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I really avoid discussing my battle with depression and suicide... or at least I did. I'm not quite sure my husband takes it seriously, and I think my parents kinda block the concept of me considering it out so violently that it's almost like they're undercutting my state of mind. Avoiding the issue is not helping.

So now that I got that painting out of my system it does help quite a bit, today I actually was able to get a lot of work done 3 new images on 2 validated so far,waiting on the third, and starting on a set of icons in a sketchy calligraphy style. So that's something.

As for future deviant art illustrations, I'm working on a super hero design not quite happy with her, especially when my husband said she looks like angewoman in my first sketch, and in my head if anything she'd look more like if Zero and the platinum haired cutsie water dragoon from legend of dragoon had a sexy baby and she was trained by Ghost.... her origin is making me think I've been corrupted by some of the effed up yaoi out there.
  • Playing: Sims 4
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
Getting crazy overwhelmed going through all my old stuff 90s to now... a lot of proof that I have been depressed for a long time, but some neat highlights of finding old 90s crap old pictures, old friendship jewelry. Tarot Cards, Faerie Cards and Runes.

But look forward to some old versus new comparisons, when I get home in a week or so I'm totally going to scan in some old doodles I'm finding and redraw them.
  • Playing: Sims 4
  • Drinking: Nestea Zero
5 years since I last looked at Deviant Art. A lot has happened to me in those 4 years, I found my dream job, went to Ireland with work, and then lost my dream job when they downsized eventually removing their Canadian office. That hit me pretty hard and was followed by surgery and family losses. I couldn't really get back on my feet suffering from anxiety and depression worsening pain from fibromyalgia.

Over all I was a big mess, I'm still a big mess, enough so that I qualified for disability for the time being. I'm trying to get back on track with my life especially since I was in such a good place 3 years ago.

I started a comic on tapas… and I think I'll start using Deviant Art again to get back into illustration.
  • Listening to: Holding out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler
  • Playing: Gems of War
  • Drinking: Mountain Dew
I've just launched my new website where I'll be posting most of my new work (reserving deviantART for most of my works in progress) The site has illustrations and photography available for prints and printed on merchandise (like buttons and stickers). As well you can purchase some of my illustrations for commercial use.

The other big reason for the site is to gain feedback and hype for games that are in the works.

You can check it out at
You'd think being unemployed I'd have more time to draw, but I've had a lot of other things to worry about.

I have however been uploading a few of my sketches and doodles on my tumblr if anyone's curious.

I don't really have much else to say right now it's been a stressful time looking for a new place for my career while trying to make sure the bills get payed.
Need to get back at it in illustration, it's kinda been on the back burner.

So have a lot of things though, I'm working on a huge project that's keeping me really busy so with my 40 hour week plus another 5-10 hours on freelance and that's taking up most of my life right now.

I still need to work on a lot of illustrations, and 2 T-shirt designs. I haven't been doing any writing/blogging for a while which has me a bit frustrated.

I have however started doing Let's Plays: I'm starting small with Kirby Super Star, and then we'll see where it goes from there. I plan to do a lot of the SNES RPGs that I know friends of mine missed out on and never got around to going back for them.

Other than being busy I'm also semi-planning for a vacation this November, I'm off on a cruise with my Mom, we're doing a mommy-daughter vacation time through the Caribbean it doesn't feel real yet but I'm getting excited.
My latest Blog Post is a bit of a comparison between types of designers and focuses on the pros and cons of being an in-house designer:…

I'm working a lot on my stock illustrations which I will post samples of up here later since some might work well as prints.

I'm working on a T-Shirt design that I hope will work well. If it works out the way I want it to I'll have to get a few screen printed for personal use too!
  • Watching: Smallville
  • Drinking: Crystal Light Field Berry
Well I'm starting to get very anxious, I'm working on a lot of illustrations with the purpose of selling them as stock vector art. I have to say I don't know how some creatives do this as a full time job, when I get stuck for ideas it's not that big of a deal since I have so many other things to work on. But it's overall going well. When I post the new stuff I'll post links to where they're available to purchase as stock for your use at anytime.

