So everybody’s been ranking Star Wars movies as of late, so here’s my list of Star Wars movies ranking best to worst in my opinion. I'm okay if everybody's entitled to their opinions but I'd appreciate it if some expressed disappointments be kept to themselves.
1. Return of the Jedi
I may be accused as a blasphemer for saying this, but I love Return of the Jedi than any other Star Wars movie. And, no, it’s not because of Leia’s duds as Jabba’s prisoner. You see, this is the movie with the best space battle ever. I keep watching it over and over again. And it’s the fact that it also has the best of the Star Wars music ever, with a boatload of lots of action music, so kudos to John Williams. Plus, I still enjoy Chewie hijacking a chicken walker and Luke kicking all sorts of scumbags over the Pit of Carkoon. Plus, who doesn't love Leia choking the crap out of the grossest of gangsters in Jabba the Hutt? What I'd give to see Princess Jasmine do that.
2. Revenge of the Sith
Again, call me a blasphemer for including a prequel movie so high in the ranks, but there’s no denying that it has the Best. Opening. Ever. As I indicated, I love the space battles most in Star Wars movies, and I’d almost give Episode 3’s opening space battle at tie to the Battle of Endor. And John William’s exciting music drives the point home. And what I especially love is the climactic double duel that takes place, not just Anakin and Obi-Wan, but also Yoda and Sidious. It was so exciting in many ways, and I don’t care about what everybody thinks. In addition, however the heck you think of Hayden Christensen, I’ve always liked him better with the mullet and the scar in this one. Of course, it would’ve tied with Return of the Jedi were it not for the occasional Padme moments; nobody pays attention to the lovey-dovey stuff anyway.
3. Rogue One
Again, call me a blasphemer for putting a spinoff movie so high in the list, but again, it boils down to the space battles. Indeed, Rogue One’s space battle is so far Post-Disney Lucasfilm’s best. That and the ground battle of Scarif, casualties notwithstanding, makes it my favorite part of Rogue One. It reminds me of the Battle of Endor in so many ways, and it makes me think that there should be a Star Wars battle like Scarif and Endor that ought to throw in everything but the kitchen sink to resolve a trilogy. Given Gareth Edwards was known for monster movies (Monsters and, later, Godzilla 2014), I was a little disappointed that there wasn’t a rancor featured, and the closest “big” monstrosity they had were the AT-ATs. To cap it all off, a thing that makes Rogue One great that I can agree upon is ethnic diversity, with many different actors of different ethnicities playing the gang led by Jyn Erso. Not to mention Alan Tudyk’s K2 steals the show more than Artoo and Threepio, being one sarcastic droid.
4. The Last Jedi
Again, call me a blasphemer for putting a movie lots of fans hate so high in the list, but I thoroughly enjoy Episode 8. Well, there could be some improvements (like which deleted scenes should’ve remained), but I’m not a noisy rabid fanboy. I liked how cool Rey was looking more and more (she looks better with her hair down, for instance, as opposed to that ugly hairstyle she sports). Plus, I enjoyed Poe’s mutiny against Holdo, who in my opinion, is the closest thing Star Wars has to Dolores Umbridge, results notwithstanding. And when it boils down to it, Mark Hamill’s performance was excellent; aside from voicing the Joker, this was Mark Hamill at his best. As for the space battle, it’s a disappointment to me; it’s not so much a battle as it is a massacre. And Kylo Ren needs more than a scar to keep up a good appearance without his mask (they should’ve took a leaf out of the concept art and made him bald. At least ‘stache him up!) despite what he does. And out of respect to Kelly Marie/Loan Tran, I won’t go into Rose…other than say that her fangirling at Finn in her first appearance is entirely unnecessary.
5. Empire Strikes Back
Yes, call me a blasphemer again for putting this so far down the list (as Empire makes the top of most lists), but any lower, and I could be ostracized like a leper. May as well get it out of the way. Don’t get me wrong, Empire is an excellent movie, it’s just that more excellent and more cooler stuff in other Star Wars movies places this so far down the list. The chase through the asteroid field certainly makes up for the lack of space battles, and the music is excellent, especially on the Battle of Hoth. Not to mention Frank Oz has given an excellent performance as Yoda. In addition, at least Han and Leia’s relationship isn’t as mushy as Anakin and Padme. Speaking of the Battle of Hoth, I like to think of it as a draw: Much as the Rebellion lost a base, they made it out with their butts intact, while the Empire had nothing much to gain. Also, who doesn’t love the plot twist to end all plot twists?
