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I need a new addiction

Just for you,
I quit smoking

Because of her,
Roleplaying has gotten boring.

Unfortunately,
I can't drink that often.

Quite honestly,
Writing is no longer consuming.

I need an addiction
To help me make it through
Especially now that
I feel like I am losing you

I need a new addiction

Cigarettes
Don't burn my lips
Quite right

Roleplaying
Can't seem to occupy
My long nights

Drinking
Has never really
Been my thing

Writing
Is just running me in circles
Forming a ring

I need an addiction
A codependent crutch
As I lose everything I love
I just have a hunch

I need a new addiction

Nicotine isn't poisoning
The air I breathe

Collaborative writing
Is just trying my patience

Alcohol was sweet
But that changed with the leaves

Just writing on my own
Has left me with nothing but hesitance

I need an addiction
As I find myself on insecure ground
Something nearly fiction
As I wonder if they will still be around
I am not cooping with this as well as I might have liked. I certainly hope that when it actually comes to pass, I will be a lot stronger than this. For now, time to bury myself in reality and blind myself to the future.

If I can see you, you can't see me.
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:icongrim-knuckles:
grim-knuckles Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
something aint right, i wont pry, but try to get out of what ever little hidie-hole you crawled into and atleast try to socialize with the people around you and with the people who care for you
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
I am just being self pitying and whiny. Luckily, it inspires me to write. Unfortunately, I bother my friends and watchers with it. I have been socializing D< How do you think I ended up with such a headache? xD
Reply
:icongrim-knuckles:
grim-knuckles Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
.......well now i feel like a dumb-ass, i mean seriously
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:iconellyemma:
ellyemma Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
Are you okay ?
I like the poem but I can't help but wonder if you're okay
Reply
:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
Yeah. ^^ I am great~ Just angsting in my own little corner xD
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:iconellyemma:
ellyemma Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
you don't really sound great
Reply
:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
it is just a bad case of self pity. ^^U
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:iconellyemma:
ellyemma Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
mhm I guess I don't have any other choice but to believe ya
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
A little faith goes a long way. Thank you dear. ^^
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:iconellyemma:
ellyemma Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
And it's not like I can rush over to ya to see if you're alright so when you tell me you are I'll believe ya
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
Yeah, but even those that can see I am fine assume I am lying. "/
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(1 Reply)
:iconmelancholicdrips:
MelancholicDrips Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Student General Artist
It's a really good piece but... are you okay? =\ Maybe you just need to take a break from things and set your mind straight... then you'll see that maybe RP and writing really are your thing. . . or if it's not.
But I definitely am okay with you stopping cigarettes and drinking D:

Urr I don't really know what to say, since I don't know what's going on... but hopefully you'll feel better soon. :hug:
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
I'm good. Just getting a little mental. I have tried, and it helps for a bit, but I think that powering through is gonna help me more in the long run. ^^ I know that writing is my thing, because I get hysteric without it~
xDD I know I should, and I have tried, but I only get to make these mistakes once~

I probably will, since, it is going to end all too soon. :)
Reply
:iconmelancholicdrips:
MelancholicDrips Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Student General Artist
Haha, it's alright to get confused about what you like and don't like, what you want to pursue and what you want to leave behind... I don't really think these are choices you need to be making right now. I think in cases like these it's time that decides. Just go with the flow, and one day you might wake up, and remember that looongg agooo you used to... i don't know? Urm, change your hair colour every day as an obsession, and that now you don't anymore. It's grown out of you, naturally, and I think that's how most things usually work.

As to cigareetttteesss..... drop them D:< NAO. ahhaha, I'm really against those... my great aunt is the greatest chain smoker I have ever seen - she downs almost 8 packs a day. Constantly constantly smoking, with a cigarette to her lips, and it's just horrible for her life. Not only for her health, but, if she wants to visit a friend or family - people who don't smoke, she either can't, or when she gets the chance to smoke outside - she ends up spending the day outside, and the people she came to visit have to go to her to talk.
I know there's very very little chance for you to have the same thing, but sometimes you can never tell with addictions.
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
:nod: I am going to stick with giving everything time. I know that as soon as Socky comes back to RPing, it will be my world and life line, so I really should quit whining. It just seems like with all of the nonsense, it is the worst time for Socky to not be here...
O: I hope to never grow out of dying my hair. :P
Nah, but seriously. I get what you mean. We grow and change, and it is easier to go with it than resist to cling to the past.

xD I only smoke socially. So if I have a friend over that smokes, I will take a few drags. Otherwise, I don't do it. I've been smoking for about two years, so I think I can manage. ^^ I do get what you mean though. The moment smoking takes over my life, I am going to give it up for good. Right now, I can work out for almost two hours before I get exhausted, so I feel like I am in control...yeah, that is what most smokers say, but it is true, I swear *whiny voice*
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:iconmelancholicdrips:
MelancholicDrips Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Student General Artist
That's good :)
I want to give RPing a try... but I dunno. Hahah, I'm always a little awkward at starting new thingss... haha blablab.

