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Journal Entry: Thu Nov 17, 2011, 4:46 AM


So we managed to crawl to the finish of Red Vs Blue Season 9. If you've got a few bucks to spare, it's not a bad buy. You may be able to use it to clone me someday considering how much blood and sweat I poured into it.

But in all seriousness though it is a true product of love. I don't think anyone loves working on this more than I do.

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That being well and behind me I'm already getting started on Season 10. Which will be no small task as the 10th season of this show we have huge things in mind... huge.

On a more personal note I'm beginning making some leeway on Dead Fantasy and other projects of passion of mine.

And on a even more personal note, I'm feeling somewhat empty these days. It's getting harder and harder to remind myself how lucky I am, despite the sacrifices I've had to make to get this far. It's a privilege of many sorts to work on something that makes so many people happy.

I've always said that everyone is entitled to their own sorrow, a rule I apply to everyone but myself. My personal rule being that life isn't about what you want, it's about what you need to do.

So why the emptiness?

The problem with living your dream, on the off days when you need a break. The escape your looking for is from yourself. In which there is none.


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santomon2 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2018
might these be feelings of burnout?
skittblue Featured By Owner May 13, 2012
Take a break if you need to. I don't know your life or anything, and you might get paid for Red vs. Blue, but you can step away from Dead Fantasy despite all of the fanOUTRAGE that would ensue. They'll live. Trust me. By the time you die you'll wish you had spent more time on the things that really matter.
ziginz Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I have some idea of how that feels. It eventually passes, but the nihilisim is a bitch. I find soaking up your free time with a pointless by addictive game helps you rest. Like Skyrim or Dynasty warriors. After a few days of that I''m usually good to go. That's me though.
Rune33 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2011
I've been anticipating for dead fantasy VI for awhile. You are a master at what you do. It's an awesome series and can't wait for the next.
Runetirius Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well I'm not sure if this works for everyone, but whenever I need to escape from my own thoughts or work or whatever the case may be I turn to my friends. Just spend a day doing things that other people want to do. I find it's a great way to relax and on some occasions it even presents the opportunity to learn something new about yourself and your likes and dislikes. Just a thought.
Saiyora-Saga Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011  Student General Artist
Sounds like you need a mental vacation Monty.
BTW great job on the new RvB, still inspiring me to go forward.
MomijiChan07 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011  Student Digital Artist
That point of view is both poetic and melancholic at the same time. I don't know you but I hope your emptiness turns into what you've hoped for. :)
SojiroEX Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011
*hugs tight* Hang in there Monty. And take time off as you need it. I'm sure most, if not all of us have felt that way at one point or another. Just make sure you don't overwork yourself, get some sleep every now and then so you can have sleepy time dreams too. No one wants to see you push yourself too hard. And as always, thank you for making such amazing things and sharing them with all of us without charge. You shall forever be awesome.
Lestin Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
If I'm understanding rightly,I know what that feels really want to stop doing something or start but you cannot.My only hope is there is a person that can help through you
JapanEyedPinoy Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Student General Artist
On another note: when was the last time you had a vacation?
JapanEyedPinoy Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011  Student General Artist
I don't know the right things to say at a time like this, but I can tell you this: you're living in a dream that a lot of us would love to have. Heck! It's not even a dream anymore for you at this point. It's a reality. You've made a dream become a reality, something from "could be" to "is", and that to me is pretty amazing. Keep your chin up because you have every right to be proud, brud. To top it off, you're not alone because you got your fans right behind you every step of the way.

As for me, all I have is a dream that's been waiting to become a reality.
Ashigar Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As for the emptiness you feel inside:

Well monty there are many sides to every body and we discovery aspect of ourselves that we deny or never new existed as we go through life. I think you've spent so much time developing the "Movie Maker" part of yourself to the point were you think it's your only identity. Maybe you should kick back and spend sometime asking yourself....
"If things were different and I never got into movie making, what kind of person will I be? What would my hobbies be? What would I be good at?" I think doing this will lead to new and exciting discoveries that never would have occurred to you. Then you'll have something else to look forward too. And who knows, maybe you'll be reinvigorated and you'll but what you do now into a new perspective.

