Remember - should a unicorn get close enough to touch you with it's pingers then you are most likely dead.
In the unlikely circumstance you live in spite of the odds, thrust several fingers into the gonophore sphincter, wherein two or more eggs are likely to be exiting during its excitable state. This should agitate the unicorn enough momentarily allowing you to escape being impaled on the wildly flailing bile duct.
I have been writting about remotly sensing moisture content of soils from satellite mounted devices for 8 hours for a presentation I have to give tomoro. Quite frankly this is hilarious. this may have prevented me offing myself with a blunt object to avoid the next 60 years of my life as an environmental scientist. Superb!!!!