Why is it so hard for people to love themselves?
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By Muse-4-Life   |   Watch
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Published: May 4, 2016
What is it that makes people dislike themselves so much that they are their own enemy?  As someone who has the blues on a constant on/off basis [I'll just call it this for arguments sake] .... What is it that has made this mental hole of mine so deep I can't escape these thoughts?  Feel free to leave your input/experience but this is just my food for thought tonight...
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anonymous's avatar
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kylecaio's avatar
kylecaioHobbyist General Artist
Why you ask?

Is there anyone else who get a better view and feel of one's own flaws and mistakes than thyself?
Oneself is always going to be the first one to take notice of one's own bad thoughts or feelings... Is this getting too confusing?

My point is... It is just natural to take notice of bad things over the nice ones, and your own mind works the same way about yourself.
I guess by looking it that way, it get's better to see why it is easier to don't like yourself than to like.
But what changes it all is that, besides the bad factors that everyone carries, we all have good ones. Not to mention that there are a few things that may look bad to you, but it's actually charming for others!

The real problem starts when you care too much about your problems and flaws that it ofuscates your bright side.

One must ask itself what really is important. The last time one cried, or the last time one laughed? This moment of weakness, or that moment of happiness?

These are reflections which I believe are essential.
I, myself, like everyone else, had my good and bad share of life experiences. When it all looked grim, I reached for the light in my own way. Be it through creating art, be it through listening or playing a music. What really matters is that you get to find balance within your heart.

Well... I didn't mean to say too much, but I hope my answer was satisfactory!
Muse-4-Life's avatar
Muse-4-Life General Artist
Thank you :) I appreciated it
kylecaio's avatar
kylecaioHobbyist General Artist
You are most welcome!
WhiteWinterAssassin's avatar
WhiteWinterAssassinHobbyist General Artist
I feel that way alot of the time..............
Muse-4-Life's avatar
Muse-4-Life General Artist
And it sure gets challenging right?
WhiteWinterAssassin's avatar
WhiteWinterAssassinHobbyist General Artist
Yeah, it really does..........
PictureOnProgress's avatar
PictureOnProgressHobbyist General Artist
Expectations, distrust and other factors play a role in that.
I remember I used to hate myself a lot when I was younger. Found it hard to fit in, and took all the mockery and bullying a little too seriously. Even, every time I was scolded, I just went on a masochist outburst x_x
I cared far more about what others thought of me, than what I thought of myself.

But after a suicide attempt, I pretty much took a 180° turn and now I'm aloof to others' opinions of me if they aren't close, stick with what makes me happy and am honesty whenever needed. With myself and with the rest.

Add to that the generally distant personality that I use as a first impression IRL, and I've saved myself a lot of stress.
So now I actually don't find myself to be my enemy.

As for others, well, it varies. Can be a mix of bad experiences and negative thoughts that were burned in their minds.
Muse-4-Life's avatar
Muse-4-Life General Artist
But isn't that too lonely??
PictureOnProgress's avatar
PictureOnProgressHobbyist General Artist
I'm already quite used to the loner lifestyle
SaviorsBlood's avatar
SaviorsBloodHobbyist General Artist
Any times I felt self disappointment, a lot of my reasons were rooted in a high expectation of myself and moreso a frustration in not being able to attain what I wanted or express myself in a way that had any impact on the people I care about. Eventually it gets easy, unfortunately, to convince myself that I'll only ever be less than where I want to be. The problem perpetuates, and the cycles continues, only I dig myself deeper. It's not easy to pull a 180 after you do this for most of your life, but I have been practicing a method of being brutally honest with myself. But I also focus on what I must do to at least drive myself in the direction I want to go. For example, if I'm not happy with the fact that I wasted away more than a decade of hard, gruelling work to achieve excellence in just a single semester, I accept my faults as my responsibility alone, and refusing to be defeated by them anymore, I leave myself with only one option: move forward with what you have and reach the highest peak that you are capable of overcoming. Because if I don't all, the only memory of myself I'll leave behind is being someone who was defeated their whole life.
Muse-4-Life's avatar
Muse-4-Life General Artist
I'll look up to you as a role model :)
SaviorsBlood's avatar
SaviorsBloodHobbyist General Artist
I'm not perfect. I still stumble and lose a lot of battles. And I'm not saying what I do is full proof either. All I know is it's a dangerous thing to feel like you don't feel like you have a purpose, and it's worse to think that if you did have one, it would be negative. I believe everyone, at least once in their lives, has experienced some sort of pain, downfall, loss, or shame, and it is easy to associate greater weight from these experiences compared to the good ones. Maybe because they came into your life easier than the demons you wrestle with. But we can't turn a blind eye to those people or experiences that we cherish. Teach yourself to see that there is value and purpose in your being, and just because you might not see it yet, it doesn't mean that you or someone important to you won't someday. So face the storm. Overcome it, and you'll be proud of yourself for doing so. Nothing is in vain, even the struggles.
Muse-4-Life's avatar
Muse-4-Life General Artist
Thank you :)
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