I Am Sorry

It seems that I have been saying that a lot lately. I'm sorry for every time I failed to notice, for every time I interrupted, for every time you've had to think of me. I am sorry for your worrying and for your caring...I must have manipulated you somehow, otherwise how could you? I am so sorry for not being there for you when you needed, for not being the smile that would've made your day brighter, for adding to the uncertainty and for being another problem.

I am so sorry for making you doubt yourself. I apologize to my friends and family, I don't see how I could've made myself anymore invisible but I am sorry just the same. Why can't I just be normal, just be happy? I don't want your pity, stop looking at me like that! Stop whispering in worry. Concern yourself with college and bills, can't you see that you taking time out of your day only makes me feel worse? I don't know what I want, if I did then there wouldn't be a problem. The more I think about exactly what is happening the more unsure I am. I won't do anything because I promised...which is something I resent greatly by the way, but for the moment I am at a loss to do anything else but just sit and wait.

If you love me talk about the weather, and if you care then treat me just the same. It's the trivial things that get me by, that make me feel normal and I need them for some common ground.

Again, I will say, because it seems to be needed, I am sorry.