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Deviant for 8 Years
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The Man Named Nick
He's got that little heart
placed over his real one
the voice of an angel
and the soul of one too
brings together so many
helping friendships form and love to spread
That soul of his
radiates out
and touches those around him
it's that little heart
over his real one
that connects us all
to the man named Nick
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Nevermore by mrsbilliejean Nevermore :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 0 0 Nick Pitera Painting by mrsbilliejean Nick Pitera Painting :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 0 0 My new tattoo! by mrsbilliejean My new tattoo! :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 0 0
Why am I so scared
of the demons inside?
I've beaten before
but why do I think I won't now?
Why am I so scared
of trusting someone so far away
with parts of me
no one else knows?
Why am I so scared
that I'm not going to win this time?
Why do I feel like
this battle is going to be harder?
Why is this happening once again
when it was getting better!?
Why am I so scared
of these demons inside?
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I'm Scared
It’s hard to comprehend that it’s been nearly two years since I’ve seen your face. I’m trying to picture how it use to be and what it might look like now. But the images are fading with each day and I’m finding myself hopelessly holding onto the memories of you. I’m scared. I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to forget. I’m scared.
I wish you were here. I feel like each day is passing and it’s getting harder and harder to remember what you were like. I’m having a hard time remembering your laugh, your smile. I wish you were here. I’m so very scared.
I stopped pushing people away because of you. I had courage because of you. But it’s slipping. I’m scared. I don’t want to be scared again. I don’t want to revert back to how I was before you. I want to keep opening up to people, but I’m afraid again.
Someone just hurt me, in one of the worst ways I can imagine. I feel used by this
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As an Incense burns
There's so much to be learned
as an incense burns
you watch the smoke rise and begin to wonder
will your life ever be that fluid?
will your life ever blend in such a way?
you watch the smoke rise and think
will life ever be as simple?
but as the stick comes to the end
and the smoke blows out
you remember that nothing ever lasts
you remember life isn't that simple
nor is it that fluid
and that anything good that happens in your life
will not last
There's so much to be learned
as an incense burns
but what you learn
depends on you
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Charity by Just Fab shoes by mrsbilliejean Charity by Just Fab shoes :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 1 2 Spider by mrsbilliejean Spider :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 0 0
I realized that I loved him while I was away, learning to be an artist/actress. It took many hours of examination and experimentation with many people to realize that he was the one for me. I vowed that I would not let him get away, and that I would snatch him up when I finally went home for the holidays. Lucky for me, he split from his girlfriend over the summer and was still very much a single man.
It made me laugh, silently of course, that I was about to go and seduce my high school theater teacher, during my winter break. I finished signing in and turned towards the theater, smiling as I read the text that he would be having his class in there that day. I had timed it so it was near the end of the period when I finally saw him, and was able to get him alone for the next class period.  I went through the side door, in the new wing, because the kids were still having lunch (those who had second lunch that day). I opened the door that was always unlocked, even when it was lo
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Lonely and Sad by mrsbilliejean Lonely and Sad :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 2 0
Its Time
It's time to admit
even to myself
that I don't know who
is looking back from the mirror
it's time to admit
that I don't know what I see
when I stare at my eyes again
it's time to admit
that maybe running away
would help me figure it out
it's time to admit
that running away
isn't such a bad thing
it's time to admit
that I need to help myself
it's time to admit
that I need to love myself first
and to stop hating myself
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Somebody to Love
it's sad when you want a dream to be reality
it's sad when the only way you can love someone
is through dreams
it's sad that love for us only exists in my head
I want to be able to tell you
but I can't
because it's wrong and you would get into trouble
if something were to begin between us
I love you
I want you
but that can only happen in dreams
I guess that dreams are my heaven
since you are there
and that's where I want to spend my time now
I'd rather be there
than feel this pain now
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Excerpt from my Novel
It felt like hours but it was really mere minutes. I was dropped off at the school, per my request, after we finally were able to get out of the courthouse. I wondered if I was going to do the right thing. I knew what would happen, but was it right for me? I stood there, staring at the doors, thinking. Being on the stand today opened a lot of wounds for me. It made me realize how much I was repressing rather than how much I was healing. I barely held it together today. I think being with Charles has tricked me into thinking that everything would be okay. I think that I wanted so much to believe that being in love with him made me feel better, but it really didn't. In the end it would hurt me more. I came to my conclusion then: I needed to end it.
It wasn't the age issue. I didn't care about that. It wasn't the "forbidden student-teacher" relationship. That wasn't how I worked. I cared about Charles. I loved him even. I knew that much. But I knew that I needed space and real healing tim
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Self Portrait WIP by mrsbilliejean Self Portrait WIP :iconmrsbilliejean:mrsbilliejean 0 0
Missing You Chapter One
"It was silly, for me to expect anything to happen that was positive" I thought to myself as I stared blankly at the whiteboard. 7am. First period. It was first day of second semester, the first day of the last few months I had left in high school. I was thinking about the previous semester, when things seemed to go wrong at every turn. Except for one thing. I met a fantastic theater teacher when the myself and some of my art classmates were asked to help paint the set for our school's play, and now I was here, sitting in a theater classroom when I had vowed never to take another theater class again. Maybe it was time for me to find an out, now that I had met someone who would change my life.
I wasn't stupid. I knew that this teacher would change everything for me. I was hoping that he would save me, save me from the dark lies I tell myself, from the dark world I entered. I needed saving, I knew that. But I could just be stupid and be wishing for something that isn't going to ha
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  • Listening to: Bon Iver James Blake Kanye West and Nick Pitera
  • Reading: VC Andrews
  • Watching: Doctor Who Sherlock Supernatural and Vampire Knigh
SO! Nanowrimo is coming up. It's that time of year (and yes it sort of explains why I'm so active all the sudden here xD). I have my plot, just looking for character names and I should be all set. Thankfully, I'll have a lot of time to write while I'm at school and stuff and between my shifts at work so HOPEFULLY I'll get it done this year and maybe actually FINISH the novel fully and stuff *wishful dreaming and thinking*

In any case, I am working on a Sherlock/Harry Potter cross over at the same time. SO when I'm feeling a bit stuck on my nano novel, I'll be working on that as well. Links will come later! 

Anyways look for more updates. Maybe I'll post a weekly or daily blow by blow of Nano?


mrsbilliejean's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United States
Current Residence: Aurora. CO but Maine in the near future
Favourite genre of music: everything except rap
Favourite style of art: Impressionism, Renaissance, Cubism, Greek, Roman
MP3 player of choice: iPod nano
Favourite cartoon character: YuGiOh, Yami
Personal Quote: 'Forget Regret or Life is Yours to Miss'

Journal History



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setsuru Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
Well look who I found! ...Through looking up Nick pictures... :D
mrsbilliejean Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
haha hello!!!! xD
KytCordell Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Heya! Thanks for the watch. I'll add you.
mrsbilliejean Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
haha okay :) 
WillDil Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for fav and a happy new year! :happybounce:
JSimonART Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2012  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the :+fav:!
MatutinusS-A-W Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012   General Artist
Thanks for the favourite! Thanks. :3
mrsbilliejean Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
you're welcome!
JSimonART Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012  Professional General Artist
thanks for the :+fav: jelly bean
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