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literature

I Really HATE That Guy

moonmystery's avatar
By moonmystery   |   Watch
57 86 1K (2 Today)
Published: November 10, 2012
I don't like that person. Actually...

I found out recently that I may truly despise that boy.
I'm rather jealous of him.

My stomach churns and twists whenever people applaud him.

I'm jealous of his eloquence and outgoing personality.

 I feel denounced every time he wins an award, wins a smile. He's almost better than me in each and every way. Sports, grades...life.


And yet, despite my trapped and bitter feelings,

I'm intrigued by him as a moth by the glowing lamplight.


Like a magnet, he pulls my attention closer and closer.

I can't help but admire him, respect him, laugh with him….My heart is pulled in two directions each time he laughs….each time he successfully jokes about something.

I am really jealous of him….Yet, at the same time, I'm awed by his appearance. He feels like an alien…

I think he lives in another world.
The people he interacts with are so different from mine…
The conversations he shares with others….the way he looks at his surroundings….


Because he is so different, I've always thought that I'm but an invisible being that he'll never recognize.

Thus, I'm always caught by surprise when he talks to me and calls me by my name.

"Why? Why would he talk to me?" I would wonder over and over again like a broken record without a guide….

I usually end up with the conclusion, "He had to. I was in the way."

My heart aches from thinking too much about him.
I'm really too jealous…. I would say to myself.

Yet, for some reason,
As much as I should hate him for his superiority,
My spirit lifts when he smiles,
My heart sinks when he cries.
I feel grateful every time he laughs and smiles at my joke….
I feel oddly ashamed when he feels otherwise.

When he's around,
My emotions become butterflies.
They flutter up and around,
Never settling down.

I tend to smile with contempt each time I find his mistakes….

Yet, I'm always the one avidly defending his known status of near perfection when others complain.

Because of him,
I look down on others.
My standard has been raised.
Thus, I can't help but feel like an insignificant beetle,
Whenever I think of him.

"WHAT NOW?! HE HAS A SORE THROAT TODAY!!"I would cheerfully say to myself…..
"Wow….He's still able to have such sophisticated conversations with everyone..." …is the very next thing that pops to my mind.  o_o


....
To me,
He is fire.
He sets my soul aflame and lay ruin to my puffed up pride.
He burns me with passion to continue after my goals….
Attracting everyone's attention, he warms up all individuals' thoughts….
He is my inspiration.

I'm jealous of this guy.

I'm seriously jealous of him.

He probably does not know,
But I secretly stalk him.
Out of the corner of my eyes,
I watch his every move.
With the little time I have,
I concentrate upon him.

No matter what I'm doing,
Be it drawing, gossiping, laughing…..

Somehow, I always manage to find myself searching for his silhouette.


Whenever I find him, I would secretly pray,
Hey look at me. Look at me. Look at me just once.

Did you know?

I'm really, awfully, hopelessly jealous of this boy.


:)
Thank you all for reading. I really appreciate it!
On a side note, I think I have a slight inferiority complex. Evidence= this piece of writing. o.o
***
Feel free to comment and fav!~ :bounce:
Oh, and feel free to help me increase the popularity of this piece on the net. (lol I would appreciate it greatly if you do xD)

****

(c) Me
Everything you see here comes purely from my brain and heart. I did not copy anyone. This is completely original :)

check out my other works here: :iconfeelingfreeplz:
[link] My Prince On White Unicorns

[link] Titanic

[link] The Heroes of Our Past
Comments86
anonymous's avatar
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Rudolph5000's avatar
Let me give you one mans perspective. I never knew any of the girls in school that liked me because they were always hoping for me to make the first move and being a teenager I had no idea how to talk to the opposite sex. It would have been nice if just one of the young ladies would have tried to be a friend to me, but they were caught up in all their own drama about what I was doing or how I appeared to others. Sometimes, we need to learn how to love. I was never brave enough to sort through the web of social intricacies and find companionship amidst the hate and elite cliques.

It doesn't sound like he's an introvert like me so I would suggest maybe getting involved in a group he's in, or one that's associated with his? Wait a minute, this was years ago! I guess my question is, "How did it go with him?" You must barely be in contact with him if at all now. 
AliceJigsaw's avatar
AliceJigsawStudent Artist
Your text was suggested by DA, at the right of my own text. The title made me curious so I read. That was cool, interesting. I understood your feelings. Moreover, it's cool because it's like a contradiction, in your text: you admire him, but you're jealous. That's an interesting fing. It's like in philosophy, my teacher (not the best, to be honest Xp) said that when you hate something/someone, somewhere you're attracted by it. Personnally, I say to this: "It depends". I don't always agree with that way of thinking, but it can be true sometimes.
Yagamiseven's avatar
this is really good, I love the tile
Shamrock-Girl's avatar
is this your real feelings about someone!!
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
ok. fine. I admit it. Yes it is! TT^TT
Shamrock-Girl's avatar
so you really like him.
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
O///O NO READ THE TITLE! Read the title properly!!!! And please don't tell anyone at our school! O_O
Shamrock-Girl's avatar
you really, really like the guy. heheheheh
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
lol.....*whistle whistle*....proceeds to walk away innocently.
Shamrock-Girl's avatar
sure. your not getting away. mwahahahaha
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
....Maybe... >///<
ronmaicol's avatar
you have been featured in the Unknown Artists Club newsletter! [link]
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
wah. Thank you! This is an honor! :iconiloveitplz:
La-Nora's avatar
La-NoraHobbyist General Artist
Love the writing! :D
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
Thank chu~ :iconfeelingfreeplz:
La-Nora's avatar
La-NoraHobbyist General Artist
And thank you, too! :D
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
xD no problem~ <3
La-Nora's avatar
La-NoraHobbyist General Artist
:D:D:D
Texelpride71314's avatar
Texelpride71314Student Artist
Oh and also, try not to be so jealous of him. try to open ur heart and ur mind to him. maybe there's something u can find out about him and use it to ur adn=vantage. That is how the female mind works my friend^^
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
lol xD
Texelpride71314's avatar
Texelpride71314Student Artist
That's how I use to feel about this boy in my peer counseling class. I use to feel that same way, but then I got to know him a little bit and blush whenever we talk. I have a small crush on him, but try to keep it out of my head. I totally understand your feelings^^ It would be funny if that boy saw this and commented lol^^
moonmystery's avatar
moonmysteryHobbyist General Artist
OMG. I really hope that doesn't happen. I would be embarrassed to death lol.
Texelpride71314's avatar
Texelpride71314Student Artist
lol^^ he wouldn't know...... would he?
anonymous's avatar
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