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"Thor," Loki whispered, pulling at his hair lightly, not quite sure if he wanted him to stop or bite harder. It hurt, but not in such an awful way. Writhing, he arched up, rubbing against Thor like a cat in heat. He wanted so much more, but at the same time, he loved how slow and torturous it could be. When he felt the biting stop, he gasped, letting himself relax back against the blanket.

He was so cold on the surface, but inside there was a fire on the inside. This fire demanded more lust and passion and pain. Everything Thor did or said fed it, making it burn harder and brighter, consuming Loki as a whole.

Once again, the lips traced down his throat softly, almost a normal touch, one that he had experienced with his other lovers. It was sweet, not where near enough, but sweet. Loki could not find his voice to demand more. Instead, his hands slid from the soft hand down to his shoulders. Affectionately, he caressed the skin there, waiting, knowing that more was coming.

To his surprise, it lasted as Thor kissed down, his lips gentle and the only time his teeth touched his skin was to gently nibble. It made him bit his lower lip, hurting himself to keep from moaning. Somehow, the fire turned to jell-o, quivering inside of him. It shook him, and made no sense, but if it got him off, he was not going to complain.

"I love me," Thor whispered again, this time loving and directed at Loki, not a shocked gasped jerked from him.

Loki knew he had to reply, but he did not trust his voice, and rightly so. His breathing was jagged, obviously so when he opened his mouth, and his voice shook, husky and demanding at the same time, as he whispered, "I love me too."

There was only a handful of times that they had actually said that they loved each other. As he struggled not to give into the soft menstruations, he tried to recall them all. It struck him then, hitting almost as hard as a physical force, that they had never once whispered it during an intimate moment. They had laughingly shouted it to each other when they climbed tall buildings or mountain peaks. They had whispered it when both of them were sad or hurt from an outside force. They had growled it grudgingly after fights, refusing to let each other forget the bound that help them together. All of the times they had said it was not more than a couple dozen, but it was still shocking that it had never been while kissing, cuddling, or fucking.

The train of thought that came from that was flickering and fading, jerked out of focus every time the soft touches to his chest found somewhere particularly sensitive. Then, he whimpered or moaned, resisting simply because he did not know if he liked it or hated it.

His lips parted, his mind set on telling Thor then and there that he loved him, but the words froze in his throat. It struck him then that it would be wrong. While he certainly loved Thor, he loved himself more, and when he was with Thor, he was with himself. They were together romantically, because they were fucking themselves.

This idea blazed in his might, painfully bright, as Thor finally bit down, hard enough to elicit a yelp of pleasure and pain from Loki. He squirmed beneath Thor, breathlessly begging for more.

Thor chuckled and returned to his usual rough pace. His teeth were rough, uncaring, but sinfully wicked on his skin. His nails were blunt, but agonizingly sweet as they racked down his sides, drawing red lines and making his nerves uncertain if it hurt or just made them raw. As the teeth moved from his nipples lower, biting at his skin, occasionally pausing to suck hard enough to leave a bruise, Loki's jaw parted and soft sounds of pleasure escaped him. He wanted to demand more, but his mind seemed content to just roast in the sudden fire in his brain.

Working his way lower at a pace that was tantalizing, Thor did not seem to care for Loki's wordless please and helpless responses to his menstruations. Instead, he focused on biting every few inches of skin, leaving red rings of teeth marks. Abruptly, on Loki's abdomen, he bit down so hard that Loki actually shrieked. It hurt more than anything, but his body reacted violently, blood rushing straight to his cock. His hands grasped helplessly at the blanket, fingers digging into the earth below.

After a moment, Thor let go, his tongue tracing over the mark. It made Loki realized that the skin was broken. Blood slowly welled to the surface, and suddenly, he could not stand it.

Pushing himself up, he looked down at Thor, lapping up his blood slowly. There was something more erotic than even getting head from him, and the demand was forgotten for a moment. The small, almost delicate flicks of his tongue were coupled with rough scratches to his sides, drawing crisscrossed designs that were not quite deep enough to bleed. It was beautiful, and Loki bit his lip, trying to remind himself that there was something better, much better, and since Thor wanted to be an ass, he was going to get it.

"Thor," he rasped, his voice rough from the shout and his ragged breathing. Without pausing, the golden eyes flicked up, and Loki was struck by how cat like he looked. The thought made his lips twisted into a smile. Trying to sound desperate and pleading, he arched to rub against him again. Pointedly, he whispered, "Please."

