MvDC MVFBB - Big Barda vs. Thundra

Talented text and Marvelous music by the Avant-garde Aron Orson
Impressive inks and Captivating colors by the Magnificent MuscleGirlsArt

Backstage…

Thundra [in thought while observing her surroundings]: “…Circumstances aside, the only consolation I have from this whole ordeal is that, while I unfortunately must parade myself before an audience of mostly men, at least it isn’t one of those circuses they call ‘beauty pageants’. How is it that the people of this time can still tolerate such displays…?”

B-Free [approaching]: “Ho, there! Glad I could finally catch up with you—I would’ve spoken to you in the gym area, but when they started herding us into the dressing rooms, I got too preoccupied.”

Thundra [looking to B-Free]: “Hm? Oh—I remember you. You were sitting on one of the benches, attempting to make a telephone call. Which, at last check, I thought nearly impossible due to how our ‘hosts’ have all communications heavily monitored.”

B-Free: “I was able to convince them, believe it or not. I had my reasons.”

Thundra [looking B-Free over]: “And you appear to have the strength to back them up, I’m certain. I like that in a warrior.” [Holds out hand.] “I am called Thundra.”

B-Free [shaking the proffered hand]: “Barda, Barda Free. Though in battle, I’m known far and wide as ‘Big Barda’.”

Thundra: “I can see why. In my universe, let alone my timeline, I’ve yet to face someone of your caliber in a fight, let alone a spar.”

B-Free [arching an eyebrow]: “Timeline? Ah, now I get it—I’ve known a few characters who’ve come from all sorts of places in time and space, some of them rather…interesting, to say the least.”

Thundra [nodding]: “Indeed, though I assume your universe doesn’t have a Time Variance Authority that keeps track of their comings and goings.”

B-Free: “Heard of that group from She-Hulk. No, can’t say we do—just a smaller outfit that calls themselves the Linear Men. So, enlighten me—what kind of future do you come from?”

Thundra: “One built from a peculiar set of circumstances. In my timeline, near the end of the 20th century, a massive global conflict that heavily emphasized chemical and biological warfare had the unintended consequence of sterilizing 95% of Earth’s female population. The 5% who remained seized power and systemically imposed their order on the men of the world—a fitting punishment, considering they’d nearly exterminated the human species as a whole.”

B-Free [in thought]: “Oof—sounds like the nightmares of Herb from down the street. Then again, the guy was always a paranoid sexist.”

Thundra: “By the early 23rd century, women fully controlled the entire globe, and natural childbirth had been completely replaced by laboratory-based means. Men were bred only to fill the roles of servants, entertainers…or breeding stock.”

B-Free [in thought again]: “Yikes—now Herb would definitely have a heart attack if he ever heard that…”

Thundra: “The major power in the world would be the United Sisterhood Republic, and one of our greater concerns was hunting down and eliminating those renegade bands of roving free men, as well as preventing any incursions of foreign powers. I myself was born in the Central Birthing Center of Greater Miago.”

B-Free [quizzical]: “Greater Miago?”

Thundra: “An area built upon what were formerly the cities known as Milwaukee and Chicago, according to the historical archives. I was specifically genetically engineered for strength and endurance, and was sent to a military academy at age eight. At eighteen, I’d already made a name for myself as the finest warrior to come out of the Midwestern Republic, and achieved the rank of officer in my local militia, where I led assaults against the aforementioned renegade males, as well as armies of the Central American Empire.”

B-Free: “No offense, but it almost sounds like something out of one of those 1980s B-movies I’ve caught on TV now and then.”

Thundra: “None taken. I’ve encountered my fair share of skeptics among She-Hulk’s circle of friends.”

B-Free: “Speaking of, what brought you to their neck of the woods?”

Thundra: “My timeline’s Russia had found themselves under assault from soldiers from another alternate future, specifically from the world known as Machus. The men of this world had managed to overthrow their female rulers in prior generations, and used the technology they’d developed for interdimensional travel in order to come here and liberate the men of my world. To strike back at them, I stole their dimension-hopping apparatus in an attempt to launch a counterattack on Machus, but it malfunctioned, and as a result, I was sent back to Earth’s 21st century. Realizing I wasn’t going home anytime soon, I decided that if I could humble the world’s strongest man, I could prevent Machus from coming into existence in the first place.”

B-Free: “But that didn’t exactly go according to plan, did it?”

Thundra: “Not in the least. In order to achieve my goal, I found myself allied with a criminal scientist named the Wizard, and brought onto his team, the Frightful Four. I accepted his offer in order to exploit his resources, perhaps even repair my dimensional travel device. It was when we faced off against the Wizard’s enemies, the Fantastic Four, that I determined that one of their number, the Thing, would be the ideal man for me to best in battle.”

B-Free: “Fantastic Four…Ah, Susan’s group, right?” [Points with her thumb towards the Invisible Woman.]

