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I thought this would be a perfect time to write. At the end of another academic year, I am thinking of leaving school for good. I told my family about this before, what they told me was to not leave school just to delay becoming a conscript and such. But apparently, what they really meant was, finish school. Ignoring my pleas.

You know what, I cannot. I do not have what it takes. It has been 7 years since i joined, and I did not make much progress. Only thing it made me, is miserable.

I have been taking anti depressants since my two therapy sessions. I stopped taking it after 9 months or so. Even though I reduced the amount in some time, I have suffered withdrawals at the end. It was like lightnings in my brain with every little vibration. It totally sucked. Never again.

One thing I realized though, therapists are doing it just for the money. I am not even sure it works. How can you know for sure if you cannot quantify it? I can quantify the money I gave him though. He did not even tell me anything I did not know already. Oh maybe one single thing. Which is; that my condition was because of the situation I was in.

So, fix the situation, and as a result have yourself fixed. And it worked I should say. I did not even go to school for a whole year. I can see that I feel better than before. Productive with my hobbies again.

I have also accepted things and made my peace with it. Even with all the investments my family has made in me, I am not someone smart, I am anxious, introverted. But you know what? Like it or not, I am what I am.

My family does not know that I do not go to school anymore. And they will not know when I leave.

I do not have any plans for the future, All the plans I had went to shit already. Now I am thinking of one thing, perfect time to leave school completely. Maybe then I could become a man in my own eyes, rather than a 25 year old man-child who never makes a decision on his own.

After all that, I will become a conscript. If I do not end up dead, I will think of something else to do with my pathetic life.

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:iconace-mat:
ACE-Mat Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2018  Professional Digital Artist
13 Commissioner-s by ACE-Mat  
Thanks for visiting the BPD
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:iconmythiril:
Mythiril Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Wave by chil96
Thank you kindly for the watch. I hope you'll keep enjoying my work as long as I keep on terrorizing dA :giggle:
btw, you're an awesome person. Have a great day :heart:
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:iconladymidnightsolace:
LadyMidnightSolace Featured By Owner May 6, 2015
Thanks so much for the watch! :huggle:
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:iconmaxsmeagol:
maxsmeagol Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! Really appreciate it! :D
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:iconjessicasalehi:
jessicasalehi Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013
Thank you for the watch!
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:iconsanjun:
sanjun Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012
Thanks a lot for fav!
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:iconkristinaorjala:
kristinaorjala Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconm7781:
m7781 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2011
thanks for the watch!
much appreciated!!!
:flagcanada:
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:iconlady-blueberry:
Lady-Blueberry Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the watch :)
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:iconlemmy-x:
Lemmy-X Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011   Digital Artist
:iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconsparklesplz::iconmoonplz::iconsparklesplz:
:iconmagpieplz: - Thanks for the :+fav:s ! - :iconenglishrobinplz:
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