Other than that I'm still anxious about my exam this Thursday, and am trying to refocus on losing weight.
  • Reading: History of Graphic Design
  • Watching: Smallville
  • Drinking: Coffee
I've been pretty overwhelmed lately, what else is new.

With the exam preparations, my cat passing, and summer starting it's been a whirlwind of a season.
It's that time of year where every weekend seems to be a wedding, a wedding related party, a BBQ/get together, or a movie we really wanted to see.
Our own fault this weekend though, with our 2 year anniversary tonight, Green Lantern tomorrow, it might have been a bad idea to also plan a BBQ for Saturday.

I've been working on my exam research and my website lately, I also created a portfolio account at behance:

Other than that we've just been so busy for me to work on any art.
  • Reading: Design, New Basics
  • Watching: Smallville
  • Drinking: Coffee
Wait what? it's 2011, man time flies.

Not a whole lot for updates in the works, I was surprised by the fact that it's been 7 years since I started college. I have to take an exam next month to get some shiny official initials beside my name that denote me an official Registered Graphic Designer and I'm very nervous.

Everything's just stressing me out right now, even drawing adorable dinosaurs and dragons is not very calming so I'm just sticking to my food network and preparing for the exam.

Once it stops pouring rain I'll post some pictures of my garden though, not much, just a few herbs, some tomato plants, and 3 plants that were there when I moved in (2 are yet to be identified, 1 is a rose bush I need to trim the dead stuff off of)

I hope all you Deviants are doing well, my next posts will probably be garden related, exam related, or new website related (slowly been working on a website)
  • Reading: A Designer's Research Manual ... Long Title
  • Playing: Dragon Age 2
  • Drinking: Green Tea
There's a lot of work involving the house so I've been a bit too busy to get any more illustrations completed.

I have an interesting project at work where I'm taking video as I draw with dry erase markers on a light board that's proving quite a challenge and keeping me out of trouble for the most part. I'm learning a lot with this project.

Outside of work I've been working on a new blog about my attempts at weight loss:
I'm struggling with it right now but I hope to be at my goal weight in the next year.

Other than that things have just been boring albeit a bit stressful with the upcoming move and all.
  • Playing: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
  • Drinking: Tea
Haven't updated this in a long time, but here are some dragon sketches I've done recently.

Things have been really busy for me lately, I haven't had time to work on my side projects. Adam and I are buying a house, the closing date is March 30th, so all of my focus has been into ensuring that things go well at work and planning around that.

Upcoming this year from me is probably mostly sketches and candid shots of my cats, and maybe even a new puppy this year if Adam has his way.

Also to note: To help fund my new house and some renovations I might open up commissions during the summer.
  • Watching: Agent JR: Let's Play! You are Empty
  • Playing: Plants vs. Zombies
  • Eating: Kernels Popcorn
  • Drinking: Club Soda w/ Lemon
Finally got all of the portfolio information up-to-date on my website, all that's left to do is find a picture of me that I like. I'll need to take a new one since there's only one bad picture of me since I lost the 50 lbs.

I've been working on a Landing Page lately and a lot of flash animation so my creative juices are lacking.
I will probably ink that Confidence piece in the next week or so assuming I get no critiques between now and then that warn me of some hideous proportions or concepts.

I've been caught up in playing Dragon Age Origins the past two weeks as well so time has been lacking :)

Next major photography will probably not be until the end of November when I go home for a couple days. Current Illustration projects are Confidence as stated above, and I'm working on a "Squirrel Girl" for my boyfriend to have turned into a MTG Play Mat or whatever those are called :p.

Oh and I updated my DA ID with COLOUR!
  • Playing: Dragon Age Origins
Latest upload is a work in progress titled confidence.

I was hoping to get some feedback on her but that's yet to happen. Need to know if anything's extremely out of place before I prep her for inking and colouring.

She's an interesting character. I might write about her sometime, but I hardly have time, I really do wish I could find the time to do these things, but I find I'm always either doing things to make others happy or taking the time I get to relax and escape in a video game.

Maybe I'll get the opportunity to do more when American Thanksgiving comes around, because until then I think every weekend is being taken over with something that needs to get done.