Try it!
jadegreenaura Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
:C I want more Dead Fantasy but not if you're gunna overwork yourself doing it :C :C :C
KeybladeKnight99 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Student Writer
I can tell from RvB season 9 that you pour 200% into every frame. I'll also say that all the action in Season 9 far surpasses anything I saw in theaters this past summer. When I'm watching anything of yours, my eyes are always glued to the screen, its because its always unique and I never know what to expect, you're truly original in your work. But I can understand your weariness.
While I'm no hermit, I do prefer to have lots of time to myself. But when I do need time off from myself, I find that spending lots of time with others, helps me forgot my crazy self. Just a thought ;)
Well, I have to say, Mr. Oum, in this day and age, you *ARE* lucky. You have a girlfriend that'll put up with your busy schedule through thick and thin. You are employed, employable, and get to do EXACTLY what you love, with basically no compromises, 24/7. And you get paid to do it. Frankly, having both a good relationship AND a good job in this day and about as much as you can ask for.

But on top of that, you're an internet badass, a shining example of a self-taught individual whose work is plain and clear for all to see.

I think it's fair to say that you have it better than many, MANY (and by many, I mean basically most) people, and I'm sure so many of them would trade their miseries for yours.

Remember, basically everyone has problems, so at the end of the day, it's pick-your-poison as opposed to ah-this-is-the-life.
GuerrieroNero Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011

Deal with it.
GuerrieroNero Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Wrong link, damn:

ExiledStriker Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Monty, take as much of a break as you need. Just to get yourself together amd refresh, y'know? your fans are here and are paitent :)
Yenkai Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Dead Fantasy ??????? when ?????????
BnetsCursedAngel Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Your fans will wait for you. You need to take a break. Even if it's just a week off where you turn off your computer and do nothing but sleep and pig out on junk food. From what you've told us, it's basically been day in, and day out, endless work. Hell, I'm sure even the rest of the team at Rooster Teeth would be glad to have a week vacation. You guys are up to season TEN.

Ignore the fans who are crying out for something NOW, and talk with the other guys(gals) at Rooster Teeth, and try to get yourself a break. Like I said, even if it's just a few days or a week where you do nothing but sleep, chow on junk food, and watch a ton of bad movies. You'll come back refreshed and feeling better then before.
RoxyRoo Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
My sister and I thoroughly enjoyed season 9. There was just so many memorable moments. <3
As for taking a break, I suggest anything that gets you out of the house. >.>

Congratulations, Monty!
TapMasterC Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Hang in there, buddy. While you may not be able to get away from yourself, you can try to get away from your style of living. Take a step away from your regular projects from time to time and go do something different (and legal, haha.)
Sephionos Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
it seems to me that your dream has also become work and too much of a good thing can be bad. Ever thought of getting another hobby on the side like a sport, or maybe some other type of art.
XDemyxSitarX Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
I look up to you :3 just take it easy and don't make a overkill on yourself <3
AngelicLionheart Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You are wonderfully mistaken my friend, when you say there is no escape from yourself. You can escape into someone else. Best thing I can relate it to, gamer-to-gamer, is trying to lone wolf it in a match of Halo or Battlefield 3 when playing large team games. You could try to accomplish the objectives by yourself, and there may be some success to that, but ultimately I think you'll end up frustrated. I find that it's really cool and a total change of pace to just pick someone and be their wingman. This only works if you can NOT talk to them, I find. But when you invest totally in their experience, when you be their out-of-left-field best buddy and uninvited guardian angel, what you're trying to accomplish by playing the game changes and thus what you judge to be success or failure at the end of a match changes. This really works best when they're not just goofing around and they're really trying to accomplish the mission objectives, like in Invasion. So you might have to buddy-hop a few times before you find an objective-oriented player. But once you find them, MAN is it fun to just focus on their experience and block out how what you're doing fits into the bigger picture.

I've lost myself by focusing on others. Not on many, but on one at a time, for lengthy periods of time until it's time to part ways again. Then I find someone else.

I don't do this all the time. I do this when I need a break from the regular stuff. :)

I hope that this helps! <3
Coolb05 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Yo you even inspired me lol.
AngelicLionheart Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you. :)
DOADOADOA Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
U should make a dvd 4 dead fantasy.Id so buy it.Oh yea take a break or at least try to.Ur wrking 2 hard 2 please fans (such as myself 4 dead fantasy ;D) tht u should start thnking about urself.Thanks Giving and Christmas only com once a year so make use of it.Oh nd dnt 4get 2 celebrate New Years as well.1 of the best time of the year :D
xXSilver-DarknessXx Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe you just need a break, Thanksgiving is coming around, try and take the time to enjoy it ^^

By the way, it's been pretty awesome watching your progress over the years, really. :3
Overlordflinx Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
If it helps Mr. Oum, I bought a copy and I look up to you. All your fans will be there for you to give all the support we can.
SaintJoanofTheRoses Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Dude, take a break! You deserve it immensely.
DonFernando Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
That's soem profound stuff. I like you. You're cool. Viel Gluck!
sharkbyte3827 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
already have my copy of the DVD reserved <3. I can't wait to get it and hear the commentary about the development X3. you did some wonderful work for the dvd, dude. your animation, modeling, action and your camera work was wonderful. Especially with the various "under the helmet" moments with the characters.