A smoldering look made him want to swallow his tongue. Biting his lower lip even harder, he sank back down. Knowing how much Thor loved to tease, he was not getting what he wanted, but he knew that he would get what he needed. Thor was never cruel enough to deny him a need, even if he was twisted enough to deny him something that he felt like he was dying for.

"Loki," Thor whispered against the his skin, his breath almost tickling. His lips moved upwards once again, and his hands left Loki's body, once moving to support Thor as he held himself over Loki again. He heard the sound of a zipper coming down, and then he felt the hand on his crouch, one caressing him through the fabric briefly before undoing the zipper and button, working the pants down slightly. The gold eyes were suddenly above him, and Loki reached up to wrap an arm around his neck, drawing him down to kiss him. Loki's other hand went down to caress Thor's exposed cock, his thumb rubbing over head before his fingers wrapped around the shaft. Thor did the same to him, mimicking the motions at the same time. The feel of foreign skin overlapped with the perfection that made it almost as if he were touching himself. Sucking in a ragged breath, he tilted his head back, exposing his throat, and almost instantly, Thor's teeth found it, biting down roughly, marking him.

Their motions were slow and mirror, sliding down and up, tightening and loosening. All of it was so perfectly matched that Loki could almost believe that there were two of him, and as wrong as it was, he imagined that there was.

Suddenly, Loki was gasping, arching up for more. He wanted more than light touches, and Thor knew exactly what to give him.

"Lift your hips," Thor commanded him, and Loki complied, feeling as the pants were jerked down off his hips. His lips twisted into a smile. The air was not much colder than his skin already felt, but Thor's touch against his skin was like fire. Roughly, his pants were jerked, until finally one leg came off completely. The pants were left hanging around his ankle as Thor spread his legs. Smirking down at Loki, he whispered almost teasingly, "Brace yourself," and then thrust in dry.

It was rough and hurt, but Loki did not mind. One of his legs rested on Thor's shoulder, and his foot rested on the blanket, pushing himself up so that Thor had it easier. The first thrust was the worst, pushing him open without much warning, but the second seemed to only add to the ache. After that, his body began to respond. Whimpering desperately, he reached down, touching himself, his hand wrapping around his cock and miming the too fast thrusts. Soon, it was not too fast, but just fast enough. His body surged towards release, but he held himself back.

Just as he expected, right when he was ready to climax, Thor pulled out of him. His large hands were rough as he pushed Loki. Obediently, Loki switched to resting on his chest, his arse in the air. He was barely positioned when Thor pushed back in. His body could move back more easily, rocking into each thrust. Soft sounds escaped him, begging mindlessly for more, faster and harder. Thor complied, and the air was filled with the sound of their skin meeting in wet slaps. Sweat slicked and feeling fevered from the fire inside, he moaned encouragement.

Thor reached his orgasm, his hot seed spilling into Loki's ass. Riding through it, he reached around, his hand almost painfully rough against Loki's cock, giving him just what he needed to cum. As soon as they were both spent, Thor shifted them so that Loki would not be lying in his own juices, and then let them collapse.

Now on the edge of the blanket, Loki looked out at the grass. He hated the way grass felt against his skin, and this thought seemed to circle through his mind dumbly as he tried to gather himself. It was just too prickly.

"Are you falling asleep?" Thor asked after a bit, his voice sounding groggy, and it reminded Loki that Thor had gotten up at five that morning. He only knew because Thor had wanted a quickie before going to work.

Shaking his head, Loki assured him, "I am not, but if you are, I could drive home."

Chuckling softly, Thor kissed the back of Loki's neck and whispered against it, "Such a sweet child."

"Only when you make me cum that hard," Loki told him, grinning. Abruptly, it struck him that they were lying in a post-sex haze in the middle of an open field, completely illuminated by moon light. Laughing, he added, "Especially when it is to the tune of one of my favorite kinks."

"Anything for you," Thor assured him, but Loki could feel the twist of a smile that belied the sincerity of the tone. It did not matter, because he was not after romance.

Sitting up, he stretched luxuriously before glancing at Thor and asking, "Am I allowed to drive naked?"

"No," Thor answered bluntly, not even giving it a second of thought.

Loki's jaw dropped and then a pout bloomed on his lips. Though he tried to stop himself, tried to find a more mature expression to settle on his features, he could not help it. It was not fair! Nakedness was the ultimate joy for him. He may not have liked being exploited in front of old people, but when they were surrounded by nature, it was fine and fun.