Hopefully 'Socky' will be back and then you can get back to RPing and being happeh. :D
Oooh I've always wanted to try dying my hair... but I don't know what hair colour.... I'm freakishly pale, so blonde is good, but if I go any darker I might just look like the exorcist hahahaha :D

Hrm but still =P but I can understand... just a fun past time to have with friends or something I guess? Haha I don't really know I suppose. Hahaha, well I don't think you're the type that'll let yourself get completely addicted... or at least if it happens you'll be one to realize it and stop yourself. :aww:
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
We could RP if you want. =D I am really good at starting out RPers, and I could get you introduced to some nice people that are epic at RPing. ^^

I hope so too. She and I have been talking, but not RPing, and my heart is breaking. xDD
I am freakishly pale too and I have had red, blue, green, brown, black, purple, and pretty much every color but blond. xD

Yeah. Getting a nicotine high is fun, and it is also a good way to fill the silence. If you don't want to talk, but still want a connection, passing a cigarette back and forth silently is pretty cool. I really am not trying to justify it, just explain why I do it.
And to everyone that reads this: DO NOT SMOKE! It is a disgusting, expensive habit that can make you very ill. It isn't worth it!
Hin keeps me from letting myself get addicted. Sweet little comments like "Don't you think you've smoked enough tonight dear?" "You're smoking again? How nice." She can make me feel guilty without saying anything. xD
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:iconmelancholicdrips:
MelancholicDrips Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Student General Artist
Yeah! I would love to try start out with your help maybe... I'm just always a little scared of writing hah, keep thinking that my imagination will fail me at a crucial point in the story D: and I don't have much confidence in my writing abilities either. But hey! I could always give it a try :aww:''

Haha awe :XD: maybe make gentle hints about RPing? ;D like, SO WHEN ARE WE DOING RP'S AGAIN? HINTHINT,NUDGENUDGE, hahaha -> that's usually the way I go about things hahaha...

Haha wow... :) I want to try dying my hair one day... and piercings and tattoos (less for tattoos but I really like piercings), but my parents don't like those at all. Maybee onee daayyy...

Haha woo for Hin! :D:D:D
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
Trying is the most important step! Okay, first off, it is easier to RP romance if it is just a one on one RP. If you don't want to do romance, we could either attempt to recruit some others (which will be a pain) or do a multicharacter RP.

I have, and she promises but doesn't keep those promises. xD

:thumbsup: It is fun. I wanna get a tattoo, but I hate piercings. They always get infected (though it is probably because my hair is unmanageable and always get tangled around them. My parents are so supportive. If I came home with a tramp stamp that say "slut" my dad would laugh and offer to buy shirts so I could show it off...I should be grateful, but it makes rebelling difficult. :(
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(1 Reply)
:iconhinfallend:
Hinfallend Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Try skittles as your new addiction :D Sorry, in an asshole-ish mood ^^;

Anyways, why'd you give up RP'ing? Last I checked, you enjoyed having 25+ ongoing plots with different people. What happened?

Also! Me and you need to get together, just the two of us, really soon. We haven't been able to talk in person without somebody there, so we can't really talk about anything.
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011
Trying to lose weight. I really don't want to add more sugar to my diet. :3 I might actually try lollies though. :) They last longer.

I haven't given it up. It just doesn't really hold my interest anymore. Kat hasn't been replying much, so it isn't like I really have much to look forward to with the RPs. Just bitchy people nagging me.

We do. :huggle: I have missed talking to you so much. It isn't fair. Maybe I will be allowed to stay this weekend?
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:iconhinfallend:
Hinfallend Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
They last longer and everyone around you makes perverted jokes :P It's a good way to break the ice when around strangers, such as the ones at the old people's home :)

Ah, poor you. Anytime Kat doesn't reply much, you start to lose interest in it. I should have known :P I thought you had this one person on that gay site that you really liked RP'ing with? Wow, that wasn't vague at all >.>

Maybe, if mom doesn't take me to Maryland to visit Granddad and his dogs. :) It will be a win-win situation for me whether I go or stay.
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
Yeah, because I don't get perverted jokes every time I eat meat, mention tacos, or state a preference. xD

Yeah, I know, and it is stupid of me, but she is my mon amour <3 xDD I am, but that particular asshat isn't replying either. "/

:XD: YAY that I can give you something to look forward to
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:iconhinfallend:
Hinfallend Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:XD: Okay then. Lollies will just get tagged onto the long list of foods that cause perverted thoughts then.

You are so infatuated :XD: It's adorable.
Kill them :| Slowly. They are making Muzi unhappy and must die.

:) You do~
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:iconmuzica-chan:
Muzica-chan Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
Yep. I get the worst of it with two brothers and a perverted mind of my own. :XD:

Shush. It isn't infatuation. It is love!
People have lives, eleie. Muzi is unhappy for a lot of reasons. That doesn't mean they should die.
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:iconhinfallend:
Hinfallend Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Seriously :XD:

Uh-huh, totally
:| It does too. Everything that makes Muzi unhappy needs to die and/or be punished horribly. It is the law of God Part 2.
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