SA | Chapter III | It cannot be

Many emotions coursed through the bay stallions head and he had quite the difficulty trying to figure out which one was more prominent. Was it rage that took the forefront, burning with all-consuming vigor? A sense of loss that dug itself deep within his gut, making his stomach feel like he'd swallowed stones? A feeling unreality, like that what he was expierencing was but a dream. Because what did you feel when you returned home to something like this? Midas certainly didn't know.

He had been relieved that they had made it home safely. After the whole ordeal in Talori, where the stallion had feared for his life, and then the boat, where he had feared for others' lives, he was more than happy to fall down and kiss Sedo's sunscorched ground. Of course he didn't. That would have been very unbecoming of him, especially considering his company, and he didn't fancy the taste of dirt at that. But it stands to say that he was glad to be home. After making sure the emperor and his company was fine, he swiftly set towards the one thing he had missed tremendously during his short stay in Aodh. Normally that would be his home or family, both things very precious to him. His priorities had changed however and now it was his daughter. Tracking down her and her mother would not havebeen the easiest thing to do. Serora herd had not a small territory to cover and the families always wandered. As luck would have it however for the occasion the herd was gathered in an oasis. 

Now Midas was quite surprised to find Hana, Phoenix's mother, alone with her own mother. Now of course she could be playing with another foal even if Midas found her a little young to go on playdates without parent supervision. Hana was shifty though, avoiding his eyes and making Midas wary. He had been observing political games long enough to know when something was off. Not able to quell the worry that bubbled up inside of him, he asked her where Phoenix was. 

"She's out."

"With who? Her grandmother?" 

"She's alone."

"Wait, w-"

"She training her skills as a future fury."

Confusion. 

Shock.

Why was she-? And then it came, the explanation. But wasn't anything Midas could ever have guessed. It was not something that would ever have crossed his mind. 

Hana had been afraid, raising a young child all by herself. It had been the reason she had called Midas back when she was close to giving birth. She didn't want to raise the foal alone, an only parent, even when her own parents where there to assist. She couldn't and so, when Midas had left her alone again, she had turned fate around, feeding her aging potion. She needed her at an age that she could take well enough of herself. Midas came back to a daughter of nineteen. 

The sun was slowly disapearing behind the canyon walls now, bathing the two of them in a soft yellow. If it wasn't for their dire faces, one wearing the expression of guilt, the other of shock, it mighg have been a perfect scene. The clouds colored orange and pink, blending together in a splendid pallet as the the sun set. A soft wind blew by, cooling the sweat that clung to Midas' coat, the still warm air, softly tussling his loose manes. If one were to see their silouethes, they'd no doubt describe it as a most romantic setting. Midas however didn't feel any of it, see any of it. It was as if his senses had shut down, closing off the outside as he tried to make sense of the inside. He had a hard time accepting it as reality. It wasn't real, couldn't be real. Surely Hana was joking.

"You are joking, right?"

"I am not."

No, no, no, please. He asked the gods for it to be not true. He'd give up his position as Ambassador again. Anything to see his little girl growing up. But alas, there was magic to age, but no magic to turn said process back. If there was it had long been spread far and wide, because who did not want to stay forever young? 

And then there was anger. How dare Hana make such desiccions without him? Phoenix was his daughter for Alya's sake. How dare she take the chance from him to see his own daughter grow up? Why did nobody stop her? And who sold her the potion without being cautious of what it would be used for. 

Nineteen. Nineteen. He wanted to cry. So many years of her life he had missed and which would never come back. Cute foal babbling, awkard attempt at using her telekinesis. Talorian toys he would bring her like her own treasures. The first attempts at flying. Helping her train her basic defensive techniques. Watch as she went on playdates. Observe as she slowly developed from a kid into an awkward teen. Maybe she would have become a caregiver. Who would have been her first teen crush? And her- his breathing hitched, heart skipping a beat.

"Did you say future fury?"

A sideway glance. "Yes."

"She's an apprentice?!"

"Yes."

"You mean-?"

A nod.

Her ceremony. He missed her ceremony. He couldn't take it. He wanted to yell and scream and Alya forbid, hurt Hana in that very moment. He needed out and he swiftly started to walk away. She came after him, telekinesis softly brushing his shoulder. "Midas, please." He bristled, moving sideways bruskly and hissing through his teeth. 

"Leave me alone, Hana. I do not need to hear your excuses right now." He turned, burning eyes fixating on the mare. The intensity of it would have made Ignacio proud. "You know what? Don't talk to me, don't come to me. If you see me coming, duck out of my sight because I am not going to be talking to you for awhile, 'kay?" He was trembling, body suffering from the sudden stress he was feeling. With an angry huff, he turned again, making his way to... He didn't know where but away from there. First it was a swift walk, but soon he was cantering and galloping full speed. He ran without thinking, till his legs were turning and his lungs begging for air and he just felt all out numb. His coat was sheening in sweat, breath coming out in heavy puffs of air. He felt dizzy, but it was an almost welcome distraction. The sun had long since dropped completly behind the canyon walls, drenching the world around him in a darkness that was only lit by moon and the seemingly ever growing amount of stars. He paused, body feeling about ready to collapse as he leaned heavily against the stone surface. His legs were trembling and his heart was running a marathon as he made an effort to look around. His family. He had run all the way to where he knew his family had last written him from. His mom, he needed his mom and mother. With undsteady legs he started walking forwards, thought again taking the forefront in his mind. Most of them where questions, few of which that he dared to ponder. A lot of why's and if's. Would his parents know of it as well? Where they present for her ceremony of the rising wind? Had Phoenix wanted to go through with it without him? What did his little girl look like now? Had she taken after her mother or did she look more like him? What was she like? Hana had said that she was a fury apprentice. How had she found that calling? Should he worry about the danger or support her in her endavours? He stilled for a second, leaning again, trying to work up enough energy to carry on. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes, before pushing from the wall again. His head hurt and he was tired. It was dark and despite the mild temperatures, he felt cold, shivering as he started walking again. He needed his mothers right now. They would know what t say, what to do to make it better. They knew him so well, sometimes too well, and would never leave him standing in the cold. Yes, he needed his family and didn't now but the day before yesterday.