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Mornings filled with hunger pains, Blood slowly dying in my veins, Exercise then fall to the floor, Haul body up then work out more, Chest growing tight and lungs are weak, Head to tired for tongue to speak, A mirror hanging in the hall, What I would give to have “it all”, With every bite of food I fail, Body and spirit growing frail, Silently dining from an empty plate, Life measured out in height and weight, Pangs of guilt as pride begins to grow, Rib and hip bones clearly now show, Each extra inch breeding despair, Body and soul now running on air, Staring as the mirror is now too tough, Because nothing will ever be good enough.

I hate myself. Why can't I be like the pretty girls? I'm different,I'm a freak. I have nightmares, no it's not monsters and ghouls. It's my own reflection,when I look at me. I take razorblades, hurt myself to feel. I wish I could stop these feelings eating inside of me, but no matter how hard I try, they never seem to cease. My body is my challenge, Weight, my battle. Limb by limb, I can't swim, from this far out. I'm weak when I don't eat. I'm sick when I do eat. Self esteem lesser than smiles. I can see them staring through me, Hollow eyes and bare skin on bones, beautiful at size zero, inviting with their sex appeal. Magazines,movie sta...

Picture perfect How thin can you go? Up for a challenge? Painful and slow.Waiting it out Obsessed with forbidden Skip one more meal Keeping secrets hiddenInsomnia increases Watching seconds tick Saying you’re not hungry Denying you’re sickGrinding teeth Vision wavering Tastes long forgotten You’re still savoringStanding outside Feels so cold Approaching blackness Then legs foldHospital bed Haven’t awoken Tearing eyes Lives are broken

Mirror Mirror, On the wall Who is the thinnest One of all Oh Reflection, I know it's not me I'm just too fat And ugly Mirror Mirror, Long and tall Who is the skinniest One of all Oh Reflection, Stand up straight Suck in your gut Then I may not hate Mirror Mirror, Clear and bright Please don't watch As I starve tonight Oh Reflection, Disgusting and lifeless Bordering obesity Without another guess Mirror Mirror, Don't show me Bent over, wishing For what I can't be Oh Reflection, Go!  Disappear! I'm stuck in this body With food to fear Mirror Mirror, Broken and shattered Don't stare at me With th...

You're fat. Or maybe you're Anorexic... I don't know. But you're not perfect. And that's wrong.You're ugly. Or maybe you're Fake... But you're not perfect. And that's wrong.You're quiet. Or maybe you're Obnoxious... But you're not perfect. And that's wrong.You're you. Or maybe you're like everybody else? Well. You're not perfect. And that's wrong.

She was living inside me Sometimes, she spoke for me She didn't want I eat So, I didn't eat anymoreI lost, but nobody saw it When I explained all to my friends They helped me Both of them particularlyI will never be able to thank them enough Thanks to them, I'm fine now My life is beautiful, even if... Now she'll always be there, deep inside myself

Too afraid to eat or to gain any weight. Too lost in the dream to notice death is imminent. Too teary-eyed to see what the mirror has to show. Too numb to realize that bones are still freezing under clothes. Too meager to care that hair is falling to ground.But too isolated to receive any help.

Eating Disorder ~ Again Step on the scale again pray the numbers low Pull out the mesuring tape again pray for one inch less Count the calories again pray you didnt eat to much Turn the stereo up again pray for the horror to stop Bend over the toilet again hope it all comes up Exercise for hours again work off one more pound Stand before a mirror again wish youd tried a little more Stare at your reflection again wish you could be pretty and thin Fall on the bed again you pay for beuaty with tears Hurt yourself again pray for it all to end Stare into the sky again feel the pain you hide within Stare at the food again you want what you cant...

Cry because you have nothing else to feel Starve because the food could never fill you Tempt and wonder, As you sit in solitude, how did I get myself into this?I’m in way too deep, and I wish I could see the world Through a child’s eyes Stronger than your fellow man Competing against yourself, against people you don’t even knowFor my trophies are my ribs, and hips And my rewards are hunger and pain, Beauty within, will never shine through You are what you eat.In this case, I am nothing.

What have I done, this is surely not me, this vision in the mirror, I try not to see. lost in this void, petrified and alone, I am searching for flesh, but I see only the bone. my body unloved in this terrible state, in the background the grim reaper will wait. A smirk on his face as he moves ever so near, and feeds off my heart, and lives off my fear. will somebody save me before I waste away, too late I am fading, now! what will they say?

"mirror, mirror, on the wall who's the fairest of them all?" i whispered to my doleful reflection, but this was no fairy tale: this was a small town on a cold, foggy night.my skeleton was so beautiful i wanted to showcase it, give onlookers a glimpse of my impending death through my very flesh. i could picture myself, edges carved away like a cored apple. i just wanted to feel real. everyone around me chewed and swallowed so easily but i just gnawed on my lip until i tasted blood, and let a piece of myself die. the flavor made my mouth water as my stomach ground out hoarse requests for expansion, for meaning.i held nothing within but path...

you should know:                             this isn't a restaurant;                             i am not on the menu;                             love can't be ordered.                             a hypocrite would say                             don't look at food you                             know you can't afford.i should know:                        i am not part of a balanced breakfast;                        i'm not the haemoglobin in your veins;                        you can't be the haemoglobin in mine.                        we are both iron-deficient. however, i                        am not anaemic; i am not your doctor;   ...