Box office disappointments notwithstanding, at least it’s better off in Ron Howard’s hands. I hate to think was Lord and Miller’s result would’ve been (something that would’ve made Joss Whedon’s Serenity look like Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs, probably). I mean, if they were encouraging improv, for one thing, things would’ve been worse (especially with Emilia Clarke in the cast; can you imagine Dany Targaryen doing comedy improv? Sounds as correct as Whoopi Goldberg shooting Predators). They really nailed getting a young Han, though, and Woody Harleson does an excellent job here (bonus points if you remember him from Hunger Games and War of the Planet of the Apes. Extra bonus points if you recognize him in Emmerich’s 2012) as Han’s sort-of mentor. I’ve immensely enjoyed the Kessel Run; it goes to show you that some Star Wars spinoff movies won’t need a space battle to have an enjoyable movie. Not to mention they once again had a droid that steals the show in L3-37. A step up from K2 from Rogue One, although I feel there’s one other droid that would do as much damage, if not more, than L3, and that’s KOTOR’s HK-47. And while I’m on the subject of Dany Targaryen, I will point out that Post-Disney Lucasfilm seems to have quite the habit of taking Game of Thrones girls and making them baddies (re: The Chrome Dome of Tarth, aka Captain Phasma). With that twist at the end with Darth Maul, I’m still acceptant of the theory that Qi’ra is Rey’s mother; heck, sired by Han, too, albeit the fetus would’ve taken an extremely long time to develop (delayed action pregnancy?)
7. The Force Awakens
I can absolutely agree the sequel trilogy could’ve opened in a better way, and expectations were disappointing; I had expected a slight follow-up to the now-called Legends stuff, like Jaina Solo taking on an apprentice (and Jaina being played by Swedish actress Noomi Rapace, which would make sense, as Jaina ought to be thirtysomething and Noomi would have a close semblance of being a Han/Leia daughter). Hearing about Domhall Gleeson, being cast, I expected him to play Ben Skywalker, son of Luke and Mara Jade (seriously, it made sense; I expected someone ginger). Heck, when I heard about GoT’s Gwendoline Christie, I expected a lady Wookie (given her 6’3” height), not the Chrome Dome of Tarth. I still don’t like Adam Driver as Mama’s Boi Kylo Ren, but I’d like him better with a ‘stache. There are still plenty of things making up for it, like Han’s reunion with the Falcon (though, I will say, I did see Han’s death coming, as it occurred to me that Harrison Ford wanted Han killed off). I better stop here, otherwise I won’t stop ranting about how Jar Jar Abrams disregarded the Legends series to make Mama’s Boi Kylo Ren, etc.
8. A New Hope
Well, it is plenty enjoyable, but sometimes the old Star Wars being old makes me like the other movies better. At least they improved things in the Special Edition, although I do agree they should’ve kept “Han Shot First.” And the Special Edition did make the dogfight around the Death Star better, as opposed to the original release (now it’s the old folks’ turn to call me a blasphemer). Plus, there are still plenty of quotable moments (“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy,” “what a piece of junk,” “look at the size of that thing,” etc.) and there’s no denying Alec Guinness has done an excellent performance as Old Ben/Obi-Wan Kenobi. And once again, the old sounds notwithstanding, kudos to John Williams for the music.
9. The Phantom Menace
Don’t get me wrong, it’s still an enjoyable movie, but it’s good it’s down far in the list to satisfy all who hate it. Jake Lloyd was okay as kid Anakin; you think he’s whiney? Try hanging around real nine-year-olds sometime. At least Little Annie seemed a little more mature than most nine-year-olds I’ve known. And Jar Jar would’ve been better if it wasn’t for the accent; I’m still waiting for a fandub where Jar Jar is given a proper vocal (“I am Jar Jar Binks” for instance, in a suave, cool accent, instead of “Meesa Jar Jar Binks” with partial marble-mouth). I still love the space battle, though; that and Darth Maul and Qui-Gon make up for the Episode One.
10. Attack of the Clones
Yes, it seems I’m agreeing that Attack of the Clones easily makes the “Worst Star Wars” spot, but I wish to point out that were it not for the mushy Anakin/Padme scenes (not all of them are that bad, though), I would’ve advanced this up to sixth or seventh place, though some other people might agree with me in that perspective. I loved the action and mystery, even if I was disappointed, when I first saw it when it came out, that the closest thing they had to a space battle was a dogfight between Obi-Wan and the Fetts. The climactic gladiator arena and eventual battle was, in my opinion, the best part of the movie. The escalation was excellent; look how it escalates from a simple gladiator execution to the Jedi onslaught to the Clones’ arrival all the way to the field battle, eventually culminating with Yoda versus Saruman…I mean, Dooku (who, by the way, would’ve been evil Jar Jar if people didn’t hate him so. Surprise). And, again, the music makes up for it.