infringement.
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© 2019 - 2021 NasikaSakura
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Frozen-Fairyfire's avatar

That's so true! I often tell myself that my true beauty comes from the soulful person I am within, even if my physical looks betray me. Except instead of anorexic, I am overweight (with a few facial scars from my car accident). But even so, I'd give anything to be just a little bit anorexic. I'm sick of being unloved because of my physical appearance, which is usually people's first impression of us.

NasikaSakura's avatar
You should never desire an eating disorder, and it's important to understand that eating disorders are not a body type/size, but a mental disorder. Plenty of overweight people have EDs, but it goes unnoticed by outsiders (often wrongfully praised for weight-loss despite the weight loss method and speed being unhealthy) until they get to a severely low weight, at which point, they may be beyond help. :( 

Honestly, never equate your worth for love by looks. If someone won't love you because of your appearance, then they're not someone worth your love, and you're worth more than them. :heart: 

I myself used to be very skinny and unhealthy looking, largely due to a fast metabolism and celiac disease preventing me from properly absorbing nutrients. I was often criticized for anorexia because of my looks. Later in life I was diagnosed with celiac disease and once I stopped eating gluten, I finally started to gain a healthy amount of weight and nutrients (so, for instance, my hair got much healthier along with other aspects of my physical body). Ironically however around this time I had also began having problems with anorexic thoughts and disordered eating patterns- but everyone thought I was fine because I LOOKED healthy. And after life-saving steroids caused me to become slightly overweight, I had even been harassed about my weight and event told, "maybe being underweight would be good for you" by someone after telling them I had disordered eating (this was in no way a medical professional, mind you). This person was literally encouraging me to give in to self-destructive behaviors and thoughts. And these things are only a small spec of why EDs are so sinister. Wanting to loose weight to be healthier is fine, but it should never be done accompanied with these thoughts and actions, and they should never be desired. 

If you want to loose weight to be healthier, make sure you are doing so responsibly and healthily. Weight-loss is not a "quick fix" venture. Loosing weight too quickly can cause much more harm than it does good. For instance, if your body is not receiving the base level of calories that it needs in a day, whether that is because they have not been consumed or have been worked off, your body is left with no choice than to metabolize your fat and muscle (which is does so indiscriminately) in order to gain the energy it needs to do basic body functions (like pumping your blood, and fire neurons which allows you to think and move). Exercising is important because it helps compensate for the metabolized muscle, but it can't do this if you 1) don't meet your base caloric needs and 2) overexercise. The way you build muscle is that your muscles gain microscopic tears when they are being used strenuously in exercise. The body then uses calories/energy to mend the torn muscles with more fibrous tissue, which is how the muscles grow. If your body does not have the calories in order to heal those torn muscles, and then you keep using those muscles and tearing them further, you can wear them out far too much and cause irreversible damage. One such muscle is the heart. Once you wear that muscle down, it can literally end your life, regardless of what weight or size you are. Your heart doesn't care what your body look like. If it's worn out, it's worn out. This is why those with EDs and who compulsively exercise are at such an elevated risk for heart failure. Talking with a doctor or nutritionist about weight-loss is best, but when those things aren't options, looking online for reputable medical texts on health and nutrition is another good option. 
Frozen-Fairyfire's avatar

Interesting, I never knew that. Thanks for sharing it with me!~ :heart:

My mother says that my current medication also gives me an appetite. I was anorexic before my 20's, but I always had a pot belly since birth, and many my age called me fat because of it. But I never was as effective in physical work or sport. If anything, my constitution might have improved since my appetite improved. But now my belly really makes me look like a pig. And I've given up wearing tights for a long time now. People still call me gluttonous.

But its not like I don't try to lose weight. Naturally I watch what I eat and get enough physical activity each day. Among other things my father and I like to take a 20 minute walk each day. And I never like spending all day inside.

NasikaSakura's avatar
That walk with company sounds so nice! 
Try not to fret too much. Being healthy is far more important than being a certain weight or size, and "healthy," like "beauty," is a best suited as a holistic term. :) 

I struggle to loose weight as well. I think I've mentioned before, but I have trouble exercising because of 1) an ankle injury from a car accident in 2016 causing them to be weak and 2) I have an autoimmune problem with my skin that can be triggered with heat, friction, and sweat- all of which occur during exercise. If I'm not careful, I can actually end up needing steroids in the hospital again from exercising, causing me to gain more weight than what I loose. Needless to say, my exercise ability is very limited. Most of my exercise is simply walking to and from the bus on weekdays now. (But I could not even do that for a long time because of my ankles, so this is progress!) What food I have access to is also very limited, financially and because of dietary restrictions. I've little control over it. But, hey. I try to live as healthy as I can.  \ ( ; u ; ) / Someday resources will be more available and it'll get better! 
Frozen-Fairyfire's avatar

Oh I'm sorry to hear that! :( That would certainly make it hard to exercise. For me I have a bad vascular system and I already have veracious veins. I feel very sluggish in the heat, but I'm usually okay in winter. Sometimes my joints play up too and I feel old and aged despite being in my 20s. But at least I can still move about and accomplish a fair amount of work. But it still makes losing weight somewhat tricky.

NasikaSakura's avatar
I get that feeling, mostly from when I'd have to use a cane
 (which thankfully isn't often any more). I have something that looks similar to spider veins on the backs of my knees after the steroids (I used to have them elsewhere, like on my arms, but they went away in time). The dermatologist said that it was caused by the veins breaking under the skin because of the heavy steroid use. 
Frozen-Fairyfire's avatar

Ouch! That sounds painful! :(

That steroid ointment reminds me a lot of one of my friends who suffers from psoriasis, meaning his skin is always itchy. But the topical steroid cream made his skin too dependent on it, to the point where it was retarding his growth. The best option was to actually stop using the ointment altogether. But his first year without it was hell, but he got better ever since. He says that first year without the cream was the worst year of his life, and he even drew a picture of his skin similar to your picture where you describe your skin spots being stars.

NasikaSakura's avatar
That condition runs in my family. Both my parents have it. My mom's is mostly on her legs and my dad's is mostly on his scalp and face. My brothers and I have not developed it but they do dave dandruff and eczema. My skin is super sensitive regardless, especially with the chronic hives condition. I have thick thighs so sometimes my lady bits get too much heat and friction and I start getting these kinds of skin rashes there. So, when I say "full body rashes," I really mean they effect my whole body. My women's health providers have sent me to a pelvic pain specialist for it. It seems like such a ridiculous problem to have to me, but I do. I'm glad my boyfriend doesn't think of me any differently for it. He's very sensitive, caring, and understanding to me. So, never feel bad for your looks. :) The right person will accept you entirely.
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