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  • Listening to: Michael Franti & Spearhead - All People
  • Reading: Stephen King - Different Seasons
  • Drinking: Lemon soda Zero
I have a Facebook for Mutant-art too now (actually for over a year now, journals...). I actually started designing a new website, but lazy me and 'I don't know what to do first'-me have a problem with finishing that. So if you want to watch me on FB: is the place to be.
  • Listening to: Underworld - Rez (2011 Edit)
  • Reading: Stephen King - Different Seasons
  • Drinking: Coke Zero
I like to update my FB with stuff that bothers/excites/interests me, but I'm not the kind of person that likes to update a journal. I like to write about all kinds of stuff, but just talk about my life, pffff.

But it bothers me that the last journal update is 1.5 years old, as if nothing happens in my life and that is not true. A lot of things happen, good things, brilliant things, sad things, bad things, annoying things, I just do not have the need to write them down here, even if they are art-related. But I'll give you a small update:

2014 has been the best year of my life so far, I met the most wonderful person ever and we have been together since the 25th of January, I found a therapist who helped me enormously with a life influencing problem, I discovered what I want to do with my life and working on that (I want to be an adviser based on experience on the domain of mental health), I'm painting and sewing and thinking of new things to make, I met myself again and again and again and learnt new stuff about me (again), I discovered again that money is a bitch if you don't have it but found more ways to deal with it without getting depressed and being more creative, I found new and old friends...

Things will work out just fine for this Mutant. I can do this, I will find a way to deal with whatever happens. Finally.
It has been ages since I wrote a journal entry here. I didn't have much to tell, so I just kept quiet ^^.

A lot happened, this year I died and got revived (literally by the way, but also figuratively) and it had a great effect on me. Physically I still suffer from the consequences, but they don't bother me. I have ideas, I want to do things, I even take lessons in sewing.

So expect more to come ^^ I'm planning on taking pics of the costumes I made so far without skills. I also uploaded my larp-backgrounds, but they are in Dutch.

  • Listening to: Apocalyptica - Fade to black
  • Reading: De vloek van de eksters
  • Watching: /
  • Playing: /
  • Eating: /
  • Drinking: Coke zero
I want to write, but I can't find the words. All I put on paper is just an enourmous cliché. I hate it. Can someone please put the words back into my head?
  • Listening to: Serj Tankian - Feed us
  • Reading: Sherlock Holmes
  • Watching: National Geographic
  • Playing: Conquer 2.0
  • Eating: Just finishes some cheese
  • Drinking: Slimpie apple sirup with water
Nothing new. I restarted painting and try to write again, but I'm not that satisfied. Tomorrow our Art-contest is over and I will post my new painting. I'm very satisfied with that, especially because I didn't have inspiration for more than a year. I didn't score too well, but at least some people placed me second :D.

So look out for my new drawing tomorrow ;)
  • Listening to: Emilie Autumn - The art of suicide
  • Reading: De weg naar Duin
  • Watching: nothing
  • Playing: Age of Empires I
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: Red wine
Out of the hospitals... Finally!
  • Listening to: Regina Spektor - Fidelity
  • Reading: Margaret Atwood - Alias Grace
  • Watching: I have no clue, too much chatter anyway
  • Playing: BF2
  • Drinking: Cola Zero
Well, much has happened. 3 different hospitals and hopefully now the last one. Things are getting better, I can see the bright side again. The only thing I lack is inspiration and I really want it to come back. I want to paint, draw, write, but there is nothing in my head. So let's hope that comes back too with the coming back of my happiness.

Oh and in February I joined a new BF2-clan, so all you BF2-players, join!
  • Listening to: Korn - Trash
  • Reading: Finishing HP4 again.
  • Watching: I think Twisted is playing in the background
  • Playing: B&W2 but I fucking hate the game
  • Drinking: rum and port
Added some last highlights to Blockwork while I didn't feel like it, didn't feel like it for more than half a year. They were hanging on my wall for a few months now. Finally finished my 2-parts-painting of a walking bird (painted the background somewhere in February/March or something). I think I produce better while suffering from a break up. Or maybe it's the booze. I haven't been drinking for a while, not for fun at least and maybe I'm still not. Maybe it''s the combination of both.

The most extraordinary part of the whole story is that people find me more amusing and more loveable since the break up. Well, I am pretty SURE that ís the booze. I haven't been sober for the last 2 weeks (that makes me even drunk before the break up, yes, but before it, I wanted to drown the sorrow I felt that he was causing me. Actually I try and still want to drown everything, but I think I found a compromise... As long as I can drink I will try to stay alive. I think my body will adept to that. And if not... it is a win-win situation ^^).
  • Listening to: Kent - Den Döda vinkeln
  • Reading: several fora
That I entered a new entry. Lot has happened. Guys have proven to be complete dickheads, yet again ^^, but that's already a half year ago, so not interesting any more.

I'm at the second year at school now and I'm sick and tired of it. I hate my female teacher, she is boring as hell and forces me into an academic way of drawing and painting and even manages to ruin my perfectly nice works. Luckily we have a male teacher too and we think the same. He likes my works and really knows how to challenge me.

