First of all: FINNISH FRIENDS! MY PHONE BROKE A YEAR AGO AND I LOST ALL NUMBERS! Please note me ur numbers ;3;
Now that that's out of the way: I'm very much alive and things are FINALLY going to be better for me in just 2 weeks. This time for real I can start becoming more active here. Let's check up on what has happened in my life, (notsonice) story time! ( O wO)/
As you know, my school has been going on for way too long already, you are supposed to finish this school in 2 years, 3 years is also fine. I'm at 4th year currently. At the end of my 2nd year my last internship was cut short due to me kinda skipping days. Not cool, I know, but for reasons I didn't even get to do accounting in there which was what I was supposed to do, so not feelign bad about it. Aside from that I also had 1 course to take. So I had to do another internship + that course. I was supposed to do the internship first, but I didn't find any place to do it in. From autumn, 3 months passed and then my teacher was like "you do the course now" and my god was I depressed. It was internet course so I could work whenever I wanted and all, but it was not appealing to me to do schoolwork again and I kinda just kept putting it aside. Pretty much for the rest of the year I didn't go to school hardly at all. It brought me a lot of problems. For 1 month at spring I was suspended and after that I had to make bunch of lies so teachers wouldn't just throw me out of school. Well done Ulrika. =_= *slow clap*
After I got back to school I talked with the teachers and we got me a new schedule, I didn't have to do that horrible course anymore but we planned that I'd do another big exercise which was something I had done before and I liked to do. Things seemed to be fine now, right? NO. Idk if I have told about it here but school exhausts me, just the idea that I have to do work at home after schoolday brings me down hell lot. So, I was not motivated to continue on the work even though I liked it. As next schoolyear began, I had a flu for a month and I got into trouble again since I hadn't continued on the things. Things went like, REALLY BAD. In one of the meetings at october my teacher cried and all and they suggested that I would take a break from school. BUT I DID NOT NEED ANY GODDAMN FUCKING BREAKS > A< Note: At early September I started to see school psychologist, not that I felt like I had any need for it cause I was honestly fine but school was just bringing me down and I should have just gotten a grip of myself, but she is SUPER NICE and I love talking to her even if I'm not getting any help for anything ehehe xD Also during october my anxiety medicine ran out (I have had social anxiety disorder for about 2,5 years now) and I got really bad anxiety on friday evening. I could not get an appointment to my doctor for the weekend, so for the next 2 days my health was really bad. I couldn't sleep well or eat and I just cried most of the time. Get your medications early if they are gonna run out people!!! IT GETS REALLY BAD ; A;
The break did not happen, I talked myself out of it. I'm really good at that LOL! FUN FACT: MY PARENTS KNOW NOTHING OF THIS. I'm all about honesty but it had to be done. So at the end of November me and my boyfriend were like "yeah we gotta fix this shit" and we started to work on the school stuffs together. I had MASSIVE AMOUNT OF THINGS TO FINISH. He is like the smartest person I know so his help was the best thing ever. We made sure that I was going to all my classes and working hard, soon the teachers tarted to be nice to me again and everything was starting to be fine. So at this current moment, I still have LOOOOOTS of schoolwork to do, and honestly I am stressed as fuck, but I'm at the finish line. At January 30th I'm supposed to start my last internship and before that I will have all schoolworks finished. I don't really count internship as part of schoolthings since it's basically working, so when my internship will start, I'll be free. You guys have no idea how happy I am about that. My graduation got delayed by 2 years, but hey! As long as I'll graduate I really don't care. =3=
~ What are my plans when schoolwork (and school in general) ends? ~
I was going to go to a convention on February but I had to cancel it because the schoolworks take time until 30th January and I would not have any time to do the costume I planned to do. I'm currently still ice skating, but this might actually be the last year for me. My new coach for 2nd year is not the kind of coach I want to have and my old coach quit last year. But even if I continued for 1 more year, I will start focusing hard on cosplays and go to more conventions. I will go through my DA, go through my old drawings and all the things I have unfinished and just continue from there and see where that takes me. When skating finally ends, either this year or next year probably, I might start taking more piano lessons again and possibly even singing lessons. Might start dancing too since that would only take like 1-2 hours a week so not that much. My goal for next year is to find a job so I can start supporting myself and my own expenses so I can start putting more money on my cosplay projects. So art is definitely gonna be more part of my life soon ^^
I still got weight issues, I gained mighty 5kg in december XD CHRISTMAS FOOD IS AMAZING OK? I CANNOT STOP EATING ON CHRISTMAS LOL and if I don't have rules on my eating, I will eat like chips and noodles everyday
But anyway, since I don't have currently time at all to do workouts, I started effective diet instead. I'm very massive lazy couch potato whenever I'm not at skating rehearsals, so outside that I don't really burn any calories. I have a freaking store next to me house where I can go buy food but I'm too lazy to even cycle there which takes like 1 minute so I drive 5min further away FOR THE SAKE OF NOT HAVING TO MOVE. I'm such a piece of shit XD So yeah, I was very unsure if it would work but so far in 1week and 4 days I have lost 2,5kg and I couldn't be happier! Dw I'm not starving myself! Actually doing it the right way this time òwó So as school things go away slowly, I will lose weight too along the way! I should be in my ideal weight at the end of March which is super early and even if it too ka bit longer than that, it's fine cause as long as I am in my ideal weight before June, there is nothing to worry about :3
I'm very excited to lose all the extra weight for good now, mainly because of being able to fit to 50% my clothes LOL and reduce my self-esteem issues, but one BIG reason is also my Ulrich Lyoko cosplay. It was biggest project I have ever done when it comes to sewing/cosplays and stuff, and I'm the most proudest of that too. Currently I don't fit in it and that is why I only used it in 1 convention...well kinda 2 but I wore it only like 4 hours cause it was too tight and I was forced to take it off. As I mentioned before already, I have some things I need to redo in that costume, which is going to be my project for this spring so in the summer conventions you should see me wear it again, as long as my diet goes as planned and I lose the remaining 10kg :3 B I G G E S T H Y P E E V E R !!!!
So, few weeks left for me to be really stressed but things will finally be fine... ;;o;; I wanted to write this after those few weeks but I just couldnt wait cause I miss all of you so fucking much and I can't wait to be stress-free so I can put more time into things I love and be active here again...
Does anyone even remember me anymore? ;w; Kinda my fault though LOL but it'll be changed soon