Can't wait to see your work with season 10 dude. you helped create a serious cliff hanger.
miasaka Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been feeling similar too. I just need a break and a chance to relax and work on my story, but I'm so busy it just hurts.
drklucavi Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Monty your work is amazing i LOVE what you bring to the RvB series, i cant get enough. Makes me sad i gotta wait a freaking year for season 10.

side note i hope tex isnt gone but i think epsilon gave hints she isnt.
Gideon020 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Season 10 will only be good with you in charge of the action sequences. Looking forward to the next Dead Fantasy too.
Getsuei-san Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Student Digital Artist
I'd buy RvB had I got the money :(

But I hope you feel better and even though life can sometimes suck, it's sometimes all 'bout mind perspective! (...) but just keep in mind that whatever hardships you're going through, there's always away to overcome them.
BlackFlameOfNothing Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It must be hard with all the people yelling for new videos. I love dead fantasy, but i'm going to wait patiently. People don't relise how hard it is to make things like this.
I hope you feel better soon, Monty
(lol i sound so mature even tho im only 12 :P)
Good luck with future projects. I'd love to animate like you but i wouldn't know where to start o_o you're very talented.
Like i said before, Good Luck
OmniUltima Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Maybe you could get some of the RT cast to help with the DeadFantasy stuff
Apprentice2Drizzt Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Watch some my little pony: friendship is magic. You'll start to feel better. lol
lilylionheart Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Hang in there Monty! D:
Just remember that you are stronger than you believe and smarter than you think
I believe in ya! :D
Lazyqat Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I want to thank you and the entire rooster teeth team for working so hard. I'v enjoyed all the videos and cant wait to see more.
Personally, I think everyone feels that way monty everyone can feel empty don't worry. I think your morals have been a true light to everyone and has definitly encouraged many people to work harder and harder. What goes around comes around. I just hope it will be coming back to you sooner rather than later. with lots of love your fans <3 :tighthug:
Espada-1-Lewis Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Hug Geoff give him a Kiss. He'll give you a day off xD
Draken-Ashura Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
You know...sometimes there is nothing wrong with being every so slightly selfish and doing something that YOU need to do.

With season 9 done, and the fact you work damm hard for all your fans...I think a break is in order. Just get yourself away for a week or 2...chill, relax or do extreme sports if thats your thing. Just let go for a few days and you will come back clear minded, refreshed and ready to take on the world all over again!
Phaedrolous Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Student General Artist
That was pretty poetic, there. Good stuff.
ReaplingofDIE Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Season nine was amazing! Season ten will be AMAZING!!!!
We're all waiting for DFVI... the suspense is killing me!
nightmaredude456 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
My mother always said to do what makes you happy, not what makes you money. If you're unhappy, then forgo the cash and do something else. When you end up in a funk, the best thing to do is step away from whatever you regularly do; in both our cases, get away from the computer. Go camping, write something the old fashioned way, get messy and creative with something you haven't done. It's not the destination that counts, it's how you get there.
Shanzai007 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
thats so true...
ShitaInuzuka Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
I don't have any talent like you do Monty, but I think that if someone has a choice between happiness, and greatness, they should choose happiness. This does come into conflict with something you believe, and it is something that I admire and believe deep down in the back of my head: Is Happiness worth the loss of potential? I thought to myself what I'd love to do, is get a crappy but consistent job so that I could do what I wanted in my off time, and live on my own with no one to tell me what to do. Potential future be damned, that life of hedonism would be for me. But, I started to face that emptiness that you've mentioned. That emptiness, is horrible. I think the only thing that can make that emptiness go away is other people.

So, if you work hard on RvB, or any other side projects, let it be for yourself. Not for the audience. If you think you need a break. Take a break. Or just let the steam out, slow down. I gotta tell you the emptiness won't go away, but you'll be able to better deal with the stress. Life is long, and it is hard. But you knew that already. These empty feelings, they like to come back. Alot. But they'll be dealt with, always.

Good luck!
MichaelScanlon Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
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