He did not miss the roll of Thor's eyes as his lover sat up. Pushing his shoulder, Thor told him disdainfully, "I am not getting you arrested because the allure of a fast care is too much for your little depraved ass to resist."

"Oooh, my ass is very far from depravted, but if you insist, handsome," Loki cooed. Leaning over, he gave Thor an Eskimo kiss before standing up.

Thor gave him an appreciative whistle before teasing, "I do insist, sexy."

Grinning to himself, Loki worked it a bit, moving his hips temptingly as he walked away. Thor lingered to grab the blanket and their clothes. Popping the trunk, he pulled out a clean pair of jeans and a white wife beater. He would have to take a load of clothes to the laundry mat soon, but his car's trunk was big enough for that. It was merely a matter of remembering to get the dirty clothing out of Thor's trunk.

As Loki waited to get the keys from Thor, he asked, suddenly feeling both curious and amused, "When did you start putting clothes in your trunk? As far as I can remember, you've always done it. Was it one of those, "I am going to run away" things or what?"

Shaking his head, Thor tossed him the keys before confessing, "I did it right after we started fucking."

Loki's cheeks flushed, though he was not sure why. It was not like his parents had noticed. They were blissfully (and willingly) ignorant to what he was doing with Thor. Oh, they made enough feeble attempts to keep them apart that it was apparent they knew, but they never openly confronted him, afraid that they might actually be faced with the truth.

He knew that things had not been that easy for Thor. While his parents went into denial, Thor's went postal. After the heart attack, his father either ignored the fact, mimicking Loki's parents, swore and beat him, or pretended that he had no son. It was not long before it became a well known fact that it was not a good idea to mention "Troy" to Taylor. Thor's mother had instantly blamed him for everything that went wrong, from the heart attack to their inability to have another child. She had even gone as far as to tell Thor that it had to be his fault, he was denying them a replacement so that they could never forget the shame he had caused them.

Closing his eyes, he pretended that he was not still trapped in that room, unable to go to Thor became it would just make things worse. In reality, he was not, and he knew he was not, but he still felt like he was pretending, that this was all make believe and he was leaned into the condensation covered window whispering into the phone, begging Thor to stay strong.

"You okay? You look pale," Thor remarked, his voice more amused than concerned.

Glancing over, Loki forced a smile and answered, "Thinking about how much hotter you were than our classmates. Made me wonder how I survived with such thin pickings."

"Please, all you wanted was my ass. I could feel you eye fucking me every time we had gym together," Thor replied dismissively, not even moderately phased, though he must have know that Loki meant it as an insult. He opened the back door, letting himself in, and Loki watched him curl up in the back seat.

Frowning, knowing that he was not going to get anything else tonight, he sat down in the front seat. Buckling himself, he glanced in the mirror, considering telling Thor to buckle up, but changed his mind. It was not like he was planning on getting pulled over anyway.

The drive back seemed to take less time. Maybe it was because he was forcing himself not to think or because he was actually tired, but before long, they were at the garage. Parking, he got out and opened up the back door for Thor.

He was shocked when Thor stumbled out. His eyes were half closed and he leaned into Loki for a full moment before attempting to try and start walking. Loki did not let him. Instead, he swept Thor off of his feet and started towards their apartment.

Thor was heavy, but Loki was strong, and they moved along briskly. The warm lips against his neck kissed thoughtlessly, affectionate rather than seductive. After a moment, Thor chuckled and whispered drowsily, "You're carrying me."

"Yep," Loki replied shortly, not sure if he should expect anger or not from his friend.

Thor chuckled again and held on tighter. Softly, he whispered, "Do you want to hear one of the things I remember?"

Tightening his grasp on Thor, Loki brushed his lips over Thor's forehead before assuring him, "Anything and everything that you want to share with me. I am here to hear it all."

They had discussed it. He could remember quite clearly discussing it with Nicolas. They were not going to come out, because it would be a dangerous move. There were too many bigots that would be all too happy to hurt them. He did not particularly want to go to a detention center for fights anyway. No one where was worth it, no one except for Nicolas.