Thundra: “Right. As our teams fought, it occurred to me that my erstwhile comrades weren’t the honorable type, so I temporarily turned on them—especially given how the Wizard had threatened Susan’s son. Later on, at the Wizard’s behest, I formally challenged the Thing to a fight at a stadium in the settlement called Queens, New York; both of us trained heavily before the appointed day. The battle was going highly in my favor, due to the Thing’s reluctance to fight a woman. I would’ve achieved victory, had his teammates not used a device of theirs to revert him to his human form. I couldn’t in good faith continue the fight now that my opponent was weaker, so reluctantly I forfeited the bout—but not without ‘persuading’ the Wizard and the rest of the Frightful Four to release me from their ranks, as well as their hostage, the Thing’s lover. I ended up allying with the Fantastic Four on occasion, even helping them against the Frightful Four at a point; they in turn helped me against Machus, and their own champion, Mahkizmo, when they took me back to my own time. The Fantastic Four destroyed Machus’s mind-domination machinery as a way to force both the United Sisterhood Republic and Machus to settle their differences; I returned with them to their own time, both to ensure Mahkizmo would be incarcerated and to make sure my world wasn’t changed because of the other-dimensional men’s presence.”

B-Free: “I’m guessing you became something of a free agent afterwards?”

Thundra: “Indeed. I was hired by Nth Command, a subsidiary of the oil company Roxxon, to lead a sabotage mission into the US government energy research facility Project: Pegasus, commanding a group of female professional wrestlers-turned-operatives called the Grapplers. In exchange, they would send me to a divergent version of my timeline, one where there was never an invasion by Machus. I was apprehended in the course of my mission, but cooperated with the authorities in order to track down those who hired me. I ultimately got what I wanted in the end, thanks in part to some assistance from the Thing.” [A small smile appears on her face.] “He’s proven to be a very notable exception to my views on men—probably one of the few I’d most learned to admire. Because of him, I was able to use a device created by Nth Command to open a portal to the divergent future, and became the ruler of that world’s United Sisterhood, turning it from a republic into an empire.”

B-Free: “Sounds like quite a step up from being a militia commander.”

Thundra: “Though not without its difficulties. Eventually, my empire became embroiled in a war with the extradimensional kingdom of Polemachus—no relation to Machus, before you ask—and its chauvinist of a ruler, Arkon. I actually called upon both the Fantastic Four and the Avengers to assist me in my fight, but in the process, Arkon and I developed a strong attraction to one another. Our conflict ended when we became lovers, with me becoming his consort for a time. Together, we staved off both natural disasters that nearly befell his world, and coups that threatened his rule from within. Yet, I could not totally abandon my responsibility to the United Sisterhood.”

B-Free: “Which meant you returned to them after a time.”

Thundra: “Correct. I knew that I couldn’t rule the Sisterhood in perpetuity, so I and my best scientific advisors worked out a plan, one that would give me a worthy offspring to succeed me. To that end, I again traveled back to the present, this time to challenge the self-described ‘strongest there is’: She-Hulk’s cousin, the original Hulk himself. In truth, my fight with Bruce Banner’s gamma-powered self was a way for me to get samples of his DNA, at which I did succeed. Unfortunately, my time machine was out of commission for a good while, so until it could be repaired, I bided my time working with She-Hulk’s incarnation of the Lady Liberators when they fought against a mysterious Red Hulk who’d suddenly appeared. I actually found myself working with the Red Hulk for a time until my machine was repaired and I was able to return.”

B-Free: “…Quite a lot to go through, just to have a child.”

Thundra: “But worth it in the end, in my view. My daughter, Lyra, is as skilled and powerful a warrior as I am.”

B-Free: “Do you let her see her father at all?”

Thundra: “I actually have her living with him and his family—Dr. Banner has certainly built an interesting one, at that. She-Hulk actually convinced me to let her—said it would be good for her development as a person.”

B-Free: “I’d say she’s right, based on how you described your upbringing. I certainly wouldn’t want her to go through mine. You and I are actually alike, in a way.”

Thundra: “How so?”

B-Free: “We were both born and bred in a lab—but that aside, you may describe how your timeline emerged from a hellscape, but I’ll tell you this: it’s nothing compared to growing up on Apokolips. It’s as close to Hell without going below the ground. Man or woman, it doesn’t matter—on Apokolips, everyone suffers all the same.”

Thundra: “Hm—Knockout did mention back in the gym that Apokolips was a truly horrific place.”

B-Free: “We both lived through it, so we speak from experience. As I said, I was bred in one of the planet’s gestation labs, where I and others conceived there had our genes selected by Darkseid himself, based on qualities he desired in his followers the most: ruthlessness, avarice, cruelty…Yet, I stood out from the other children created there, in that I was born through natural means; I was taken away as soon as I was born, for the longest time never knowing my mother, Big Breeda. When I was of age, I was then sent to be raised at the orphanage presided over by one of Darkseid’s most cruel followers, Granny Goodness. Under her guidance, I was raised to one day lead Darkseid’s elite team of women warriors, the Female Furies, of whom Knockout was a member; had you been a denizen of Apokolips, you probably would have become a Female Fury as well.”