No, depression is not just getting sad. It's a constant sadness that melts into your bones, An indescribably heavy weight upon your shoulders, Never mind your heart and soul. It's believing so many lies (maybe because you've learned to accept them) And no longer appreciating your self-worth. Wishing you no longer existed, wishing yourself gone. Depression holds you back from your dreams And pulls you into a nightmare. It takes full control of your existence. It makes you never want to get out of bed, And when you finally do, You just want to get back in it. But you know the hardest part? Ignorant people. Just. Like. You.

I've heard so many people tell those who suffer depression to just 'cheer up.' I wonder if they can really believe that it’s that simple.Depression isn't just sadness. It is emptiness, it is misery. It is pain and nothingness at once. When you are truly depressed you lack the ability or will to cheer yourself up. No one just ‘has depression.’ You suffer from it. This is depression:You will wake at 5, 6, maybe 7am, feeling as though you had only just fallen asleep. It’s likely you did. If you don't have to be somewhere, you could lie in bed for another 3 hours...too tired, too miserable and pathetic to crawl out of you bed. Or maybe you wil...

I wish I could tell my mom, Why I cry, How she thinks I eat, But I don\'t, I wish I could tell her about the war inside my head. I wish she understood my Anorexia. Cheri Nichols June 16th 2002

In my dreams It was me in your arms My lips on yours There was only us And the clouds And the stars It was the world and us It was us against the world But in your arms I could take it Anything the world dished out And with your kisses I was strong again In my dreams it was me in your arms My lips on yours But in reality It’s always been her

I turn from food, its a poision that I dont need.It makes me ugly, fat, disgust, hateI turn away from it all, for the desire to be thinner.I look into a mirror, clouded by disgust and despair.Hate, guilt, uglyThis is what I am known to be.The desire to be thinner, is the way to go.Food is my enemy, Food makes me fat.I wish to be thinner. So I starve myself everyday.This is the life Ive always lived. A life of Anorexia is what I am known to be

I am not Ugly; you're just holding the mirror wrong.I am not Blind; I just love to listen.I am not Retarded; I just learn differently than you.I am not ADHD; the world just fascinates me.I am not Depressed; this is how I smileI am not Fat; I'm just as big as my heart.I am not Bisexual; I want to share my love with all.I am not Cross-eyed; One eye sees beauty in this universe, the other looks towards my future.Before you think you may have the answer, on who I'm supposed to be,No.I am not Special; I'm just being me.

You want to end it? Think of this. You write your suicide note... And you set it on the table. You take your razor, your silver, two inch razor. And you start to slide it across your wrist. You barely feel a thing. After all, the pain of life is more than the pain of the blade. And you take that belt you never wore, the one that was too tight, the one you starved yourself to fit into. And you wrap it once, twice around your neck... and you pull it tight. Barely breathing, you put the ends of the belt on something to hold you up. Something to strangle you. Something to kill you.And you die.And that's the end, right? Wrong. So, so wrong.Your...

Letting Go of You: You abandoned me in the past without so much as a proper goodbye One day you simply chose to walk out the door and you never did come back...I was angry then, hurting badly I wondered if I was in some way inadequate I wondered if you left because I am so easy to despise and eventually my sorrow turned to angerI wanted to become great to show you that you made the wrong choice to take my strength and throw it in your face just so you would regret it But then I saw how happy you were... In the time we've been apart You've made a new life for yourself You've found someone who loves and treasures you and upon seeing that, my...

Shhhh. Can anyone hear it. Shhhhhh, I said. Please, quiet . Listen. Do you hear it? Don’t move, just listen.. The heart pounds heavy the hands grow shaky the anxiety rips through her tightening insides. Can you hear it yet? Shhh..She’s helpless she’s SCREAMING . It’s so loud, It echos in her head pounding off the sides. Vibrating her pounding heart. Can’t you hear her? She’s screaming, She’s screeching, She’s reaching, out for you our for anyone anyone to hear her. LISTEN! But noone will noone does they can’t. They don’t know how.Her life is a shallow schedule of events. Knowledge of every food product she could ever want or ever reach ...

Hey, anyone who is reading this who is depressed or know someone who is or might be, listen up. You are beautiful, you are handsome. So what if you are gay, lesbian, tran, straight or such, you are a human being and what others are telling you isn't true. You are not worthless, you DESERVE to live, you are not a disgrace to your family.The ones who are anorexic or bulimic, I beg of you please get help. You are not ugly, I promise. You're not alone. I'm 20 and I know the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing only a fat piece of shit, I don't want anyone else feeling like that. Someone loves you for the size, the person you are, not fo...

Shaking with fear, Scared of the reaction, Trying to tell her best friend the truth.She takes a deep breath, Thinks her speech through, But all she can think of is pain.Pain for herself, Pain for her friend, Tales of sorrow and suffering.She knows she can’t do it, Not on her own, Not without a comforting hand.But even though that hand is there, Resting on her shoulder, She still feels alone.Its takes all her courage To say the first word, Courage that has drained away.Finally she says it, It’s all for the best. Anorexic.

Counting, counting, counting calories Thigh gaps, hip bones, sunken eyes Want your pictures in thinspo galleries Hoping no one can hear your criesBinging to fasting, get it off! Weigh ins, anger, make the weight go away! Skin stretched over bone like cloth You don't want the fat here to stayDiets, pills, and exorcise Salads, purging, fast again Ignore your body's needy cry It'll all be worth it in the endCut soda, cut cake, cut sugar galore Run fingers down ribs and smile No one knows what happens at core You want to lower that dialHospitals, doctors, anemia Collapsing, exhaustion, fear Say you fit their criteria You've got therapy for a year