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Colonoscopy. by FactoryFactory, literature

Literature

Colonoscopy.

We haven't done this in a long while. That's your fault.What the hell's that supposed to mean? Nothing. Somebody has to take the blame though.Oh. Um, thanks? Anyway... What is it you said you were doing after school today? I'm going to this tiny town outside of the city with my grandma where we stomp on grapes and make wine.Fun! Save me some foot grapes, especially the ones your grandpa steps on. Hey! Why don't you come with?I can't. My aunt is making me shave her back after Diving practice. Yuck! That's so super nasty. I hope not at the dinner table.No, that's only if it happens to be a Tuesday. Which it is not. Oh, it's not Tuesday?! Dam...

Colonosconary by triptychr, literature

Literature

Colonosconary

I know that getting older usually means receiving fewer opportunities to spend quality time with your parents, but I hope I'm forgiven for squandering one of those rare chances by refusing to write on their butts.“Come on,” my mom goaded, “I have a brown eyeliner pencil in my purse.”“No!”“But he'll get a kick out of it!” she said.And the truth was that he probably would have. How often does the standard family physician go to give a couple their colonoscopies and find something like “I'M READY FOR MY CHEEK-UP” etched on the field of battle?But hey, I know I'm not the most glamorous of writers but I have to draw the line somewhere; my only...

THAT LITTLE GIRL - Part 1 by cdharding, literature

Literature

THAT LITTLE GIRL - Part 1

THAT LITTLE GIRL A Short Story By Clinton D. Harding Part 1 ***First things first what is required is a good scratch in the nether-regions, the man needing to rub away his little mans morning greeting. The beaming sun did not help matters in the daily rise, getting his eyelids to roll up like he was trying to do now was only t...

this is hilarious, D by RUNNrabbitRUNN, literature

Literature

this is hilarious, D

Dear D, I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your dog. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me under the bus and I saw you hit on my boyfriend. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that your Ford sucks. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember the pep talks and I will haunt you when Im reincarnated as an Eskimo. Greetings from your frog Leonard, jessie

Help by kirocontoy, literature

Darei by Gotischa, literature

Literature

Darei

Dareiya 14 years ago I coward in the closet of my room, watching the from the crack, the men yelled at my parents, like they’d done something wrong. I was a happy child, sure, my parents loved me, and I had just about anything a six year old boy could ask for. Unfortunately, my parents weren’t the best people in the world, in real life that is. They were drug dealers, but of course, they never told me. They owed some people, big time, not 10 dollar kind of owe, I mean over 1 million dollars. But they were still able to act like nothing was wrong. I didn’t know this though, I watched helplessly, one of them pulling out a gun, my parents bac...

Diarrhea by JZLobo, literature

Literature

Diarrhea

Ive been blocked up real bad since last Taco-fest, That was a week ago, somethings gotta give soon Laxatives help, mega-doses now Maybe too much, cause I suddenly lose control Sitting here upon my bowl Just one push and I can hear water flow Just hope the toilet bowl dont run over, o-o-o-ohDiarrhea! Here I go again Bye-bye, this might take a long time Diarrhea! Whats that smell again? Oh yeah, it is me evry time Yes, I have shattered trousers, My friends run screaming Wowzers! Why, why, does God really hate me so? Diarrhea! Now I gotta go, Oh hey, could you spare a magazine?Ive been stuck here all week sitting on porcelain I cant ...

What is this feeling? by Proutygirl2, literature

Literature

What is this feeling?

Walking quietly across an empty stage, I sighed to the silent auditorium. So many different memories were wedged into the now silent walls. I pondered mid stage staring into the invisible audience. I remembered the last time I stood on this black stage staring into a raging crowd. My hazel eyes raked the empty seats, as if to find a hidden audience grinning in the shadows. July 17th was the last time I stood on this stage. Looking back from then and to now there was a big difference. For one, I was warring my beloved street clothes, instead of a frilly pink gown with gloves and a white hat. Two, I was still and silent, as if th...

Polio by HoldingBackTears, literature

Literature

Polio

Cmon, Freddy! Lighten up! We havent taken a vacation in five years, and this is your little sisters first vacation ever. Its suppose to be quality family time; and fun. If this is fun, Dad, Freddy retorted, then I must be Superman. Freddy was not having a good day. Nothing was going the way he wanted it to. He had fallen down the stairs earlier that morning, burnt his hand making breakfast, and had been smacked in the head by his next-door-neighbors kick ball. To make matters worse, his parents had insisted upon him sitting next to his little sister, Ruby, while they drove to the resort. He was serious...