He knew this, but somehow, he found it hard to keep his hands to himself. He wanted to reach out and touch his friend every time he saw him. The two of them were not even friends in the general student body's eyes. Everyone thought that they hated each other. Troy would have killed to tell them that they did not hate each other. They hit each other, because it was the closest they could come to feeling something. With all of the cloying teenage bullshit that the idiots seemed to ooze, it was numbing to go through high school. Being around Nicolas regularly at school would have made him hate him as much as he hated everyone else. They hit each other, because it was the only way they could touch each other in public and not hate each other in private.

At least, that had been before. Now, they did not touch each other at all. They had stopped fighting. They were not avoiding each other, but they were not keen on being in the same room. Troy knew that Nicolas was suffering from the same problem that he was: they just wanted to touch each other. Even though bad things seemed to happen and people got mad because of it, there was something irresistible about it. The affection that they shared was more than what anyone else could understand, but that did not mean they had to be ashamed.

Shaking his head, he rubbed his forehead against the cool reflective surface of the mirror. He hated looking at the mirror at times. He was supposed to see the person he loved the most, and though he did see himself first, his thoughts always turned to Loki next. It was no fun. He wanted to only see himself, only see his own beauty. At times, it made him want to cut up Nicolas's face, just so that he would not see anyone but himself.

Except that would never work, because the moment he did, he would not love Loki as much. Loki would not look like him, and that was the only thing that they two of them shared of importance. All of those years of friendship did not matter. They had made plenty of friends as kids. Neither of them had ever been alone for long. It made sense that they would not value friendship when it came and went so fast. The only thing that mattered as that they could see each other and see themselves. Then, every picture was them together. Then, the mirror showed them side by side. Miles did not matter, as long as they could see each other literally everywhere.

Sighing, he wondered why he had to feel so conflicted, wanting to see only himself, but needing to see both of them. Deciding to try and stop it from mattering, he pulled back and turned away. After all, ignoring it was the easiest way to make it lose importance to him. He had seen Nicolas's parents do it to him.

The thought made him angry, but that anger was always read to leap forth. It was bullshit, but there was nothing either of them could do about it. They were both stuck playing along until they got their high school diplomas and turned eighteen. Then, they would not be runaways with nothing to gain. They would be adults with the world to win.

Until then, he would just have to swallow his heart and swallow his pride. Even if the lion inside of his roared in indignation and aggression, he could not even toss it a bone, not without worrying how that might backfire against him.

The sound of a fight reached Thor's ears, and a vicious smile appeared. Maybe it was not wholly true that he could not throw the lion a bone. There was a particular bone, a bit thin and worn, that quieted the lion, at least for a bit.

Rounding the corner of the school hall, he saw several students. They were kicking the crap out of somebody. There was some fun in joining in with the pack, the feeling of unity and group violence, but it was not nearly as satisfying as jerking the strongest guy back by his shirt, waiting until he turned and the swinging as hard as he physically could. His fist caught the soft cheek full on. There was a bit of pain, but it did not compare, he knew. The crack let the others know that it was not a teacher that would have to struggle to pull them off one at a time. They quickly turned, and a few looked surprised to see Troy, but he did not get them time to recover before grabbing the guy closest to him. Bringing his knee up, he hit him the stomach with it, punching him in the face as he went down. The two other guys went for him at the same time, but Troy jerked back, bringing his foot up to catch one of them in the jaw. He went down and Thor tactfully circled around the small group, wanting to give the last bastard enough time to panic.

Unfortunately, it was then that he noticed something that set him over the edge: their victim.

Nicolas sat slouched against the lockers, looking broken and beaten. Suddenly, there was a roaring in Troy's ears, and everything seemed to grow distant and then fade. He came back to find himself pounding a guy's face against the locker. There was a crowd surrounding them now, which meant that someone had heard, which was not likely considering how thick the walls were, or class had let up.

Not caring to ask, he dropped the worthless prick and turned around. It sickened him to see Nicolas still resting against the lockers. The blood that had flowed from his nose was drying already. Carefully, he scooped Nicolas up and started walking. Their classmates parted in front of him, no one wanted to cross Thor. When he walked out of their ranks that day, leaving to take Nicolas home, he knew that he would never join them again.



Despite himself, Thor felt his hands tighten on Loki's shoulder and lower back. He hated that something that felt so comfortable made him remember something that he hated more than anything else. For some reason, it was one of the clearest memories he had. Things before and after it were blurred beyond comprehension, so maybe it was not real. Or so he had told himself. The way Loki had clutched him protectively told him otherwise.

