There's a reason as to why the title is what it is. To be honest, my mental health has actually been getting worse. What do I mean by that? Well, fairly recently, I had yet another panic attack, making this one my eighth panic attack this year. Let's be honest, I have not had a good year at all, and we're not even halfway done. I know I sound a bit pessimistic right now, but I literally had no real expectations for this year.
All the panic attacks from March 17th, 2018 up until now were mostly caused by my emotions. The first seven was fear that I would lose my friends, where this recent one was caused by me going insane, and envisioning flies as people that I despise with a burning passion. When I was playing the Simpsons Hit & Run for PC, I started to feel a little weird, and I started hyperventilating, and I later started screaming and crying at the same time. This was because I was having what Shel calls an "awake-mare" which in our slang is another term for hallucinations. Basically... if you want to know what that hallucination was... ask me via a note.
This year has literally been the worst for my mental health, and I'm also dealing with my own personal issues, such as with my family. I'm not arguing with them, but a lot of stress is going on behind the scenes. I'm also trying to look for my own job because let's be honest, I cannot be spoonfed for my entire life. Another thing that I want to do is build a new PC, because looking back at it now, my Optiplex is actually... not as good as I thought. Processor wise, I can't go higher than anything from 2009, since this is like a 2009-10 PC. This is why I plan on building my own PC.
MSI X370 AMD motherboard
AMD Ryzen 7 1800X eight core CPU at 3.6GHz
16GB Corsair Vengeance LPX RAM
Coolermaster Hyper 212 Evo
Crucial MX500 250GB M.2 SSD (it's like SATA, but smaller and faster)
Rosewill 850 Watt gold power supply
Thermaltake Versa H22 case
(I will be adding an MSI Armor AMD Radeon RX580 later down the road)
Why aren't I including a graphics card or an extra HDD? Well, let's just say I'm going to take the graphics card I have now, and put it in the new PC build, and as for the hard drive, I'm going to see if I can pull the old hard drive out, and backup the data that's on it now onto the external HDD that I have and format the hard drive, so that way I can have some extra space, until I buy an extra hard drive, or replace the current one.
Also, you might have noticed that "Buy me a coffee" button on my profile. I'm actually on Ko-fi. Click that button to donate coffees to me. They're only $3 each.
As for the whole job thing... I'm going to try to do it on Sunday if there's no stress going on with my family. Once that's done, I'll probably
see if I can do a special treat for those whom are actually willing to donate. Right now, if you're unaware, the normal error limit per user is five per user. If you donate, I might let you have one extra error request slot.
Anyway... I also have a bit of a new thing that I got fairly recently, and that involves my keyboard. What is it? If you know me on the Discord server, you'll know what it is, but for those who aren't there, I'll go ahead and post it here.
Either way... I'm going to do some massive changes to my life, and it's all going to be for the better.
Bolt out. See ya later, and oyasumi (good night)