SA | Bittersweet

+1 AP (400+ words) | For Renata

Renata traced their jaw with her thumb, a touch of simple connection that she could only wish would convey all she felt. Words could not begin to describe the depths of her feelings, the love, the longing. Sometimes it was all too much. She reached forwards, sliding her fingers to the the back of their neck, threading her fingers in the hair they encountered there. She breathed in deeply as she leaned closer, the other doing the same as well. Renata had to close her eyes at the look in their eyes, afraid her heart might shatter if she looked at them any longer, these feelings too intense. The trust which showed were clear and she knew it had reflected in her own. This was territory uncharted for them both. For Renata in particular it was territory she thought she would never walk. Years she spent without allowing anyone in her life, her heart broken after her friend and husband passed away and later again when Isis left them. Never had she expected she would find someone to share such feelings with, such expierences with. But now they were here and as they too leaned forward, closing the gap between them, she felt as she would finally be okay again. Chapped lips brushed against hers, both of them tentative, unsure on how to proceed. What would this mean for the future? It were uncertain times, yet it made her want this all the more, needed it all the more. She needed someone to share her feelings with, to depend on, to be depended upon. The thought made her pull them closer, arms reaching to clutch their shoulders. The spark had returned and suddenly they were kissing more roughly, a tinge of desperation in their movements. Arms encircled her waist and she pressed closer, arms going around their neck. She wanted more, she wanted to be closer, she wanted...she wanted... She didn't even know all she wanted. Her mind was in a haze and she felt herself gasping for air as they broke apart, breathing heavily. She opened her eyes as something touched her cheeck, subsequently realizing they were wet. Thumbs stroked away the salty drops of water that spilled from her eyes. "Don't cry, you're too beautiful to cry," that voice she loved so much said. She smiled. "How can I not cry when I am so happy?" She answered.

---

Renata opened her eyes, finding herself lying in bed. Alone. Her face was wet with tears, but they were not of happiness like in her dream. A feeling of loneliness that was all consuming twisted inside her chest. And she cried for that love she could feel in her recurring dreams.