Sometimes, I feel the man inside of me Other times, the woman struggles to come out In the end, I know there is no end That is why I want to just balls up and shout
You see, this is what I am Not quite a woman But never to be considered a man
What is gender queer? You may be asking And I'll tell you that It depends on whose answering
What gender queer means to me Finally hacking of "what god gave me" And waking proudly down the street Skin exposed and questions raised People as uncertain and confused As when I hide inside of a hoodie Inside of skin Inside of what I could be.
To me, gender queer means That I am of boundaries For the gender binary I am safe from labels Of male or female, at least It means that I can be free Inside of my skin Or out in public
What gender queer means to me Modifying what I have Until I am finally happy No longer leered at as a weak woman No longer mocked as a frail man But a strong individual Transcending skin, maybe dabbling in sin All to find the beauty that surely lurks within
Gender queer means to me To finally be somewhat free No longer trophy or competitor Not just a set of tits or a dick Never a soft woman or a hard man
I'd be known as an individual With a mind, a heart, a sense of fashion All my own
If I am to be known for a part of my body Let it be my hips Not quite "child-birthing" wide Far beyond "masculine ideal" But beautiful and strong That is their appeal.
Looking at my body, making a list of things I want to modify. Long story short, my hips and lips were probably the only thing not on the list. Now, by modify, I don't mean surgery, at least not for all of it. The top dangly bits, maybe, but there are some days when they don't bother me, so I might just stick with binding. Need to do more sit ups, because I want abs, damnit. :I
I: I have serious hips. Like, my mother who has had three kids isn't as hippy as I am, but luckily they are easier to hide. I feel for you though. <3 It sucks not being able to present yourself how you want to. Stupid bodies. :I