Thundra: “I should consider myself fortunate then—Knockout painted a rather horrendous portrait of this Granny Goodness.”

B-Free: “Indeed. However, things changed for me one day, after I met the love of my life. In the middle of a raid, I happened upon Scott Free, Darkseid’s adopted son.”

Thundra: “Adopted?”

B-Free: “Apokolips and its peaceful counterpart, New Genesis, had years ago declared a pact of nonaggression, sealed by the exchange of sons between Darkseid and the ruler of New Genesis, Highfather Izaya. Yet Scott proved to have a strong desire to escape Apokolips; when I met him, there was this peace about him that attracted me, who had long been raised in the ways of war and conflict.” [A wistful look appears on her face.] “I couldn’t help but fall in love with him, to the point where I risked my own life to help him escape Apokolips. He inspired me to turn my back on Granny and the Furies, and with his help, I made my own escape from that wretched place. Some time later, Scott and I were married, with Highfather’s blessing. We made our way to Earth, where Scott became a professional escape artist under the name ‘Mister Miracle’, having studied under the original, Thaddeus Brown. It was an interesting transition for me, but I actually took to Earth domestic life enthusiastically. It was an odd setup at the house in the suburbs we acquired, as in addition to Scott and myself, we share our abode with his manager, Oberon, and Scott’s protégé, Shilo Norman.”

Thundra [surprised]: “Wait—you’re built like a warrior, with the skill and strength to match, and yet you imply that you enjoy being a housewife?”

B-Free [shrugging]: “After being born and raised on Apokolips, I considered it a great change of pace. But, I’ll have you know, I didn’t completely abandon my warrior side—especially when Darkseid sent his minions, including the Furies, after us every now and then. Outside battle, I did find ways to put my talents to use—I briefly got into professional wrestling, and even started teaching self-defense for women. Scott and I have had very few rough patches in our marriage, even a brief separation, but we’ve found ourselves able to make it work. And we made some friends along the way, even joined the Justice League. You mentioned how that man, the Thing, proved to be an exception to your views on all men; I have a feeling that if you meet him, my Scott would also fall into that category as well. He may get a little too into his ‘work’, but he’s still as reliable, honest, and kind-hearted as they come.”

Thundra [a small smile on her face]: “He does sound like a good man.”

B-Free [nodding]: “That he is.”

Thundra: “Do you have any children yourself?”

B-Free: “Two—a daughter, Avia, just turned four this year; and her younger brother, Jacob. It’s why I asked our ‘hosts’ for the phone call—I wanted to make sure they and Scott were all right.” [Looks around briefly, eying some of the security present.] “It’s also a way for me to help us all get out of this, something Power Girl suggested back at the gym earlier.”

Thundra: “You think your husband can help us in some way?”

B-Free [a small, knowing grin on her face]: “As I mentioned, my husband’s whole profession revolves around getting out of dangerous predicaments—if anyone can come up with an escape plan for a superpowered bodybuilding contest, I put my faith in Mister Miracle.”

Thundra [briefly mirroring the grin]: “Then I suppose I’ll put a little faith in Mister Miracle, too.” [The roar of the crowd gets her attention briefly.] “We’re up, soon.” [Takes off her sweatpants.] “If and when we get out of this, I’d be honored to spar with you, warrior to warrior.”

B-Free [removing her hoodie]: “I’ll gladly take you up on that. Until then, good luck—and fingers crossed that Scott comes through for us.”

--X--

Main stage…

Promoter: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re down to the second-to-last pairing of contestants in the bodybuilder division! For our competitor from Multiverse-A, like our earlier contestant Knockout, she’s led a real hard-knock life on one of the worst places in the known universe, the planet Apokolips. Raised from birth to be one of the notorious Darkseid’s Female Furies, a fittingly miraculous happenstance led her to cross paths with her future husband, inspiring her to forsake her intended role to get away from it all, Scott-free! She may have traded her warrior’s life for a more domestic one, but if there are heads needing to be busted, she won’t hesitate to pick up her Mega-Rod and go to town! She’s been a Justice Leaguer, and more recently a Bird of Prey, but either way, she’s about the most badass housewife you’ll ever encounter in a supermarket, if you’re lucky! So, give a BIG round of applause to…BIG BARDA!”

[Needle-drop: “I Cried for You” by Lainie Kazan.]

--X--

Promoter: “Big Barda, ladies and gentlemen! Now, let’s meet her opponent from Multiverse-B, a woman warrior like no other. She hails from a future that’s every man’s worst nightmare come to life, a future that is definitely female the world over! Kicking ass and taking names since she was eight years old, this champion of the Femizons has gone toe-to-toe with her Earth’s toughest, male or female, and always managed to put up a good fight! She reigned alongside the ruler of Polemachus, and over her own United Sisterhood Empire, but will she take the crown here at our own competition? Only one way to find out, as we welcome to the competition the one, the only—THUNDRA!

[Needle-drop: “I Am Woman” by Helen Reddy.]