credit: the charactersin the id above are both made by Tuntalm
go give her some love
Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Julian, I am 25, and I shall be your host through these short lines.
I'm an eccentric gamer, writer, and digital artist. I also have a bachelor in Communications Engineering.
It has been a while since I updated this. I suppose here goes:
I'm a Syrian artist. Yes, Syria, that one country with the civil war. War is a normal state of being now. On February 15th 2018, dA unjustly executed a geoban against my country and a few others under the claim of sanctions.On March 1st 2018 This ban was revoked after this community fought by my side and for that I am grateful. Time and time again, dA proves itself to be a miracle for me.
I survived a lot, more than an average 25 year old should at this point, but here I am anyway. War started in 2010 and took away what should have been the best years of my life.
In 2013 I was suffering a crippling depression due to personal issues that left me on the verge of suicide and self-harm. Getting out of bed was a struggle, smiling was a struggle, eating, living, doing anything took so much effort it was daunting. I stopped finding joy in everything, was isolated from everyone and also so damn lonely. It was a pitiful state of existence, being in the deepest pits of the gutter is no fun.
On June 22nd 2013 I made this account under the name SolidMars. I was on the brink of self-destruction, but I was clinging, desperately, to life. Maybe a part of me knew things would be better and hoped. Every depressive episode took a bit of me away. It was haunting and terrifying to know that the dark thoughts might win.
The first few months I spent here from June to September brought me ttbloodlusttt jojo22
. These three magnificent ladies made all the difference. They saved my life by caring for a total stranger they only stumbled upon because he wrote some angsty poems. They were my miracle, still are
Having someone who cared was liberating. They helped me see life in a new light, showed me there was good left in the world. They didn't know who I am, I didn't know who they are, but they were there to hold my hand when life was too much, which was more often than I dare to admit.
It's been 5 years now. So much has changed. I can proudly say I kicked depression in the ass. Don't get me wrong, life is more shitty than not, but it's okay, as long as I get to do what I want at the end of the day, it's okay.
Life is always about fighting and adapting. It's never going to be rainbows and butterflies, it's a mix of both bad and good. It'll be alright in the end. I have many dreams to achieve and many things I aspire to. I survived a war, I can survive whatever else it's going to toss at me and I'll make my dreams come true. I will fight as long as I have to.
I'm one person, but I can proudly say I changed the world by standing up for what I believe in. I don't see why anyone else can't do the same as well.
We are magnificent creatures born out of stardust. We can do whatever we put our mind to, so before you hold that knife to your skin and before you swallow that pill that might kill you, please remember that you are the world in the form of a human. You aren't worthless, your existence isn't a mistake, you're not a burden either. Please hold your head up high, you are your own person. A unique entity that roams this land.
We all fall down, we stumble, and in all honesty, sometimes it hurts way too much, but it's alright. It's not going to be the end as long as our hearts are beating. Don't let the pain get the best of you, it'll end eventually and things will come around.
Do not give up. Do not back down.