I hate... by DemonicYuuki, literature

Literature

I hate...

I hate how I feel the need to make this list. I hate how I typo all the time becuase I don't take my time. I hate how I am really hungry but I don't feel like eating. I hate how skinny I am. I hate how 'emo' I am. I hate how I lately just don't feel like drawing. I hate how I don't want to reach out to people I want to be friends with. I hate how shy I am. I hate how my cell phone has become a huge part of my life. I hate how I used to say cell phones were stupid, then got one and it became my life. I hate how this Splat hair dye failed. I hate how annoying little kids can be. I hate how timid I get around men. I hate how I have a fear of ...

I Want Out by AngryNerdBird, literature

Literature

I Want Out

The Closet is Dark outside, my dad is laughing leaving me alone The carpet is torn told dad I didn't do it but he doesn't care The closet is dark I wish I could go outside somewhere far away The TV is on dad laughs at the characters as if I'm not here Later, mom comes home curious, she calls my name unsure where I am When she asked him why he tells her I tore the rug mom gives him a look Annoyed, she explains the dog did it this morning our son was asleep Now dad looks foolish so he lets me back outside but he's not sorry

Here is How You Do It by WimpyBookworm101, literature

Literature

Here is How You Do It

Dear Beloved Friends and Family, I don't know how to tell you this, but our socks don't match. I think I realized it when I saw the purple monkey as you were eating Kraft Dinner and I saw you carve your initials into my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep the results of that blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and I'm scratching my butt as you read this. With tears of sadness, MeHERE'S HOW YOU DO IT: Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it...

Worst Vacation Ever by Rebel-of-Spades, literature

Literature

Worst Vacation Ever

I'm usually very optimistic about vacations, but this one was just ridiculous. I don't think I've ever been so annoyed with a vacation in my whole life. Let me tell you about it!1. Yard Work-I hate yard work. I absolutely loathe it. I would rather lick the toilet bowl clean, and that’s saying something. I can’t stand trimming things, cutting down things, mowing, watering plants, weed whacking, or anything else related to outdoor work. I just. Don’t. Like. It! I tell my parents this for a reason. If they are doing yard work, put me to work inside the house. I refuse to take part in it, hell I’ll even work twice as long inside the house to g...

Something by Maaru0, literature

Literature

Something

I tried to delete one text submission I had here, but this peace of **** didn't allow me, so.. I had to write something or otherwise you could read my depressed teenage ramble, and we don't want that now do we? What else to write, hmmm..OH, I got a facefarted by my dog the other day! Let me lighten the situation for you: I was minding my own business and brushing my dog's long and beautifully white fur on his hinds with care -because he had some serious fur problems down there so of course I had to do something about it-. While carefully brushing his snow white hair, something emerged towards me without a warning. Suddenly, this gentl...

Cartman Issues Story Preview by Littleboo2002, literature

Literature

Cartman Issues Story Preview

Cartman Has Issues (Sneak Peek) The next morning at the bus stop Kyle waited alone, wide-eyed, and shakey. "Dude, you okay?" Kyle turned and saw Stan and Kenny standing next to him. "Huh?" Kyle couldn't think straight. "I said..." Stank started. "Dude, are you okay?" Kyle just stood there wide-eyed. Kenny started giggling behind Stan. "I think I know what's up." Kenny muttered from behind his hood. Kyle turned pale white. "N...

Hundred Memories 5: Just a Stupid Rant. by RavenEnshadowed, literature

Literature

Hundred Memories 5: Just a Stupid Rant.

February 24, 2014. 5:43 PMI feel like I can’t be me. I feel like if I were to be me, people would hate me. I’m supposed to be happy; I’m supposed to have the perfect life. And I do have a good one. But does that mean I don’t have problems? I’ve been told I’m 'not mature enough to make it'. I’ve been told I’m 'fucking rude'. I’ve been told no one cares about me. I’ve been told there’s no reason anyone should ever be jealous of me. I’ve been told I don’t have problems.The reason I’m not with the boy I like now is because my friend said she’d ditch me. The reason I don’t talk to people is because my friend would be mad.If you truly know me an...

Stars of Disappointment by J-Jammer, literature

Literature

Stars of Disappointment

He gasped for air as water came slipping in instead. His reflexes decided to save him yet again and made him gag and cough. The water comes up and lands right back in the puddle he breathed from. His mind tries to tell him to roll over but his body points out how extremely pointless that effort would be. So his head turns to the right and his lungs rejoiced for they could breathe air instead of the puddle that, as he now notices, has bits of dirt in it. Small favors were not over looked with this body.Jesse opens his eyes and is mildly shocked that he is on the wet concrete hybrid gravel ground, which means he is outsidebut where out...

