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Watchers
Hello everyone
I realize it's been a long time since I've updated my journal, and to be honest, it's because there's a lot of stuff in my life that I'd rather not talk about.
Years ago I used to draw to vent out, to feel better about stuff I couldn't fix and to express myself in the only possible way I could find.
But that was a long time ago. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'll soon be 24 years old and I realize most of the people that know me here, don't really know who I am. I always talk with everyone that wants to talk, I love to make new friends, but I'm also very reserved.
But I want you guys to know me. It's only fair, and I think I'm ready to share stuff about me that I usually try to forget about.
I don't mean to upset anybody with this journal, so you can just ignore it if you want lol
I want to tell you guys about my life so far c:
I joined dA in 2008 thanks to some old friends of mine I met in an Invader Zim forum, some of wich I've lost contact with, some I hold very close to me. I met my boyfriend there, actually ºvº
I studied to be a lawyer after high-school. I lasted... 4 months, I think. I hated it, and in the end I collapsed, and quit. My mom wanted me to study laws because she liked it, and she was sure I'd never get anywhere with art. I wanted to be a veterinarian too, but she wouldn't let me go that way either...
I went through a mayor chemical depression after that. I broke up with my boyfriend for a couple of years, went into treatment, lots of medication, lots of tears... it was a mess...
But then things got better. The treatment worked. I was better c:
My boyfriend understood, we love each other, and we've been together since
After all that, for the past couple of years, I went to college. I wanted to become an Illustrator, and earlier this year I passed my final exam c:
I should get my title in a couple of months. And next year I want to study some more, get a Diplomate, learn more~
It's been kind of a wild ride, especially 'cuz under all of that, around 2010, I got diagnosed with a neurological condition. It's not curable, but it's treatable...
Basically, I'd faint anywhere, at any time. It was... awful. Made me want to be locked inside my house most days 'cuz I was terrified of fainting while alone in the streets. And it has happened.
It took years, countless doctors and rushes to an ER... So many tests to finally find out what was it that was wrong with me, and then I got treated for it.
I finished the treatment, and it made it better.
I used to faint around 6 or 7 times a month. Now... 2 or 3 in a year.
It doesn't make it easier or less awful, but I've learned to live with it.
Wich is why I'm writing this right now.
I realized, ever since all those incidents, I stopped drawing anything from the heart. Anything to vent out or that was meaningful to me, because I was tired of feeling vulnerable. Because I always feel vulnerable now, all the time, every day.
This year I did my internship for college and I fainted while being there. I almost lost the job, and they made me work from home. They said it was because they were responsible for me and were worried about my health.
It just felt like they didn't want me there 'cuz I was a burden...
But I recently decided, I loved to draw stuff that meant something for me.
I didn't always share it, some were just for me, but at the end of the day, that made me happy. It was one of the things I loved about art, and I don't want to lose it.
So I'm hoping, soon enough, I'll be able to revive my gallery with the artwork that I love to do
I'll be amazed if anyone read all this, but I'd be also deeply grateful c:
I'll see you all soon~
~ Naon
I realize it's been a long time since I've updated my journal, and to be honest, it's because there's a lot of stuff in my life that I'd rather not talk about.
Years ago I used to draw to vent out, to feel better about stuff I couldn't fix and to express myself in the only possible way I could find.
But that was a long time ago. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'll soon be 24 years old and I realize most of the people that know me here, don't really know who I am. I always talk with everyone that wants to talk, I love to make new friends, but I'm also very reserved.
But I want you guys to know me. It's only fair, and I think I'm ready to share stuff about me that I usually try to forget about.
I don't mean to upset anybody with this journal, so you can just ignore it if you want lol
I want to tell you guys about my life so far c:
I joined dA in 2008 thanks to some old friends of mine I met in an Invader Zim forum, some of wich I've lost contact with, some I hold very close to me. I met my boyfriend there, actually ºvº
I studied to be a lawyer after high-school. I lasted... 4 months, I think. I hated it, and in the end I collapsed, and quit. My mom wanted me to study laws because she liked it, and she was sure I'd never get anywhere with art. I wanted to be a veterinarian too, but she wouldn't let me go that way either...
I went through a mayor chemical depression after that. I broke up with my boyfriend for a couple of years, went into treatment, lots of medication, lots of tears... it was a mess...
But then things got better. The treatment worked. I was better c:
My boyfriend understood, we love each other, and we've been together since
After all that, for the past couple of years, I went to college. I wanted to become an Illustrator, and earlier this year I passed my final exam c:
I should get my title in a couple of months. And next year I want to study some more, get a Diplomate, learn more~
It's been kind of a wild ride, especially 'cuz under all of that, around 2010, I got diagnosed with a neurological condition. It's not curable, but it's treatable...
Basically, I'd faint anywhere, at any time. It was... awful. Made me want to be locked inside my house most days 'cuz I was terrified of fainting while alone in the streets. And it has happened.
It took years, countless doctors and rushes to an ER... So many tests to finally find out what was it that was wrong with me, and then I got treated for it.
I finished the treatment, and it made it better.
I used to faint around 6 or 7 times a month. Now... 2 or 3 in a year.
It doesn't make it easier or less awful, but I've learned to live with it.
Wich is why I'm writing this right now.
I realized, ever since all those incidents, I stopped drawing anything from the heart. Anything to vent out or that was meaningful to me, because I was tired of feeling vulnerable. Because I always feel vulnerable now, all the time, every day.
This year I did my internship for college and I fainted while being there. I almost lost the job, and they made me work from home. They said it was because they were responsible for me and were worried about my health.
It just felt like they didn't want me there 'cuz I was a burden...
But I recently decided, I loved to draw stuff that meant something for me.
I didn't always share it, some were just for me, but at the end of the day, that made me happy. It was one of the things I loved about art, and I don't want to lose it.
So I'm hoping, soon enough, I'll be able to revive my gallery with the artwork that I love to do
I'll be amazed if anyone read all this, but I'd be also deeply grateful c:
I'll see you all soon~
~ Naon
- Reading: ---
deviantID
NaonBlake
Nikole Castillo K.
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
Chile
|
Hi! My name's Nikole, also known as NaonBlake~ I'm 23 years old and I recently graduated from college as an Illustrator! I love digital art the most, especially drawing females, curves and ornaments c: I hope you enjoy my gallery! ^^ I always answer to any comments and I appreciate every single one of them Thanks for stopping by! Have a great day! You can find me on Facebook , YouTube and Instagram ! |
Activity
I'm alive!
Just letting that sink in while I try to organize myself to be active again :v
Just letting that sink in while I try to organize myself to be active again :v
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