And just a little status update on how things are going for me for anyone who's interested.

- Work: Going well my employers are very happy with the work I've done to get us back on the first page of Google and a much nicer more usable website. And I'm getting my first oppurtunity at mobile webdesign, making a functioning support portal for iPhone :)

- Love: All is well.

- Life: I need to relax, I feel a sinus inffection coming on. But there's just so much to do and that I want to do. I really, really, really want to go apple picking this year :( And I'd like to get back in touch with some old friends, I haven't seen/done anything with anyone in a while. Though I do get to see one for dinner next week.

- Pets: Pewter is doing well the loveable kitty that she is. She's past her 2 year mark. I would like to get another kitty, but the boy toy is insistant on a puppy that we can't afford nor have space for. Though a puppy would help me go on more walks.

- Weightloss: Hovering around the 45-50 lbs lost mark, having a lot of frustration keeping on program, and excercising for longer than a week :( only 10-15 lbs to go you think that would seem like nothing after the first 50.

Well that's it for me today.
  • Eating: Double Blueberry Muffin
  • Drinking: Vanilla Bean Latte with Skim Milk <3
So yeah I lied, I got home today and really didn't want to work on my website right away, so here I bring an update from the Butterfly Conservatory I went to this past Saturday.

Wings of Paradise is a Butterfly Conservatory in Cambridge, Ontario. I convinced my boyfriend to go with me and he tried to help me find butterflies in flight, but it really is a game of patience to get them in flight, so he did help me find some nice shots, but no in flight shots, at least none that won't need a lot of editing.

As soon as they finish uploading to the deviantART ftp these will be up.

I might also upload a couple ink sketches soon I drew a cute little abstract dragon today that might show up soon.
  • Listening to: UltraJMan - Let's Play I Wanna Be The Guy
  • Watching: UltraJMan - Let's Play I Wanna Be The Guy
  • Drinking: Sparkling Lemonade
I'm not sure how soon but soon.

My new website is set to launch by the end of the month, and with stuff at work getting hectic again I'm ready to sit down and mindlessly draw, read/write a good book, or take pictures on a nature walk, or just silly pictures of Pewter.

So once it's all sorted out, and when I have at least a few blog posts prepped for that project I'll be back here with my doodles and photographs.

I recently made the huge purchase of the upgrade to CS5, now to just get off my butt for the purchase of a good tablet.

Maybe I'll win the lottery.

Anyways, stuff coming soon...
Well I've been super busy over here and Premium's gone for now.

It'll probably be about a month before I get back into the swing of things enough to start drawing or writing again, and probably at least 2 before I have anything worth posting, but I'll be around.

Just far too busy trying to have a career to enjoy art right now.

Huh, 3 weeks of Premium left, neat

Journal Entry: Tue Apr 6, 2010, 4:47 AM
So I haven't touched my deviant in  forever, kind of an accident even hitting the link this morning.

But I may as well update.

My novel got planned out pretty thoroughly and then I hit a block, but at least the plans are there.

I've been super busy working long hours because my company's redoing their website.

I've been redoing my own website for it's annual spring cleaning redesign.

I got an iPhone the other day which was expensive but shiny.

And I'm about 7 -10 pounds (fluctuating) away from my goal weight.

And that's pretty much it the point form of what I've been up to :)

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Writing in the works...

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 15, 2009, 7:42 PM
So the updates image wise will be a while, as my scanner is still being dumb, and I haven't taken my camera out in months.

But I am in the process of writing a novel... in fact a series of 4 novels. It's taking up a lot of creative energy, and I feel like I have no time to focus on it.

But I'm moving it to my top priority right now, so I may be posting some literature soon.

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So up and down

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 13, 2009, 2:45 PM
I need to start a new blog... or make use of the old one again... Venting shouldn't go here.

Anyways though, I'm a bit up and down emotionally.

I'm straining and stretching myself to work on too many things at once. And the result is none of those things getting done. The end result of this has no art or photography being done, no writing being done, no game creation being done, diet and mental health have fallen to the wayside.

So, I'm going to try to take the time soon to sort out what's going on and what's priority and try to have something new posted here soon, gotta take care of me though.

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