"High school sucked," Loki told him with a soft laugh, but the laugh was too bitter to be sincere. That pissed him off and made him hate the world. Who the fuck were they to judge someone because of who they held onto? It was not Thor or Loki's fault that they had found perfection in themselves and therefore compatibility in each other.

Thor shifted to be more comfortable. The two of them were sitting on the couch now, but he did not move out of Loki's lap. Fuck personality and character, he needed to be held, so Loki would fucking do that.

Loki did not seem to mind. He shifted every so often, his fingers flickering through Thor's hair affectionately, but otherwise, he just sat quietly. Neither spoke for a while, both caught in the memories of how things had been, Thor relying on Loki's descriptions and Loki stuck in his own, unforgettably misery.

Chuckling suddenly, Thor kissed Loki's throat, biting playfully, before wiggling up to whisper in his ear, "Think we'll look back on this and swear that it sucked?"

"I will not," Loki told him sincerely. Twisting, he kissed Thor chastely, looking him dead and the eye and swearing, "Unless we become millionaires doing what we love, I will never think that this time has sucked."

Thor did not like the sincerity, but he was not sure why. It was not like they ever lied. It just was not often that they put a lot of emotion on display. Trying to suppress what it made him feel in return, he slid one arm from around Loki's back to around his neck. Roughly, he kissed him, wanting to feel something other than this soft loyalty that made everything so much more awkward that it needed to be.

To his dismay, Loki turned his face away. Standing up, he caught Thor before he might fall and told him in a tone that was somewhere between teasing and scolding, "Oh no. You were tired, so you're going to bed. It is probably midnight already, and I know you. You'll get up at five even though you don't have work."

"Tease," Thor accused softly, but he was otherwise compliant as he was carried down the hall. He nearly laughed when Loki tossed him on the bed. Before he could, he stopped himself and glared at Loki, who was busy picking out sleeping clothes. As soon as he had, he walked over and began to strip Thor, gentle and almost motherly.

Smirking at the weak protests, Loki did not so much as waver. Once he had Thor naked, he began to pull the sleeping clothes on him. Thor resisted still, but with patience he lacked the rest of the time, he finally got him dressed again. For the life of him, Thor could not explain why that annoyed him so much.

"Are you happy?" Loki asked, kissing Thor on the nose as he took the clothes and folded him.

Crossing his arms and frowning, he snapped pensively, "No!"

Glancing at him, Loki could not have been more obvious about smirking if he had tried. Reaching the door, he tossed his clothes, doubtlessly landing them in the laundry basket. Sickeningly sweet, he inquired, "Why not?"

"You are babying me!" Thor complained loudly, feeling driven to the point of childishly stamping his foot. If he had not been vertical, he very well may have tried.

It was as if Loki knew this, because he hid his face for a moment, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter, but when he looked back, his face was completely straight, and he assured Thor with the utmost sympathy, "I don't mean to. You just seemed so tired. You work yourself to the bone so often that I want to do this to you every once in a while. Thank you for humoring me."

Thor realized that if it had been anyone but him, Loki would have used those words to lay a guilt trip. He knew that if it was anyone but Loki, he would have felt contemptuous. However, it was him and Loki, so he knew Loki was sincerely thanking him, and he felt amused and oddly happy for it.

"Fuck you," he sighed before the smile managed to show. Rolling on his side just so he would not have to face Loki, he added grumpily, "I am going to sleep."

"Okay, sleep well and I will see you tomorrow," Loki said, returning to his side just to kiss him on the cheek. Thor could not help but smile at the sound of retreating footsteps. Even if he wanted to hate Loki, he never could. Quiet frankly, he could not think of a reason why anyone would.
Here is my NaNoWriMo results.
This is unedited. Therefore, there will be numerous mistakes. Do not bother pointing them out to me. I have no intentions of editing this steaming pile of waste. :)

Initially, this was just me practicing writing erotica. Thor and Loki's lives to primarily revolve around sex. About halfway through, I realize how much more I could do with it. There are many details to their lives and their mindsets that would be absolutely brilliant to explore. Additionally, I had no outline, so it was unorganized. This frustrates me beyond belief.

For those reasons, I am going to wait until I am finished with MPiH before redoing this, and when I redo this, I will be starting from scratch. This is basically just a brainstorm/brain fart on my part. Please do not take this seriously.

Their relationship is neither normal nor healthy. Don't whine to me if you don't like it.
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