Wednesday whe had the woman again and I went completely nuts. I avoided her as much as possible 'cause in one of the first lessons this year, she complete ruined a beautifull chalkdrawing I made. But I can't avoid her forever, so I had to go. And here's what we had to do: I'm in the 2nd class of painting (mark the word painting, not drawing, no, painting!), I already had to buy loads of expensive chalks, paints, pencils and more and what does she expect us to do? Draw perspective. Say what? Yes, perspective! Let's draw perfect cubes and boxes on a piece of paper. Let's do that all over again, yay!!!
I know how to draw those friggin' things for 12 years now, I had those lessons for 4 times now in my life, could you PLEASE just leave me alone now with this uninteresting, stupid fucking thing! I've had it with perspective, I hate it, go away!!!! I don't know any painter that uses perfect perspective!!!!  ARGHHH... I left the lesson 2 hours too early, I couldn't take it anymore.

Anyway. I'm drifting around, it's madness in my head. And I'm trying to get that on paper ^^.
I had over 1000 pageviews and I just didn't notice. Shame on me :bloos:.
But thanks to you all :) It's nice to know that people still like what I'm doing.

At the moment I'm advancing in my 1st year Painting at the Academy, the teacher is a little more severe then I got used to in the preparation year, but hey, I'm learning what I like. I did run into a few problems though. Actually, I don't like chalk, not if you really want to paint. I like it in a certain way, for example in that still life in my gallery, I like it when I can make a sort of aquarel-painting with them, but I hate it when we have to 'paint' thick and with lots of colours. We had to imitate the style of Hundertwasser, I like his style, I really do, but first of all, it's not my style of painting, second, he doesn't work with chalk, he works with different kinds of paint, but not chalks and third, I just can't do that. It's too many colours and too many details, I can make one detail and another, but they just don't combine in one big painting. Maybe it would have been different if I had some acrylics instead of those chalks, they just didn't do what I wanted them to do, they don't mix in the right colour, they are too bright when they have to be transparent, they are too transparent when they have to be bright. Bluh, I cursed the chalks at that moment.

Other stuff... I sold again a kijkgedicht (the drawings made out of a word, Schaap, Vogel, Flamingo,...), they are popular, though there are some who think it's pretty easy, but I still didn't see them doing it.
Amazing how the weather got warm again and amazing how my life and feelings changed.
I have a very sweet boyfriend, but he lives too far away. Ahh well, we can't have everything.

Friday is my last lesson at school, and then I will start my painting-lessons in September. This year was in preparation of the real work. I can't wait.

And I love it that ex-boyfriends are unhappy! As long as they will be that selfish, they will never find a girl that'll love them! They didn't see that I loved them, so I hope no one is ever that stupid again. ^^ Oeh, I love that I got over them. *tralalalalala*

*kusje aan Verminlord*
Jeij, I get one week to test how a subscribed member can wander around here, but wtf is wrong with my profile? I can't change my details. Bah. I made a new id.

Ephedra <3.

Schoolyear is ending.
  • Listening to: Modena City Rambles - Morte di un poeta
I took the camera and made some pics of my canvasses. Now I have to make some decisions for the new expo and I want to make my birds-triology... It's getting pretty exciting.
Expo01 ended 30 januari. But in the meantime I already have yet another proposition for an expo... It's hard to believe that a year ago it was just a minor hobby, now it's hard to keep up with the question ^^.

And the ones who thought I wouldn't make it... HA! In Dutch:
Ik heersch jullie allemaal eruit!!!
Another exposition is running. Expo01. And I have fans ^^ and the offer for another exposition in April.

It'll work out just fine :)
Listening Troy...
What to tell... not that much, I don't have the inspiration to complete a work fo Expo01. I miss being in love and being loved.
People are foolish.

Hunt them down.
This weekend was too crazy for words. There was a lot of interest in buying some of my works and there was some pricing... Fuck, why am I still working? In one evening I can earn 2 months wage. Stupidity, I never expected this. WOW...
And I have an offer for another exposition already, this is really too cool for words!

And a lot of people really appreciated my poems. Maybe now the time is finally there to get some published.

And lots of thanks to nolart, lindart, avl, youri, glen and dymphie!!! Oh and to my dad, he sponsored my own url:! I got some work to do ^^.
Look at this…

Jeij :D.

*does a weird lil dance*

uilen zijn gaaf!
2 and 3 October some friends and me have an exposition here in Baarle. Really exciting. I'm going to present some paintings but mostly visual poetry.

And in January there will be Expo01, organized by Smalltown Underground.

Now I'm following Lessons at the Academy in Bilzen. Fantastic, I work and I'm doing the school I always wanted to!

I'm feeling better. No one is worth that much pain :).
They don't get it that I lie so many nights awake. They don't care that I cry for no reason in the middle of the day. They are blind for the misery I'm struggling trough... And then they get mad when I don't act the way I'm supposed to. They just close their eyes and think it's not there when they ignore it.
It never goes away.

Everyone acts to survive. We must survive. Somehow... I think.

I don't need no good advice, I'm already wasted.