Tsukasa-Killed by Knife Stab

Someone doesn't like moeblobs.

Will you be remaking the other picture as well? The one with Hiyori?

Or perhaps go for someone else this time? Maybe Konata or Kagami? <w<

I can see how you improved the shading technique (the original had that "let's blur everything on skin" approach that plagues a lot of drawings), but if I were you I'd try experimenting with line weight as well. The lineart is more or less the same everywhere, on the character, her clothes and the background element. I tend to try and give more delicate materials thinner lines, and more robust ones thicker lines. Even without line thickness variation on each line, this kind of thing provides variation and prioritises elements in your illustration.

Another thing to try in a picture with a more extensive background would be to use thinner lines for BG elements in the distance and thicker ones on the characters that you want people to focus on. There are a series of articles by Telophase on this and other topics: [link]