Billy Blows his Stack

It was a lovely day on the Island of Sodor, rain had left a pleasant weather, and the engines were able to find the heat more tolerable. Everyone was working happily in the fresh weather. Billy, on the other hand, was very annoyed.

Billy pulls up at Knapford, where Thomas and Oliver are waiting for their next duties.

Thomas: Hey, Billy, what’s happening, dog?

Billy: It’s my life. I’ve got too much work, and when I try to complain, the others act like unsympathetic assholes.

Oliver: Well, Emily and Molly do.

Cut to Molly and Emily on siding

Both: Yoo hoo, Billy. (giggles)

Billy: Above from that, I’m pissed, and deserve better.

Billy leaves as both Oliver and Thomas look on.

Oliver (now looking unhappy): Oh dear…

Billy soon arrived at Wellsworth, where the yard manager was waiting for him.

Manager: Billy, you need to take empty trucks to the scrap yard so they can be filled with scrap. The scrap trucks are on a siding are being looked over for maintenance.

Billy: But sir, isn’t all this Marklin’s job?

Manager: Marklin is… busy right now.

Cut to Marklin, who is puffing by some trucks, saying what’s in them as he goes of camera.

Marklin: Stone, coal, coal, oil, milk, I dunno, coal, tractor, coal, paint,

Loud explosion and Wilhelm scream are heard

Marklin: Oh, fuel!

Billy: Yes, sir.

Manager: Now the scrap co.’s private trucks are out of use, so you’ll have to find some other ones, they are scattered about.
Billy: Yes sir. (puffs offs)

Finding trucks was hard work for Billy, he often had to go all across the yard. Sometimes pulling away other freight cars.

Montage of Billy getting the trucks.

A while later, Billy was finished when Toby stopped next to his train. He was pulling some cars that were apparently filled with explosive materials.

Toby: Hey, what’s up, Billy?

Billy: Not much

Toby: I heard you were pretty irritated. In my theory, you should rein yourself back in before things get worse.

Billy: Yeah, whatever, Toby.

Billy puffs of, leaving Toby worried

Thomas: I thought he knew better now.

Montage of Billy going to the Scrap yard, Billy gets there.

Billy: Golly, it’s creepy here.

Truck: Come on, don’t be such a sissy.

Scrap suddenly crashes down, truck screams.

Billy: Heh, pansy.

Whistle and puffing are heard

Billy: Wow, who’s there?

Voice: It’s me, Alfred.

Shows Alfred the B12 smiling

Billy: Oh, what do you want?

Alfred: To help you.

Billy: Why?

Alfred: I have seen how the others treat you, Billy. I have been through all that as well. So I want to help you.

Billy: What?

Alfred: Revenge

Billy: How?

Alfred: You know, violence, destruction, all that kond of shit.

Billy: So this is all revenge?

Alfred: Exactly. What do you say? Are you up for it?

Billy: Sure, if it’ll get my life better.

Alfred: Excellent, Howard.

Howard: Yes, sir.

Alfred: Get the vessel.

Howard enters with a chest on a flatbed, buffering up to Billy

Alfred: Let the transformation begin!

Fade to black, when we return to see Neville on a cliff as Billy comes beside him. Billy’s face now looks dirty, he has a cyborg eye and a toothbrush moustache.

Neville: Oh, hi, Billy, What’s with your face? It’s not Halloween or anything.

Billy (now sounds like Schwarzenegger): It is time for you to be terminated.

Neville: Oh, are you just acting in a play?

Billy: Hasta la vista, baby.

Billy backs up, the pushes into Neville

Neville: No, Billy, nooooo…

Neville falls down hillside without tender, crashing to bottom.

Neville: Ow…

Zoom in on Billy as camera fades to a yard, the “This will teach you”  theme from “Thomas and the Breakdown Train” plays.

Soon Billy was spreading terror all across the Island, making things horrid for the engines. (Show random bad things Billy does until theme ends)

Billy blowing up Knapford harbor where he sees Fergus

Fergus: oh, Billy. Just wait till I tell Sir Topham Hatt that-

Billy: Shut it, midget.

Pushes Fergus into barge then leaves

Fergus: Dammit, if I had hands I’d flip him off now.

Other results of Billy’s actions like derailed engines are shown. Stanley is stuck in a yard among trucks

Stanley: Shucks.

Workman (to Sir Topham Hatt): What are we going to do, Sir?

Sir Topham Hatt: Edward.

Edward (looking on nearby): Yes, sir?

Sir Topham Hatt: I have a plan.

Return to Billy, who is on a double track bridge.

Billy: Today the railway. Tomorrow the world.

Edward (from behind): Not today.

Rams into Billy.

Edward: Remember Knapford Harbor.

Billy: Ah!

Billy is now drealied, spread across both rails

Gordon: Ah, well done Edward, you got the buck-toothed bastard.

Billy: I’ll get you. I will destroy you all.

Just then, Percy bustled with the dynamite cars Toby was shunting earlier.

Percy: Sir Topham Hatt wanted these cars?

Duck: Yeah, but I have no clue why.

Edward: You’ll see.

Just then, a workman came, lit a match, and used it to set the first car on fire.

Duck (shocked): Edward, stop him!

Edward: Duck, this is part of the plan.

Dcuk: Oh, never mind.

Percy (frantic): Yipe! What do I do?

Edward: Bump them, Percy, hard!

Percy: How hard?

Edward: Across the bridge.

So Percy did as Edward told him.

Cars ram into Billy and explode. Damaging that half of the bridge and destroying Billy.

Hanry and James (both wearing sunglasses and watching): Ooooo! Ahhhh!

Carlos (angry): Why did you go and kill Billy?! He was going to smuggle me to the mainland.

Gina: And he was going to off Guido too.

Gina: And he was

Rosie: That, was, radical.

Thomas: Yeah, man. That explosion was off the heezy, you dig, you all?

Marion chuffs up

Marion: I dig.

Percy: I, I, I can’t believe I…

Edward (looking sadly to Percy): It had to be done Percy. It had to be done.

And so, the engines tidied and cleaned Sodor to its former glory. Then they continued working safely, and quietly, like nothing ever happened.

As for Alfred, you ask? Well, when he was found out, let’s just say he WAY less than enjoyed his punishment.

Alfred (now just his boiler on a flatbed): Blast you Sodor engines!

End theme from S1-2 plays

After the recent ordeals, no one dared fuck with Thomas ever again. Little attention whore…

Thomas: Hey!