Stupid Things that People do by Screecloud, literature

Literature

Stupid Things that People do

I’m constantly amazed at the inane and stupid things that otherwise competent people do. For example, people will look for their sunglasses for hours before realizing that that they have been wearing them the whole time. Or if someone asks “Why aren’t you wearing underwear?” people immediately check before realizing that the other person is joking around. There are so many of these incidents that I know of that I wouldn’t be able to write them all in my lifetime, but I will talk about some of them.First comes the story from when my dad worked in the IT department. My dad was going to someone’s (let’s call them Bob) cubicle to fix their mo...

22 Word Fiction by JezMM, literature

Literature

22 Word Fiction

I wanted to eat some cake the other day. So I did. Unfortunatly, the cake I chose was poisoned. So I died.Revising for my exams was very troubling, not to mention time consuming. But I found the soloution; I didn't do the exams.A man decided to write a 22 word fiction. However, it was impossible to make a 22 word long story. The End.A bear went to the toilet, but he could not find any Charmin Toilet Paper in the stall. He was very dissapointed.

Down To Earth Ch. 8 by invaderday, literature

Literature

Down To Earth Ch. 8

"My brother and I were goofing around, he ran out on the street and there was a van coming... I didn't know what to do... So I pushed him out of the way.. And well yahknow.." she finished. "Im sorry, when did this happen?" he asked. "July 4th 2007, there's more to the story, but you have to wait till it happens" she said. "Woh, wait, 2007 Your from the future!!" he said excited. "I think this time is more exciting than the future honestly" she said. "So what's in my futre what happens to me?!" he asked. "Well I don't know this is sort of my first few days on the job, Before I died though, haha I'm sorry I said to much, but your future is w...

Misery by adorablelittlepenis, literature

Literature

Misery

Misery is as misery does and what it does is dance out of time while hooting and spitting its off kilter phrasing all over your best moves.As it does it pisses on the toilet seat as again and again it tells you what's wrong with everything you do right while taking cigarettes from your pack and feeling your girlfriends inner thigh.As it goes misery wears the t-shirt of the band you hate and drinks the drink that costs the most when it's your shout.Misery stutters and blames you for not understanding and when you stand to leave it tells you that your arse looks big in those pants. Misery talks through the movie tells you the end before it c...

How to always remember by RaisedMonkey, literature

Literature

How to always remember

Always make the most of life with those closest to you. Make them laugh at least once a day. Pull a stupid prank on them. Make them mad. Argue over something dumb. Then get ice cream at McDonald’s… if the ice cream machine is working. (It probably isn’t.) So go to Burger King instead. Have a nice chat with your grandma about her cat. Let your uncle cross-dress and take a shot. Sure, you’ll be stuck at the bar drinking soda, but it’s still a crazy memory you’ll always laugh about. Go on a wild trip to San Francisco. Feed the seals some fish. Wander through Chinatown for some of their wonderful food. Take that chance to do something wild—have fun while doing it. But then, sometimes, you choose not to. You’re too busy. You say, “I have work… school has me way too busy… my goat is stuck in a tree—Grandma scared it.” Then, when the time comes and you have no real time left, regret hits like a firework without any sound. First denial, then anger—at them or yourself—sinks in. You spend

What A Day by may1st2002, literature

Literature

What A Day

I was sitting in my room and I said to myself, "Self, we need a job. The elephant is bankrupt."So we walked around town No jobs to be found We were distracted by the sound When a bird hit the ground"I've given up," he said, "and I'm surely no good. A bird that can't fly is no friend in this 'hood." I said "who cares? No need for a fit. Find a nice windshield to carry your shit."So, he pooped over here, and he pooped over there, next to the man with detachable hair. He pooped on the sidewalk, he pooped on the grass. He pooped and he pooped, then he tore up his ass.We went to the funeral, sat next to the fern She said, "what a sweet bird tha...

Leaving... by evilbananas, literature

Literature

Leaving...

Leaving... Leaving to destinations not so near,leaving with what seems to be a hidden fear. Leaving all you know and trust behind,leaving means misplacing a friend of mine. Leaving please be aware,leaving please don't stay to long there. Leaving means missed more then you know,leaving for things that could at anytime blow. Leaving please stay safe,leaving please make it back all together to home base. Leaving I will feel the empty space,leaving I will miss you and even shed a tear. Leaving see you when you get back hereleaving can't wait to learn what you know Leaving can't wait to find my friend again, but for now I guess yo...